An unreasonable moan about my new social worker? Or is she really just a pain?

[Kewcumber]

In their wisdom, my council has decided that a different social worker will write DS's court report for his UK readoption. So previous slightly flaky but lovely social worker who turned up and said "OOh, isn't he lovely, he's doing so well, you're doing so well, do you need anything? Bye." has been replaced by efficient highly experienced SW who leaves me feeling inadequate.

She comes for 60-90 mins at a time (last one used to be in and out in 20 mins unless we got chatting). Second appointment this week and she described him as having "special needs" - now I know all about the "all adopted children have special needs" and do agree to an extent, but I don't think she meant it that way - she was referring to his development (which everyone else thinks apart from his slow speech is absolutely normal). She is insisting I ask GP to do all the extra tests recommended in the BAAF children adopted from overseas medical leaflet despite the fact that we have been home for 15 months and there is patently obviously nothing wrong with him medically. She wants me to go on a special one day course on medical problems of children adopted from overseas - HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY MEDICAL PROBLEMS!

She wants me to ask GP for speech therapy now (aged 2.4 months) whereas I think waiting until his 30 month check will give him a little more time to see if his speech is genuinely delayed or if its just a little slow, and I can't beleive that the extra couple of months at his age will make much difference - will they even offer SALT at 2.4?

Her approach seems to be that every possible problem any child adopted from overseas has ever had is a probability in DS's case.

Right at the end she made a token "oh he is lovely and you are doing so well" comment just as she was leaving. I think its paragraph 11 on her checklist of what to cover with adoptive parents. I really don't need her to say that - I'm his mother, I feel like his mother, its way past the point where I need a social worker to point out the potential problems. I deal with the real ones as they arise.

Grumble mumble mumble - she's doing my head in.

Am I being unreasonable?

and absolutely no training but plenty of experience is very helpful in my book! Maybe not the whole picture but gives me an overview of what is the norm.

frogs - interesting theory I haven't heard that before - DS is right handed but not very strongly, often uses his left eg for eating. He was ambidextrous for an unusually long time (well, I'm told it was unusual).

I know a nice practice near you Kew but it's only one or two GPs, and they are very nice.

Email me at wtrolley at gmail dot com if you're interested, but I can understand why now might not be the time to confuse matters by switching GPs.

will do thanks. Maybe after the adoption is final. Is it fairly easy to change GP's these days or do you have to have a reason? Not sure if "I think my GP is an arrogant arse" is sufficient reason for a move?

Being ambidextrous is associated with all sorts of things -- not in any very direct way, I have a close friend who is still completely ambidextrous as an adult and has a First from Cambridge! It just that neural pathways are likely to be more complex in an ambidextrous or left-handed person, which may in turn affect the rate at which some higher-order skills are acquired.

I was familiar with the theory, but have found it interesting to see how true it has been of left-handed dd2, who is very articulate now but still does some slightly odd things wrt to word and syllable ordering, and has some mildly unusual features wrt to some aspects of motor processing.

Like my older two, dd2 never crawled or even rolled over, which all manner of people who should know better have told me is likely to 'cause problems' in later life.

Can sympathise Kew - had 3 yrs in total of post adoption visits (shouldn't have been this long but files got lost!)
We had slower and a very different pattern of speech acquisition with DD2 adopted at 17m than with DD1. Fortunately the SW let us make our own mind up about what was best. Saw HV (very supportive and helpful) and together we monitored situation and as I knew there would be a long delay before being seen did ask for a referral. We were seen sooner than expected! Got the standard hearing check at this appointment and I think this was reassuring although I didn't really have any major concerns. Was given info sheets and would agree that most of it was common sense but did pick up one or two useful tips. At 3 3 couldn't tell us much about her Christmas party but at Easter that year told us what she'd eaten, what everyone had been wearing all about the clown and what the party gift had been! By the time we had second assessment was pronounced within normal range in all sections of the test and above average in use of grammar - we were told this was common in children who had experienced more than one language. Now both at sec school and despite not finding much of it easy they both do fine in foreign languages!

in general though the whole business of having to be assessed again once you are a parent is tedious but I think you just have to grin and bear it and get what you can out of it. I have found being able to say that the children have "been through the system" here has had it's advantages when it has come to applications to schools and school appeals and so I would say probably worth gritting your teeth for!

I would agree with the get a medical opinion advice because I think that could put the matter to rest . Good Luck!