Desperate to adopt, but how?

[louisejohnson87]

I am 21 years old and have just found out that I have a disease of the uterus and will have to have a hysterectomy.

I am obviously devestated as I have only ever wanted to be a mummy.

After talking to my boyfriend we have agreed that we would like to adopt a baby.

The only problem is I have no idea baout how to go about this.

After searching the internet all I can find out is that babies are becoming hard to adopt, unless of course you are famous and then you cn have who ever you want!!!

If anyone can give me advice it would be greatly appreciated!!

Oh yeah I am from England, in case that makes a difference.

Hi

I'd like to add my commiserations on your situation. Adoption UK might be a good place to ask questions - it also means that they can advise on different agencies, not just social services.

Good luck - it's a long, hard struggle but it's worth it. Also hope the surgery etc goes well.

Hi Louise

So sorry to hear about your situation. I had to have a full hysterectomy 2 years ago & was left devasted as all my partner & I wanted was a family of our own. Last year we adopted our baby daughter who was 8 months old when we brought her home. The Adoption process took 16 months from start to finish & its the best thing we have done. If you are considering Adoption then call social services & ask to speak to a member of the Adoption team. Many people who are not familiar with the Adoption process think all
Childre/Babies awaiting Adoption have been born to drug addicts or have been neglected
or abused. Sadly this is true in some cases but not all of them, children awaiting for Adopters to come forward are in foster care for many reasons. Our daughter is prefect in every way & anyone who says it's impossible to feel the same amount of love for a child who is Adopted & a child who is your own birth child I can assure you this is not the case at all. My partner & I love our little girl more than life itself.
Good Luck in whatever you decide to do
A very happy Mummy xx

Hi

I adopted a white pefect healthy baby aged
7.5 months, after being approved we only waited 9 weeks. My partner & I are in our early 40:S . iT'S not true that all babies
under 1 year have been born to parents with mental heatlth issues or have drug related
problems. We made friennds withe several couples on our pre assesment training course
that we had to attend before we put our formal application to begin the adoption process & we were all matched with perfectly
healthy babies with no issues whatsoever.
Don't give up on your dream.
Good Luck Bev x

Bev - many congratulations on your new son/daughter. Can I ask which agency you used, as there are a lot of Mumsnetters who would be interested? I would also love to know how your agency has been so successful in obtaining so much information about birth families?

I am just asking in general terms - I am not asking you about your own child's background as I appreciate that is confidential.

sorry, just saw in your previouis post that you have a DD

I also forgot to welcome you to Mumsnet

Please do let us know about your agency as you could help many other prospective adopters

Hi Kristina

Thanks for your welcome . I am still getting the hang of this thread business !!!. We went
through social services & we live in Yorkshire. Do you have any children ??.
We were given the full background of our Daughters birth family, we felt that we were
fully informed with all the relevant information before we decided that our daughter was 100% the right child for us.
I understand that in different parts of the
UK babies/toddlers are not readily available for Adoption & it would appear that couples are often waiting for months/years before being matched with a child. We tried for 8 years to have children & the emotional strain & the heartache was very difficult.When I kiss my daughter goodnight as I put her in her cot I still cannot believe how lucky I feel & the love I have for her is like nothing else that I have ever experienced. Keep in touch
Bev xx

bev - its wonderful to hear that your adoption experince has been so positive so far.no wonder you are over the moon with your lovely daughter

I'm very interested to hear that Yorkshire has so many white healthy babies availabel for adoption...there seems to be such a shortage in the south east that prospective adopters can't even find an agency willing to assess them.

This will be food for thought for many. Especially those whose work situation would allow them to move house

Kristina - anotehr ICA adopter (Russia) was assessed by one of the YOrkshire areas for a seond child lcoally - said they would have no problem matching them with a child under two. I have no idea how they're getting on.

well Kc, dont you fancy Yorkshire? Its a beautiful place and great schools for DS1. you coudl get a lot more bang for your buck in the housing market

I would but for the fact that its not stuffed with Kazakhs and he has a lot of asian/oriental/Brtsh mixed race friends that look a bit like him. I'd strongly resist the idea of a sibling that was white!

Kew, I wouldn't give up on Yorkshire as a whole, in Leeds where I come from there are kids from lots of different backgrounds (and mixtures of those). West Yorkshire is a lot more diverse than North Yorkshire, as well as more affordable. Now probably isn't the best time to change jobs though, but there are lots of financial employers in Leeds. Don't know about South Yorkshire.

Bran is incorrect when she says that white couples can only adopt white children. Although SWs tend to look for couples of the same race first, there are lots of children placed in the UK recently with families of different races. We investigated this and were told it was possible, one situation that was likely was where for example siblings had fathers of different races.

Mixed race or black couples are fairly unlikely to consider a fully white child, even if they "come with" a mixed race sibling, and this was seen as a definite possibility for us.