Loneliness

[mrsdopamine]

I've been in recovery for years but moved out of London a few years ago and live rurally. School parents all drinkers and I find we aren't invited to things. I'm open about my drinking or lack of but maybe seen as less fun perhaps. I don't really know.
It's having the effect of isolating me even further and my depression is bad at the moment as other family stuff going on too. I don't know how to make good friends and have been struggling with this my whole life. On the surface I seem happy and confident but the constant being left out and not included by people in our school community is hard to bear. I spent the entire night awake and going through it all in my head. I find rejection v hard and it triggers me in every way imaginable. I'm going to a meeting later but I wanted to write down how I'm feeling as the pain of loneliness is really getting to me right now.

Have you tried joining clubs or the gym and doing exercise classes? You can make gym friends if you do classes. Also, maybe there is a book club or gardening club you can join? Do you like animals? Getting a dog is another great way to get chatting to other people who have dogs. Plus a dog is great companion.

@Mamabear12 it's a struggle. We are quite remote so it's not easy to access those things plus I'm alone a lot with kids. I think the bit that continues to confound me is the exclusion zone that exists... I feel so confused and hurt by the apparent truth that people don't want non drinkers around. Or maybe it is personal to me I don't know. It's hard making friends where I am so school is the obvious place but maybe I need to rethink.

Perhaps it is in your head? Have you tried to arrange non drinking activities with other parents? Such as picnic one day including the kids? You could just send a general email or message to all the parents in the class saying something like "I thought it would be lovely, if we had a picnic with the kids now that the weather is better. Is anyone up for picnic in the park Sat X Date?" Our school also does running activity once a year with a race, so some parents sign up for this and train together.

I'm sure you are right. These are all good practical suggestions. Its motivating myself to do it when I feel depressed. The whole thing is self fulfilling.