Should we be allowed to adopt a child who is mixed race, when we are white?

[PSCMUM]

I think so.
I think the travesty of thousands (is this right?) maybe hundreds, anyway loads, of mixed race and black and asian children languishing in care without a permanent family whilst there are so many people who would love them and be their parents, well i think it is just awful.

also if a hld iz mixed race, surely they are MIXED race, not just black or white, so it should be black or white or mixed race adopters who should be considered?

Porpsective adopters and little children in need of parents are losing out and why?
any views?

i don't see why not. i mean, you could have a baby who is mixed race if your partner is of another race.

i don't have a problem with single people, homosexual couples, older people, etc. adopted.

families come in all shapes, sizes, age ranges, etc.

I really don't understand this point of view:

" they like to keep the cultural/hertiage of the child & place them with the same ethnic background "

if it's a mixed race child. If a child is half black background, half white background, why on earth can't the child be placed with either a black OR a white background? Being mixed race should double the child's chances of being placed, not halve it.

I'm mixed race - and from my POV the country you're brought up in has a far greater influence on your ethnicity than anyone gives credit for. I didn't realise just how British I was until I went to live in my father's country of bith for a while to 'find my roots'. I did find them - they were in the UK all along where I'd grown up!

and bizarrely Paris I was told even a mixed race child who had previously been living with their single white mother would be unlikely to be placed with a single white mother because of the race issue.

Would it be too controversial to mention two words here?
Barack. Obama.

Nancy and Kew - I find that eyepoppingly awful. I just don't understand who these people are who can 'force' ethnicity on someone, and their version of ethnicity to boot. I'm shocked and deeply saddened. What kind of mixed - up, inverse racism is this?

I don't want to go into details, but I have a friend who had to fight tooth and nail to adopt her second DC because of this. She and her husband are one ethnicity, the child they wanted was the same on it's mothers side, but had a different background from the father. SS were quite happy to tell them they wanted the child to go to a family from the same background as the father. The impression given was that his race/culture was more important to maintain than the mothers Surely they should both be of equal importance? It was all fairly disgusting imo, but luckily she won in the end, and they're all very happy.

dp's friend and his dw (white) who live near the borders of two multiracial north London boroughs were allowed to adopt a mixed raced girl about one year old a few years ago. They've also since adopted her younger half sister. I don't know it was via the council or a private adoption agency but would think the former more likely.

I do actually know a white couple who have adopted two mixed race children (different racial backgrounds). I have no idea how they managed this! But I also know not one but two couples where one is white and the other Turkish - and they have been told they can only apply to adopt a mixed white/Turkish child. Now, I do get why it is preferable that a black child is not raised by white parents in a white community (though that may sometimes be the best option on offer) but I can't for the life of me understand why a white child can't be raised by one white and one Turkish parent, living in a mainly white community. They're not exactly going to be cut off from their racial heritage, are they? You could argue they are getting a positive benefit from being able to participate in someone else's racial heritage while still being secure in their own.

But I guess that's back to ForPetesSake's point about adopted children losing anonymity/control if they don't look like their parents. In my case, I can never provide that: I am in an interracial, same sex couple and our birth daughter only looks like one of us - every time she calls my dp mummy people wonder what is going on. Add another child of another racial heritage, and nobody will ever see us as 'family'. And that may be one of our obstacles to adoption - it has certainly been raised by sw already - and I can only say that we can't provide a 'normal' family; we can only provide a loving, stable family that is committed to supporting our children to hold their heads high and be proud of us. In this era of more open adoption, I'm hoping they will be receptive to that. And I hope I am right to think that we have a lot to offer, and that our 'differentness' doesn't compound the problems any child we adopt will have to face.

A loving family over remaining in care. It seems a no-brainer to me.

Where we live mixed race children are the norm. Nobody bats an eyelid at seeing parents of different ethnicity to their children, so you can hardly argue adopted children will stick out in a crowd.

And I do think the cultural heritage stuff is played up too much. I was born and educated in the UK to an Irish mother and a Chinese father, and the extent of my cultural inheritance is some unusual swear words, and the ability to use chopsticks and make soda bread.

We're in Singapore and adopted a mixed race (Asian/caucasian baby here). We're both white.

I'm 100% convinced this was the best thing for him and that no-one could love him more than us, but the lack of privacy thing is a real issue, especially as people here have no compunction (sp?) about gawping and then asking very intrusive questions.

He's not yet 2 but is already starting to notice people staring at him.

You might want to look at this article which argues very powerfully for transracial adoption and also particularly the research paper mentioned in it

www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/dominic-lawson/dominic-lawson-the-racism-of-ou r-adoption-rules-1009592.html

o thank you so much everyone! trhere is not one unsupportive post. I knew (hoped) I wasn't going mad in thinking that it would be nicer for children to be adopted to a loving family than to stay in care, and the point about them being not adopted only to stay with foster carers who are white! I mean FOR GODS SAKE!!!! exemplifying this: I read about a little boy on one adoption list who is white but in his 'likes' the social worker had written 'carribean food and music' - he has caribean foster carers. They also say he is doing realy well, has formed atachments to them etc etc. So the stupidy of their own policy must be staring them in the face with childrne like that!

and also, the law change was 2002, and it didn't say 'you must place black children with blakc parents' etc etc, it said local authorities have to have 'due regard' to a child's cultural and ethnic background. I realy don't think keeping them in care until they are too old to be adopted is due regard, its downright bloody awful!

