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Adoption

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Original poster

I'm having a slight sense of humour failure - talk me down please

37 replies

bran · 09/10/2009 20:29

It doesn't normally bother me (much) when people refer to adoption as though it was an easy option compared to giving birth. In rl, if I can be bothered, I sometimes explain what a long and annoying process it is and the sorts of issues that can come with children who need to be adopted. Sometimes I just act as though I haven't heard the comment, but on the whole I just let it pass by.

However, on the YouTube Mumsnet birth tips video someone says her top tip for giving birth is to adopt. I started a thread about it in chat where the general opinion was that I was taking it too seriously, so I put it out of my mind. Now the top tip quote is at the top of the Mumsnet Latest box (I don't know if everyone has this box, it's on the RHS of my Active Conversations). I catch sight of it regularly and it's pissing me off out of all proportion to what the poor MNetter who said it probably intended.

I should just try harder to ignore it shouldn't I?

OP posts:
Original poster
bran · 11/10/2009 23:11

That Jeremy Hardy quote still makes me giggle Kew. Now and then it pops into my mind when I'm in some tedious adoption related meeting and I have to suppress a smirk.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 12/10/2009 14:23

great idea! can anyone post a recipe?

blithedance · 13/10/2009 20:46

Flame grilled

positiveattitudeonly · 13/10/2009 20:55

Turned slowly on a spit!

Original poster
bran · 13/10/2009 22:58

I like PAO's recipe. That will work especially well for the well-padded ones. Some of them would be too old and tough for that though, and would probably need to be braised slowly to make them palateable.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 14/10/2009 20:47

My friends childrens social worker kisses her 6 year old boy (placed 6 months ago and not yet adopted) on the lips and tells him she loves him... I think she would vote for the spit roasting approach

Am I alone in thinking this rather unprofessional?

KristinaM · 15/10/2009 20:38

no you are not alone! its hugely inappropriate for anyone dealing with a child in a professional capacity

and for any Sw who should be aware of issues such as attachment and possible background of abuse, its SERIOUSLY out of order

but of course your friends can do nothing about it. at least until they have an adoption order on their LAST child ( not this one)

Kewcumber · 15/10/2009 22:47

she is trying to slow the adoption down - my friend thinks she is inappropriately attached to their older boy. They are adopting siblings 6 and 4 and she insist for coming for the weekend and every time she leaves they have problmes with the boy. They have decided to apply for the adoption wihtout her support which I worry about but this is going to be their only adoption so I think they are just oging to try slugging it out...

Original poster
bran · 15/10/2009 23:12

She comes for the weekend. You mean she actually stays with them? The whole thing does sound wildly inappropriate, does the SW's manager know? Have they spoken to their own SW?

I have decided not to joke anymore about cooking SWs. It does seem overly ironic to start a thread about being upset about a mild reference to adoption and ending it with a recipe to cook a SW. Anyway, I quite like most of the SWs I've met, and the only one I really wanted to do some harm to was very scrawny and wouldn't have made good eating.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 16/10/2009 00:42

Kew - i agree with bran, that's totally nuts. i have never heard of a Sw staying with a family!!!And i know lots of families who have had children placed from the other end of the UK.

Even if she feels she has to do two short visits over two days she should stay in a hotel.

what does the family's Sw say about it?? I'm assuming its an inter agency placement so they should be involved in the on going supervision. i cant believe this was agreed at review meetings!

Not sure about the law in their country, but they may need to have had the children living with them for a certain period of time if they plan to apply to the courts without the approval of the placing authority

bran - i wasn't joking about cooking the Sws. but i woudln't actually eat them - yuck

Kewcumber · 16/10/2009 07:20

sorry to mislead yes she stays in a hotel but is there really any need for her to come for a whole weekend (we suspect linked to the fact that her son lives locally ). This is in the UK Kris - they've been with her 6 months but they are using a lawyer I beleive so I assume they are getting decent advice.

SHe no longer works for the placing authority who are just paying her to see this placement out and we suspect she is dragging it out to continue being paid to see her son.

KristinaM · 16/10/2009 20:27

sounds very dodgy to me but , as i'm sure you know, there is nothing they can do but grin and bear it right now

poor kids, they must be really confused

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