Addicted to wine

[BlueVelvett]

I posted this in General Health, but I think this place is more appropriate.
I have to seriously cut down on my wine consumption. I can't just have one or two glasses, I have to have the whole bottle and now even that isn't enough. I drink a bottle of wine most nights. I'm fed up of feeling crap all the time - constantly tired and lethargic, not sleeping properly, being overweight, not functioning properly. When I drink wine, I love how it makes me feel, I almost feel euphoric. I always feel dreadful though the next day and vow to cut down, but I can't stop. I'm really worried about the effect it's having on my health and also about my long term, heavy drinking triggering an early menopause, as I have read that this is possible. Has anyone had success with seriously cutting down or stopping their alcohol consumption? How did your life change after you cut down on your drink? I could really use some advice inspiration. Thank you.

Just curious how everyone is doing.

How are you getting on Expatt ?

Not sure really vxa2
I've had a few evenings recently that made me think "what the hell"? My husband was away for 2 weeks so I was free to indulge without hiding it. Actually scared myself a bit if I'm honest by the amount I can put away !
I know my drinking is not really what most would consider normal (although on sharing I've found many other women who are also probably teetering on the edge of a serious problem!)
I'm doing a cleanse to try and lose weight right now - so have no wine or anything in the house. I'm actually fine with it and have a cuppa instead and then marvel at waking up not feeling like crap!! So if I have it in the house I know I'll definitely have a glass of wine !!
I have had a rough 6 months with the sudden death of a friend and then a bad back injury meant I couldn't walk let alone work out (which I had been doing regularly if not willingly!). Both things made me depressed which I've dealt with by drinking too heavily and I've gained over a stone and the reality is kicking me !
I think I'll be ok but it's good to hear from others who are supportive

I would like to join this thread please. I am worried about the damage I am doing to myself and my relationship, plus it makes my anxiety ten times worse the next day.

I drink a bottle a night, often more. I cant lose weight despite eating well because of this habit, and I need to. My husband doesn't see it as an issue as he dotes on me so would never want to upset me, plus he comes from a family of heavy drinkers, his parents can put the booze away and lived long happy successful lives. So he would support me if I try to stop but he would also pop to the shop for a bottle for me if I change my mind.

I dont remember the last night I didnt have a drink. I dont even really TRY not to, I just say it in my head, but I sort of already know that come 8/9pm I will have a glass in my hand.

There are so many reasons to cut down/stop, and none to carry on this way.

I feel the need to comment here too. I am addicted to wine. I drink probably 5 nights a week, and can easily do 2 bottles without it causing too much of an issue in terms of I don't get crazy when I'm drunk, I don't black out, I rarely get a hangover, I'm very happy in my life, no anxiety issues, I'm not trying to block anything out, no relationship issues, so I do find it hard to stop as there is no trigger, or reason why I drink, I just love a glass of wine and have no off switch! Does anyone else feel like this? I'm seeing lots of reasons why people drink and I can't relate to any of them (apart from habit). I just like it! But I also know that it's not good for my health or weight which is the main reason I need to do something about it.

This book is amazing.

Sorry, pressed Send too soon.

I started to read this book in a very cynical mood but was immediately wrapped up in it - I couldn't stop reading it and from that moment I stopped drinking completely. I didn't have to think about it - I just didn't want a drink. I was drinking over half a bottle of wine per night.

Worth a try?

The naked mind by Annie Grace is far far better than Jason Vales book. Also check out Hip Sobriety website. It's got loads of free resources.

I could have written the OPs post. I am struggling with it myself and have had more day 1's this year than I would like to admit to. I have had 21 days in Jan, 7 days in March, 11 days in June and several 3 or 4 day spells. I'm aiming for 30 days right now...

Yoga is really helping me. Sporadic meditation helps me. Eating good food helps me. Reading both "self help" type books but also pure Chick lit escapism helps. In the end, it's about replacing the booze gradually with healthy stuff that helps you create a life you don't want to numb out from.

I too have read this naked mind book, and whilst I've not given up completely, I've not had any wine since I read it, 4 weeks ago. I've had a couple of drinks, shandy or pimms or g&t, I've had a couple, enjoyed them, then stopped! New concept for me!

thats really interesting sooobeee as i felt pretty much as you do. no reason for my drinking and i can function - just no off switch. it stands at a bottle a night for me and its got to stop. ive sent for the book onto my kindle - going to start it tonight.

my drinking is a problem now. for me and those i love. when im alone i drink far more than when dp is here and he hates it if i just have a couple now as it affects me so badly even when i dont think it has. on nights out i get so plastered i cant remember them. the last night out i had with friends ended with me throwing up in the car and him cleaning my phone and handbag. he has had enough.

Like many on here, I read OP's post and could have written it word for word. You are not only NOT alone, it seems there are so many of us struggling with this, yet perversely, enjoying it so much, but not the after effects, the lethargy, low mood, anxiety that follows. I too have no off switch and cannot open a bottle without finishing it. If I clear out the booze, I will get to 9pm and then do a mercy dash to the local store to buy in, and then feel bad that I can't even be strong enough to kick it for a day.
I'm trying to get to understand how you form- and break- habits, and also to recognise that there are definitely triggers- kids arguing, heaving a stressful conversation, also feeling great, feeling I've earned a reward for a productive day's work. I don't have the answer yet but am trying to face up to it.