I really hope we get to adopt someone soon. The process is long and I know it will take ages, but having a leage proportion of our potential children taken away at a stroke because of a really lazy and blinkered and wrong interpreation of the law, well it makes me sad.

good luck with your plans, PSCMUM

I'm so glad PSCMUM started this discussion, as my DH and I are planning to adopt in the future. He's white, I'm black. I don't know whether this means we'd be allowed to adopt black, white and black/white multi-ethnic children - we'll find out in a few years time when we apply - but I think it's absolutely criminal that children are deprived of a loving home by overzealously PC social workers who clearly understand nothing of the children's situation, nothing about what a human needs to grow, and nothing (as it appears) of where the law stands on this issue.

We would gladly adopt a child from any ethnic background; my DH and I are so keen to provide a child with a fun, caring home full of unconditional love. Who cares what their ethnicity is?

We have arranged for friends of ours to act as (can't think of the correct term) replacement parents if both of us die while our biological DS is still young. These friends happen to be a multi-ethnic couple (one white, one of Asian origin) but their ethnicity never occurred to me until I started writing this post. If we were both to die and there was nobody among our friends and family available to take responsibility for our biological DS, I would be livid to know that a social worker was keeping DS from having a family life rather because of the colour of his skin.

In a bizarre way, isn't this a form of racism in itself?

Yes, it is racism and it's appalling.

I'm mixed race adopted into a white family. There were problems but in those days it was very poorly handled and the whole issue of ethnicity was just ignored.

I have worked on various panels to do with this issue and there are some VERY militant campaigners out there making sure mixed race or black children don't go into white families. I have had screaming matches with one or two over this issue and frankly can't bear to meet with the last panel again they annoy me so much.

Of course in an ideal world children would get the prefect ethnic fit - but in an ideal world there would be no adoption. It's madness, given that the aternative is being in care.

Hear, hear, Acinonyx. Out of interest, have the 'militant' people you mentioned been black, white, Asian, multi-ethnic, etc?

I rather suspect that it's a bit like the 'baa baa white sheep' controversy - not one black person was offended by the song but someone decided it was racist anyway.

Please prove me wrong in this instance.

The people I'm thinking of are African, south and east Asian transracial adoptees, not white. There are some very militant adoptees and while I understand the argument I do wonder though, just what they propose should happen instead. I also feel that those of us who are mixed race are very marginalised in this debate - we're not black enough.

It sounds like madness doesn't it? And racist and frankly ridiculous.

I am mixed race brought up in a totally white family.

There were difficult times though...and although yes, part of me is indeed white, that wasn't the part which had to deal with the racism...and my family weren't up to much with it tbh.

Different era though...i imagine it would be a completely different experience for a child like me in a white family now.
However...when this issue came up in my family in the past, members of my own family thought it ok for a white family to adopt a mixed race or black child ...but not the other way around. So some had a problem or said 'of course not' when i said 'so it's also ok for a mixed race family to adopt a white child.

I don't know tbh...i go around in circles and bite my arse every few minutes.

Acinonyx, that whole 'black' enough thing is the most bogus piece of nonsense I've ever heard come out of anyone's lips. I am black, married to a white man, am not 'street' but speak more RP than anything else, I like jazz, classical, folk but not hip hop - to some people that would make me not 'black enough'.

'Black enough'. What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

I know a bunch of pan-African people who are rather militant (not sure about their views on adoption but I can guess) who were SO interested when I talked about my husband and son...until they met them! They were polite, but I saw that look in their eyes! That 'she's sold out' look!

Trouty, please don't bite your arse! So sorry that you had difficulty with racism and little family support. To my mind by adopting you it was a significant part of their responsibility to help you with every aspect of your life, including issues of racism. But don't you think that we all have one difficulty or another through our upbringing? If it's not being left alone to deal with racism as in your example, it would be something else.

As for your comments about black families adopting white children, NNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH! Sometimes people just need common sense slapped into them, don't they?

Yes.

People are people and children need a secure and happy home.

trout - I'd like to think it's different these days. Back then, you just didn't talk about it and hoped it would go away. My family felt I carried a terrible burden, like the mark of Cain.

A friend of mine in social services was minuting a meeting in London and it happened that they needed to place a white child and there were only non-white foster carers availbale. No-one suggested putting the white child with a non-white family.

My dh is white American - I get that 'sold out' look a lot too!

times have changed certianly on the prep course I went on, but then I was adopting intercountry so there was a high chance that DC was going to be a visibly different race to me. We did cover racism and how to promote positive role models etc. TBH I'm not sure how well you can prepare for something that you haven't experienced yourself. But in DS's case I have no doubt that being brought up by a single white mother is still infinitely preferable to life in an institution.

Perdita Harris is a well known transracial adoptee and campaigner but my understanding is that she campaigns for more support for such adoptees not a ban on interracial adoption as such.

Never heard of Perdita Harris, Kew, so thanks for that. I'll look her up some time.

To clarify what I meant about parents' responsibility, from what she's said, Acinonyx's parents clearly gave her absolutely no support at all when it came to the issue of racism. As far as I'm concerned it should be every parent's responsiblity to offer support for all aspects of their children's lives, including racism should that be an issue. Even if that parent can't feel the same things as the child it doesn't preclude them from offering support - which I'm sure you have done for your DS despite having different skin colours.

Btw I always shy away from talking about 'different races' as apparently race is a social, not a biological construction.

Hmmm, I can feel a new thread coming along!

Acinonyx - how do Yankees respond to you and your husband having different skin colours? We're always led to believe that Americans are less tolerant of black and white people mixing (yet I'm sure those same intolerant people just lurve the Cablinasian Tiger Woods! ). Is this true in your experience?