Sober for Christmas

[Alfiepants]

I'm nearly two months in and finding it hard to get to AA meetings as much as I'd like. Really hoping others might want to join in here for general support in staying sober particularly at such a stressful busy time of year

Teapot. I wish I could be normal
and have just one too! congrats so far on your journey :)

Thanks nina. I don't find myself wanting to be 'normal' really. When I look at my family, I think very few of them can take or leave alcohol to the extent they'd like to think they can. There are a couple of people who only have the very occasional drink - but other than that, most people will want more than one drink, and will drink to excess leaving them feeling hungover the next day. I don't want to feel hungover the next day!!

I sometimes wonder what 'normal is too. The circle of friends we have are to a person very heavy drinkers- and that is 'normal' for us. DH was about the lightest of the drinkers, because he is a 2 pint man, then he needs a few days to recover. Everyone else drinks the way I used to.... and for years I justified my consumption with 'well, everybody does it'. I even used the alcohol consumption in books and films as 'well everyone does it'! I thought that maybe it was just me who was/is worried about my consumption, but when our friends tell 'hilarious' stories of going out on the piss and ending up naked in other peoples beds despite being married etc, it makes me wonder. I am wondering if 'normal' is to have a problematic relationship with alcohol, and 'not normal' is to be a take it or leave it kind of person. I am just thinking out loud, so this is not that coherent. But, I never really realised how widespread problem drinking is really until I started really questioning the perniciousness of alcohol in our society.

Not sure any of that makes sense though!

Interesting Corn. I have noticed since stopping that I did drink faster/more than my friends (most of them, anyway). I had the occasional friend who would be more 'on one' than me when we went out, and of course inside I would be all judgey about their need to have a fourth bottle of wine when I would have stopped at three

I think the key element for those of us who have stopped drinking is that drinking made us very unhappy. There are people who drink way more than I ever did, but do not spend hours cowering under the duvet the next day, full of self-hatred and regret. If they are happy, then fair play to them. I was explaining to my SIL at the weekend that no, I wasn't just doing this because I wanted to lose weight (her assumption). She definitely drinks as much as I did - if not more, and her FB page is always full of talk about her going to fancy restaurants, pictures of cocktails or huge glasses of wine, etc etc. But when I responded by saying "I just had had enough of having hangovers, I HATED hangovers" she looked at me puzzled.

Hmmm very interesting

by 'normal' in my mind is a person who can enjoy a couple of drinks on say a Friday or sat night and have the 'benefits' of alcohol as a 'normal' occurrence in their life however as you say whose normal is that?

Not a person like me who was sloshing down loads every night in my own home on the sofa mostly alone or with my DH and feeling terrible about the whole cycle physically and mentally. that didn't feel the 'norm' to me

However what's normal of course?

I think I've gone too far the other way nina. I read Jason Vale and Allen Carr, both of whom work very hard to make you realise there are no benefits to drinking. There are only perceived benefits, which most people believe are cast-iron reasons why they should continue drinking: "It relaxes me"... "It gives me confidence"... etc.

One of my favourite post-drinking sayings is that sobriety offers everything that alcohol promised. :)

oooh I love that saying teapot! for me it's so true too. Will be using that