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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Wanting to adopt but ...

27 replies

Pegs11 · 26/05/2021 14:40

Hi, my husband and I are in our 40s, we spent our late 30s trying to conceive but couldn’t. We are now looking to adopt.

I understand the adoption organisations look very closely at your past, and at your current circumstances and personality. I am a bit concerned about a few aspects of my “being”, that I worry won’t be looked kindly on.

On the positive side, I am a very loving, supportive and nurturing person,. I have lots of sympathy, empathy, patience and understanding. I am fun, I engage well with children, but I am also sensible and good with boundaries. I think these things will work in my favour.

However, one thing I definitely do not have is boundless energy. Due to a medical condition, I can have days or sometimes weeks when I get very fatigued (although this is improving steadily thanks to new treatment I’m on).

Also, I am very emotional and easily moved to tears, always have been... I think this is because I’m an empath, which is both an advantage and a disadvantage in life!

Furthermore, I can suffer from anxiety at times, this can make me a bit withdrawn and tired, and sometimes I find it difficult to make decisions.

So... not the perfect parent. I do have a very good support network around me, and there are always family members who can help out. And I have a husband of course... although he works full time.

What do you think... how concerned will the panel be about my energy levels, my tendency to be emotional, and my occasional bouts of anxiety..?!

Is there a way I can frame these things as a positive?!

OP posts:
JL1141 · 28/05/2021 21:44

OP I can relate to the hormones causing havoc, I have been perimenopausal for a few years, and I think the worst is yet to come!

It isn't for everyone but I took up running (not huge distances, but quite regularly) and have found it has really helped.

I hope it all continues to go well with the medication! Good luck with the road to adoption.

flapjackfairy · 29/05/2021 10:56

Lots of great advice already given so wont repeat but in terms of fostering I just wanted to say that you can choose to be long term foster carers . So any child placed with you will be able to stay until adulthood (and beyond should that be needed ) .
We have a long term foster child who has been with us his whole life. He is 15 and we do not consider fosteringhim to be a job. He is as much a part of our family as our birth children and our adopted child.
So it could be a good fit for you and your husband .
Also we adopted our youngest foster child in our 50s . So your ages are not a big problem imo.
Anyway good luck x .

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