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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Delaying school start

30 replies

noisywoodpecker · 16/01/2021 11:56

Hi

Our child has been home with us for 4 months now and is doing really well. They are due to start school this September after just turning 4 in August. Social workers have been very reluctant to let her go to nursery and as a result she probably won’t be able to start now until April. We are quite concerned about her having very little time in nursery and very little socialisation with other children due to covid prior to starting school this coming September. We are thinking about delaying her school start until 2022 to give her more time developing her attachments with us and giving her more time in a nursery setting. Our dilemma is that she is very bright, articulate and sociable and there is currently nothing to suggest school will be an issue but I know school can sometimes be difficult as time goes on for adopted children and we want to give her the best possible chance. However we don’t want her to grow up feel any more different by delaying her school start. Has anyone else been in this position and got any advice?

Thank you!

OP posts:
percypetulant · 16/01/2021 12:55

Delay delay delay!

We did. Best thing.

percypetulant · 16/01/2021 12:56

When's her birthday, though, and where are you in the UK, as that will affect how easy it is. I'm happy to be pm'd. But, yes, delay if you can.

movingonup20 · 16/01/2021 13:07

Remember delaying can cause issues later eg sports teams/clubs/activities based on age. Also could cause an issue if you move. I'm an August birthday. My dd did miss all of reception though - she went to pt preschool abroad and i taught her the reception syllabus myself and it worked out fine going into year 1 - so a different option.

Finally a 16 year old might be kind of angry they still are at school when they could be at college, ditto 18 year old! I would take specialist advice from her social worker - did she not attend nursery prior to adoption? Could she get a place now as a vulnerable child?

Ted27 · 16/01/2021 13:22

@movingonup20

many, many 16 year olds are still at school. Many children will turn 16 during the course of year 11.
My son’s birthday is the end of July, he has always been annoyed at being one of the youngest in year, all his friends had turned 16 months before him.
This child will only just have turned 4 in September, apart from any other consideration it is very young to be in school.

@noisywoodpecker - legally she doesnt have to be in school until the term after her 5th birthday. If she goes in Sept she will be nearly a full year younger than many children in her class.

But I don’t think you need to make a decision now. Start her in nursery, see how she gets on,
If you have a school identified talk to the head/senco, see what options there are - delaying until Jan 2022 could be an option. Gives her some more time but will still be in the same school year.

percypetulant · 16/01/2021 13:34

Sorry, just re read properly, and see she's an August baby. Should be easy to defer.

Why would one month make a big difference to sports teams?

Most people turn 18 in full time education. Just not an issue.

Give her the extra time, she deserves it.

Weekends · 16/01/2021 15:06

Don't forget you don't have to delay for a whole school year - it could just be a term and that might make all the difference.
Starting in September, January, April, or the next September are all available options (or any time, it's just often helpful to start at the beginning of a new term).
You know your child best and what would work for them, but there's also flexi schooling to consider.
Being adopted, getting a school place at your chosen school whenever that works for you all isn't usually as difficult as it otherwise can be! Good luck!

percypetulant · 16/01/2021 15:11

If she's summer born, delaying for the full year may be better, as she doesn't miss anything starting in reception at compulsory school age.

Jellycatspyjamas · 16/01/2021 15:50

My son is a January baby so in Scotland could go in august after turning 4 or August after turning 5. We deferred him and it absolutely was the right decision - he was placed with us aged 4 and the extra year gave him much needed time to adjust to his new family. He’s 8 now and ahead of his age academically so it’s fine no harm whatsoever. I’d defer entry into formal education for as long as possible to give time to settle emotionally.

noisywoodpecker · 16/01/2021 17:24

Thank you everyone. The advice is really useful. Great to hear from adopters who have also deferred school entry and it’s worked well for them. I think we’re edging towards delaying until September 2022, just have to hope the SWs agree to this!

OP posts:
Ted27 · 16/01/2021 17:50

@noisywoodpecker
Presumably you will have your adoption order in the next few months? It will be your decision, nothing to do with SWs

noisywoodpecker · 16/01/2021 19:33

We hope we will have the order soon. The court process seems to be slightly delayed due to covid so no guarantee we will have it before needing to make the decision but fingers crossed Smile

OP posts:
percypetulant · 16/01/2021 19:40

Our SW wrote to support the delay, even though we were years post adoption order. I would think most SWs would see the benefit of this. However, I would be very mindful of the deadline for application, is it not soon?

dimples76 · 16/01/2021 20:44

I delayed my June born son's school start too. Definitely the right decision for us. There is a variety of attitudes from LAs about deferring. I would recommend taking a look at the Flexible Admissions for Summerborns group (website and Facebook).

Tishtash2teeth · 19/01/2021 03:07

Our son was in a similar position - we seriously considered delaying his start, but he too was bright band articulate so we went ahead. We have regretted it ever since. If we had our time again we would definitely fight to defer him a year

idontfeelwelltoday · 19/01/2021 03:41

Delay! I have just got approval for my July 17 son to start Sep 22 - he is seriously speech delayed and developmentally behind, and missed a big chunk of nursery over the first wave and even now we're not sending him as cases too high in the area. However, I noticed a huge progress when he attended continuously over the autumn, it's really important.

