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Alcohol support

Loneliness

4 replies

mrsdopamine · 03/06/2019 08:53

I've been in recovery for years but moved out of London a few years ago and live rurally. School parents all drinkers and I find we aren't invited to things. I'm open about my drinking or lack of but maybe seen as less fun perhaps. I don't really know.
It's having the effect of isolating me even further and my depression is bad at the moment as other family stuff going on too. I don't know how to make good friends and have been struggling with this my whole life. On the surface I seem happy and confident but the constant being left out and not included by people in our school community is hard to bear. I spent the entire night awake and going through it all in my head. I find rejection v hard and it triggers me in every way imaginable. I'm going to a meeting later but I wanted to write down how I'm feeling as the pain of loneliness is really getting to me right now.

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Mamabear12 · 03/06/2019 12:09

Have you tried joining clubs or the gym and doing exercise classes? You can make gym friends if you do classes. Also, maybe there is a book club or gardening club you can join? Do you like animals? Getting a dog is another great way to get chatting to other people who have dogs. Plus a dog is great companion.

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mrsdopamine · 03/06/2019 13:02

@Mamabear12 it's a struggle. We are quite remote so it's not easy to access those things plus I'm alone a lot with kids. I think the bit that continues to confound me is the exclusion zone that exists... I feel so confused and hurt by the apparent truth that people don't want non drinkers around. Or maybe it is personal to me I don't know. It's hard making friends where I am so school is the obvious place but maybe I need to rethink.

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Mamabear12 · 03/06/2019 13:19

Perhaps it is in your head? Have you tried to arrange non drinking activities with other parents? Such as picnic one day including the kids? You could just send a general email or message to all the parents in the class saying something like "I thought it would be lovely, if we had a picnic with the kids now that the weather is better. Is anyone up for picnic in the park Sat X Date?" Our school also does running activity once a year with a race, so some parents sign up for this and train together.

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mrsdopamine · 03/06/2019 13:56

I'm sure you are right. These are all good practical suggestions. Its motivating myself to do it when I feel depressed. The whole thing is self fulfilling.