Why are baby’s removed at birth

[Kmav72]

Why are baby’s took from hospital at birth and later placed for adoption?
Mother has no previous children to have any understanding behind this. Dad does, but still has contact with older child regularly as older child lives with his mother (child’s grandmother). So I don’t feel dad is the problem.

I’m curious about this because the child that was adopted is my child’s half sibling (from dad). We have no contact with dad or dads family at all to get answers.

OP in adoption, there are many different views about contact, and each adopter has their own opinions and their own way of looking at things. You will get subjective opinions here, but it won't help you judge how the adopters in this situation will feel. This is why I have recommended Family Rights Group as their advice will be objective and more tailored to your situation. Good luck!

And I recommend the LA, rather than a "rights group".

I’m sure if you’re child had/has siblings you’d try at least to maintain contact?

Maybe, maybe not. It totally depends on the circumstances. My D.C. have two other siblings one older and one younger. They don’t have contact with either sibling for different reasons, both decisions made in their best interests.

There are many reasons why babies are removed at birth, you have no right to information in this case. I’d continue your discussion with the local authority and take things from there - the SW involved are likely to take a view on it and will give you a sense of how open the child’s parents are to contact.

Thank you all.

Oh I see, that’s where I’ve miss understood. I was under the impression that contact was always encouraged if this was safe to do so.

It is encouraged, but usually discussed and agreed at the time of placement and parents don’t need to agree especially if the adoption order is granted. The child’s social worker will have a view on contact and how likely the parents are to agree to it.

If a mother takes drugs and alcohol throughout pregnancy the baby can be born a drug addict and alcohol dependent. These babies have a cry/scream like no other and if mother does not want to keep child or shows indifference towards it that is one reason why it could be taken at birth for adoption.

I did not know about the adoption until a year ago. I was told by third party that this child was adopted, but nobody knew reasons. So this couldn’t of been made at the same time as the order.

I don’t know birth mother or family personally and I wouldn’t like to assume, but after looking into reasoning which is possible for birth removal either way this baby looks to have been saved, and I’d imagine happy and thriving with the new family.

I wouldn't give any thought to any conjecture over why the child was removed. "Saved" doesn't tend to be a helpful concept in adoption.

My advice is to contact the LA. They will be able to advise. And forget your own curiosities, this isn't your story.

@percypetulant Family Rights Group was founded in 1974 by social workers, lawyers and families, back at a time when there were many problems around child protection and how children were treated in care, and it was instrumental in introducing the involvement of the law courts in relation to child protection, which has been an overwhelmingly positive thing (not perfect, but better!). It has evolved since then - many families with child protection involvment do not know how to get help, do not fully understand what is going on or what is likely to happen, do not have the education or other means to get advice about what is happening or what they can do to turn things around, how to work with the process, what is likely to happen, how to how to maintain links with removed children, how best to work with the system etc etc etc etc etc - and the Family Rights Group is an organisation that seeks to provide information. AFAIK it is recognised widely as a really good organisation that plugs a need - though it isn't enough. It is something outside your experience and I think you should read into it a bit more and give it a bit more consideration before advising people away from it! Though having said that, OP, I just googled it and it looks like it might not be able to give individual advice - I don't know. I do think that you need some objective advice here and so try to seek that out.

And forget your own curiosities, this isn't your story I do think that a half sibling is a part of the OP's child's story.

@percypetulant the website says for example "We know from our advice service that parents are struggling to get the early help they need to stop problems escalating into a crisis". This appears to be correct from every reporting source I know of. The FRG work to try to bring about change for the better. I cannot think why you would be opposed to it.

OP the website also says Funding constraints mean our advice service is unable to directly advise everyone who tries to contact us but there is a helpline, the number on each webpage, it might well be that if you try that and have a good look at their website you will be able to find more information which will help you understand the situation.

The reason this child was adopted is not their sibling's story/business, either. It's theirs. The reason doesn't affect OP's child at all, the way she tells it. So it's pure nosiness.

The FRG look a useful organisation in many situations. I don't think they'll be the most helpful to OP, I think that will be the LA.

These siblings share genetics. But OP's child hasn't been parented by the adopted child and their shared parent, and they share no contact with family. Literally, all they share is the same amount of genetic code as uncle/niece. I think while it's nice OP wishes to open the door, I recommend OP chills out, reduces her curiosity and mental/emotional investment, and just goes with what the LA/SWs advise.

@thismightnotbesight thank you for the information 🙂

@percypetulant as stated, I have contacted the LA and waiting on updates.
I’m not trying to be nosey, I just wanted to try and understand.

I think some of the responses you have had on here aren't very fair. Picking at particular words you use and calling you nosey. By the sounds of it you are coming from a place of no knowledge of adoption to trying to learn and understand. You can't be expected to get the nuances of acceptable language etc. right away.

It is perfectly normal to want to understand what situations may lead to the removal of a newborn baby, or any child. Every adult starting the adoption journey spends time learning about this, it even forms part of training so I don't judge you for asking on an internet forum. I didn't get the impression you had any intention of asking for the specific details of this babys situation from their social worker, adopted parents or anyone else involved (which would be crossing a line and isn't your place to know). It's natural for you wonder about specifics but you do have to accept that you can't know.

