Alcoholic Grandfather

[Edinburghmum86]

My father is a high functioning alcoholic. He drinks and drives. My biggest problem is he takes my son out (2 years old) in the car. He says he has not drank but Im sure I can smell it. I manage to avoid my parents picking him up the majority of the time, but i am having to go back to work and I will have no control over them taking him out in the car whilst they are looking after him. I have told my mother that he is drink driving but she doesn't believe me, or chooses to pretend she doesnt know. I can put him in nursery some of the time but some of the time he is going to be in their care. What can I do to get around this?

Put him down

Even if you could prove beyond all reasonable doubt that he was driving above the limit with your DS, he and your mum would simply not accept that it is a problem.

I second the advice about going to Al-Anon.

At the risk of outing myself, I’ve been in this situation with my husband. I thought he would never dare drive drunk with my kids. He did. The kids are still alive. He is not.

You MUST protect your child. Think about the worst thing which could happen. You would never forgive yourself. Your parents are letting you down and letting your son down. Do the right thing and hold your head high as a good parent.

If they throw a strop then they can't visit you until they've calmed down. Tell them you will not allow your father to drive your DS and it's up to them whether they want to accept it and continue to see your family or not accept it and have much less contact. Then ignore all the raging, put the phone down if they are rude, meet them outside of your home so that you can just walk away. There is clearly no point in reasoning with them, they are not reasonable people on this matter.

Or should I just be done with it and tip the poluce off anonymously. It would be easier if he just lost his licence. He very much deserves to loose it and a huge fine However the custodial sentance risk makes me feel ill.

The only problem with that is he might get lucky and be under the limit and that would reinforce his sense of self righteousness
There is only one way to stop this really OP. Take a deep breath and tell them, then do not engage in debate , tell them you have made a decision and what ever they say or rant or whatever, just repeat calmly that you understand they feel differently BUT you have made your decision as it's your child and your responsibility- end of conversation and walk away
Good luck