Deadline for Sep 21 was last Friday, some LAs want you to apply normally and then withdraw, but legally there is no deadline for requesting an out of cohort reception start so you still have one year. Start talking to schools now. If community schools, decision is up to the Council but it might happen that Head sits in the panel (that was apparently my case); if faith schools or academies, you'll need separate agreements. The process is postcode dependent and made hard on purpose, but I managed as a foreigner so it can be done.
In your case, adoption is a strong argument, use it!

noisywoodpecker · 19/01/2021 17:10

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. We have applied for schools but think we will wait and see how she gets on at nursery, hopefully she will be able to attend soon. I think at the moment we are thinking delaying might be the best option so will talk with the schools and see what they have to say.

OP posts:
Ted27 · 19/01/2021 20:46

@noisywoodpecker

that sounds like a sensible plan - how the schools respond to you will of course be an excellent indication of how supportive they will be in the long term

Yolande7 · 19/01/2021 23:01

Mine went in at the correct time, but we have just changed educational systems and they now redo a year. It was the best decision ever! My children were doing fine academically, but just did not feel comfortable about boyfriends, alcohol, dressing like a goth and other teenage stuff. They found it all scary. By redoing the year, they are no longer playing catch up all the time but can mature at their own speed. I think they are also less at risk for bullying. I was delayed as a child for family reasons and it has never bothered me. I would definitely delay too.

PicaK · 22/01/2021 20:10

Just to say that you need to get permission from the head and la to delay - it's not up to the social workers.
What is the school like? You had your choice of schools so did you pick and apply for this one specifically?
If your daughter needs help then the school will need 3 terms of evidence to maximise their chance of ehcp, sen payments. One reason for getting into a preschool/nursery that will record that evidence and works well with the school you have applied for.
If the child isn't on the school roll by the census date the school doesn't get any standard funding for your child. The Head may welcome a shorter week etc.
Delaying often means they enter into Y1 not into EYFS. Reception.
Have you looked at the eyfs curriculum - it's very much based around play so reception isn't much different to nursery for rising 5s.
Collaborate with the school before you even get there is my advice.
Also request the last 2 years of governor minutes and see how often sen/lac comes up.

percypetulant · 22/01/2021 20:14

Delaying actually doesn't often mean straight into year one at all, the head would have to justify why that was best for the child, and it usually isn't.

Yes, you need head/LA permission. Given that delaying may save them multiple headaches of child not coping, they can be sensible about it.

Reception isn't much different from nursery. However, year one is a big jump, and delaying means they get that later.

Delaying to start in reception was very simple for us, and just not a problem at all, and very wise.

HenryHorse1 · 07/02/2021 20:40

Delay Delay Delay!!

Same situation, august born, best thing we did. Aside from the 'educational perspective', the benefits of having that extra year to their confidence and resilience is so worthwhile!

Italiangreyhound · 10/02/2021 00:39

"Has anyone else been in this position and got any advice?"

I think my situation is the same as yours but I'll tell you how it went for me.

Ds came to us at 3 nearly 4 in late spring almost 7 years ago. We are in England.

Da was due to turn 4 in the summer and a few days later school expected him to start in Fundation.

I was not happy about this and wanted him to delay by a year and start Foundation at age 5. Kiss do not need to be in school until the term after they turn 5 (unless home schooled of course).

Initially, school seemed open but in the end all they would offer was if he started at 5 he would go straight into Year 1.

We arranged a meeting with adoption Ed psych. She suggested he start part-time later and then go full time before end of Foundation.

Thus is. What we ended up doing. He joined part time in March and after the half term in May he went full time. It meant he had nearly a year at home before starting.

He is very bright and it all worked well for him. I did not want him to go straight into Year 1.

School implied (possibly wrongly) if he defered a year that when he went up and to secondary school they may not respect the cohort and may jump him up a year.

It worked ok for him. I know two friends with kids in his current year and he has managed well. At the time it was hugely stressful but in the end we took Ed psych's advice. And all has been fine.

This bass on my son and may not be good advice for you.

HenryHorse1 · 10/02/2021 08:26

I deferred my august born son, he started reception aged 5. I agreed this plan (and got it in writing!) with the headteacher and health professionals a while before he was due to start. In terms of secondary school, the school cannot make them skip a year, they will stay with their cohort. To skip a year the school have to prove it’s in the child’s best interests. How can they ever prove that skipping a year of education would be in a child’s best interests?

percypetulant · 10/02/2021 09:16

That's it, at transfer to secondary they have to show it's in the child's best interests to be moved cohort, not just that they want to. The legislation re Y1 Vs YR did change relatively recently, Italian, I wonder if your son was affected by that? You can definitely request YR, and again the school has to show it's in your child's best interests to miss that year... Unlikely!

idontfeelwelltoday · 10/02/2021 14:32

For secondary, see the government guidance from last September

www.gov.uk/government/publications/summer-born-children-school-admission

in particular page 8

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