Hello Intimeandspace. It’s so timely you decided to comment on here this morning because I’ve come looking for exactly the same advice. I too have a bottle-1.5 bottles most nights. I don’t know what I’m doing or why, but it has to stop. I have always had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but more to do with binge drinking rather than this daily heavy amount! I’ve got to the point now where I feel like enough is enough. I have looked up the Naked Mind book and am going to download to my Kindle later. I feel so much better for finding this thread and realising that I’m not the only one doing this to myself.

I’ve been thinking about habits too and how to replace this one with some that are more productive and not going to affect my health! I find myself sat of an evening when the kids are in bed thinking ‘god this is so boring’...not sure how having wine makes watching the TV or surfing the Internet etc any less ‘boring’?? Anyway I really appreciate everyone’s posts on here. I’ll be coming back to this board without a doubt. Things have to change for me.

Gottochange nice to hear from you! It is really worrying how it creeps up- I used to have the odd/regular binge when younger but it's now become habitual and obv my tolerance is vastly increased because I can really drink a bottle ( I deliberately look for the alcohol content first now!) of 12-12.5 percent and feel not to shabby the next day. But on some days - last night for instance- I had got a nice bottle in as a friend was coming over. I thought- half of that, tickets-boo. Friend couldn't make it, and then I knew that bottle at 13.5 is going to make me feel like a I do this morning. Up early, suited and booted yes, but walking to the tube thinking overly negative thoughts and feeling quite Apocalyptic about the world, my place in it, my son's future. And so on.
I'm a lone parent and have been since I was pregnant. I love my son's company SO much and he is the light of my life, but when he's in bed I just don't have anything else that I LOVE doing. So I phone friends and have a 'virtual party' most evenings, or watch tv or read. I do gym in the day so don't feel like more exercise. It's boredom/cabin fever and feeling alone, even with a loving family and great mates.

I’m absolutely with you on tolerance, same here I can usually just get up and get on with my day feeling just a little ‘fuzzy’ and the anxiety is dreadful! I yearn to just feel normal and as full of beans as someone with young kids can! I guess we need to re ‘normalise’ normal! All those people not drinking to pass the ‘boredom’ must be doing OK, right? I really feel like I need to rediscover pleasure in some small things and start feeling grateful for all that I’m lucky to have here!

Dry good intentions tonight. But maths homework gave me a proper rage/panic/frustration. And a job rejection " you're good with the Exec stuff but would be bored with the operational stuff". Could I be the judge of that please? Not the case. So off to the offie for a two for one on some irrelevant Merlot.

This original post was me...I love wine, always have, and for the last goodness knows how many years I drank most nights, sometimes less, sometimes a bottle. I'm a single mum in France and when I didn't go out wine was my friend. I never once got drunk, but often had that groggy feeling. I run lots, belong to a club and do marathons, and wine never seemed to slow me down. I decided 2 months ago that my love affair had to stop as I'm nearly 52 and not showing a good example to my children, athough they have never seen me drunk or even tipsy. I was worried about developing an alcoholic face (puffy, red eyes, swollen nose), fed up with not sleeping properly and taking sleeping pills every night (non prescription ones but not good), fed up with all the crisps and cheese I consumed with the wine which meant I'd put on a few kgs (not fat at all, but any excess weight isn't great for running) and I just wanted to be normal and break the habit. I decided to try cutting down a couple of months ago and immediately managed to get drinking down to moderate or normal - no more than 6 units a weekend (Fri - Sun) when with friends or BF and never on my own. I've lost 4kgs, sleep well, eat better, save money and am still shocked it was so easy. But then in France it isn't acceptable for women to drink a lot, when out an apéro and a glass of wine with a meal is usually all, so it is easier without the UK drinking culture. I really wish everyone with a wine habit the best of luck if you do try and break it. Try and keep busy during the trigger period (wine o'clock), find a drink you like (I never tried the AF drinks, but I've always loved Perrier so stick with that).

anglaise. Totally get what you're saying. We were in France last weekend and had a wonderful time- lots of lovely wine and aperos but not excessive. Here in London, there is a very different vibe and there is not only a universal drinking culture but a very pervasive - and persuasive- middle class/professional drinking culture. I'm sorry if you're reading this and not in that thing, but it's everywhere in our psyche. I've lived in pit villages, northern towns, scotland...same problem, different excuses.
It's probably the biggest secret in he U.K. Women who drink too much. Like it. And hate it.

intimeandspace I moved to France over 15 years ago and was very surprised about the way women in particular drank. So abstemious compared to what I consumed with my girlfriends in the UK! All parties revolve around food, the apèro is sacred and there is always food...it really isn't the same as the UK where alcohol is the most important thing at a party and not the food. So whenever I go out I never drink much because it isn't in the culture, my problem was home alone. When I see friends from the UK now I'm quite shocked at how much they can drink, even when on holiday, 4 bottles in a day between a couple is a lot. I share half a bottle with my BF at most now, and only ever at the weekend.

felt I needed to post here as can relate to so much that has been said. As soon as the children are in bed I reach for a glass of wine! My thesis is looking into just that 'professional drinking culture' that you describe intimeandspace but particularly speaking to mothers who have just returned to work (there is literally nothing in the literature which I think is weird given how stressful the transition to motherhood and then back to work can be!). I am still recruiting if anyone is interested in taking part - have posted a link to the recruitment survey in the survey section of mumsnet (don't think am allowed to post it here).