There are any number of reasons, most of which have already been noted. These cases can be straightforward or very complex, every child's situation will be different. A whole team of people will have concluded that the child could not be adequately cared for.

I hope you get some clarity on contact, whatever the outcome is.

I think some of the responses you have had on here aren't very fair. Picking at particular words you use and calling you nosey.

I think everyone has had a tough year but I 'd hate to see the supportive tone of this board change and I think a lot of threads seem a little techier lately. I'm sure I'm as guilty as any.

OP, I doubt you'll ever know why the child was removed. I would take anything you hear from the BPs with a huge pinch of salt. I wonder whether you are correct about this being the mother's first child because having harmed a previous child would probably be the most common reason for adoptions to proceed so quickly- though there are many others.

Regardless I think most adopters would be feel positively about annual letterbox contact with a half sibling. You might want to reassure them that you have no contact with their child's BPs and that you will treat information given to you as confidential. It sounds like you've really thought these issues through.

Keep in mind that SS contact departments can be very pot luck because urgent issues often pull staff away. You often have to chase to get the contact agreement put in place and chase again to make sure letters are forwarded.

Thank you both. I was never asking for the story I am aware this is confidential and I don’t understand where this come across. I was just wondering why removing at birth would happen, by getting an understanding as I didn’t think this was a decision made that soon.
I’ve never had SS involvement or knowledge of adoption so I was genuinely confused.

At the moment, I’ve sent one email to ad adoption worker in the LA, with details of child and birth parents, I’ve also stated there’s never been contact with my child and his dad or dads family at all, ever. I asked how information is kept confidential as I would not like my information given to birth parents if they had any reason to know about me looking into this.
I sent in about 2 paragraphs based on the situation (relationship with my child and the adoptive child, no contact with birth family, asked what sort of contact I’d be looking at for the children if this was agreed, if not was there options to leave information for the future). I was told enquires would be made and someone would then contact me with update, this was over a week ago now. I was just looking at what to expect, and to understand a bit more in the meantime😊

I was told enquires would be made and someone would then contact me with update, this was over a week ago now

I’m not sure what you’re expecting in terms of timescales but I’d expect it to take quite a while to get back to you - social workers are up to their eyes at the moment, and staff are being redeployed to cover duty teams etc. Don’t be afraid to chase them up in a few weeks and don’t read anything in to it if it takes them a while.

@Kmav72 I'm so sorry this seems pretty tough. My son is adopted, he is 10 now. If he had a sibling out there somewhere I would definitely want to know.

The thing that stood out for me is "My child has no contact with dad as this was dads choice, he has always had access to contact me and he has chose not to" Which makes me wonder if the dad did want contact with your son, then that may happen in future and if you had on-going contact, not via letterbox, with the family of the other child, this could be difficult, potentially.

I've not seen your other thread.

I agree with thismightnotbesight

"You will get subjective opinions here, but it won't help you judge how the adopters in this situation will feel."

Kmav72 "I was told by third party that this child was adopted, but nobody knew reasons."

Do you know for sure this is your child's father's child? I am sorry to have any doubts but I just wonder how you know third party has got it all correct?

@Italiangreyhound
Thank you. I don’t feel dad would want contact in the future, he’s had enough time to change his mind, his family all know and have never been bothered.
My child and the adoptive sibling are very close in age (dad had birth mum pregnant within a month after we split)
If for instant when my child was teenage years and decided himself he was to search for contact with dad, whats to say the adoptive child couldn’t and wouldn’t do the same, social media is quite easy to find them on. I think with them being close in age this is very likely to happen on both sides roughly the same time. However, with dad not being bothered all this time, I don’t think that would change at all.

Third party is a old friend of mine, from when I was with dad, she asked me why I didn’t take on the adopted sibling, this was when I become aware. The child has dads surname, and looks very much like dad and the older sibling (from the photo I seen on social media over a year ago)

i totally agree with percypetulant "I recommend the LA, rather than a "rights group"."

@Italiangreyhound the Family Rights Group isn't a "rights group"! It is more akin to a citizens advice bureau and has been around since the 1970s!

I understand your curiosity. After all, your child is a birth half sibling and will have his or her own questions at some point. Plus, it is in the adopted child's best interest to know about your existence, even if you don't have contact.

I disagree that you have no relationship to this child. You have no LEGAL relationship and no legal rights, but you belong to the child's birth family. I hope the LA will be able to help you.

thismightnotbesight "the Family Rights Group isn't a "rights group"! It is more akin to a citizens advice bureau and has been around since the 1970s!"

Does this group have access to information about the child in question, about letterbox etc? If so then fine. They may well be able to provide general information.

But my understanding is that that kind of information would only be held by the local or county authority, which arranged the adoption. If I am wrong then of course I am happy to be proved wrong.

It is called 'the Family Rights Group' so it's a rights group, isn't it?

The front page of their website doesn't suggest it is a group that deals majorly with situations like the OP's but again I am happy to be wrong.

There used to be a group called 'after adoption', which I think may have been really useful but I am not sure they are still running,

thismightnotbesight I don't know about the 'Family Rights Group' personally so if you think it can help you OP, take a look at their website.