Does anyone have experience of reception kids in ARMS/ARK type units?

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To give some background. My son is 4. He was adopted at 6 months. He was exposed to domestic violence and drugs in utero. He sometimes struggles with social concepts etc and fine motor skills. Gross motor skills are fab- rides a bike with no stabilisers, climbs skilfully, does parkour style stuff. We have had three incident a this week which were all relating to looking at another child’s private parts/ playing doctor/ trying to look up a skirt/ following other kids into the toilet cubicle etc. We have never had these types of incidents with his sibling or if we ever have we have kept it gentle and used the PANTS guide. Anyway due to behaviour this week they want him to go into the Additionally resources mainstream unit attached to the school for extra observations potentially resulting in him going there permanently. It has all happened really fast. I just want to get some advice on what the units are like. Also, a bit of a handhold.

Agree with all the others re being ‘that’ parent. There was a really good 2 page visual guide to supporting adopted kids in class that I found online a few years ago. I gave it (several times over the years to different teachers) and it helped some of them to get it. I’ve just looked online and can’t find the exact thing but found this useful info from Oxfordshire LA I think which might be worth giving to school if they are in any way receptive to learning how they can best support you son (and tbh, if they’re not receptive I really would consider a different school, 7 years is a long time to battle a school that doesn’t want to ‘get it’) Best of luck

Sound very much like secondary effect's of FASD is very difficult. Will have no consequence of his actions or other childrens feelings. And will remember very little, very little of his actions., Amusing too other kids in a group get's lots of laugh's, consequence of FASD Children becoming the class clown , our son was the same. Attached booklet written for us explains how FASD Children conceive their world. When parenting a FASD Child have too understand how they act and think too enable correct interventions. Same was experienced by our son at this age, File will not download go too Webb search then down load " Building educational success for pupils with FASD Foetal alcohol spectrum disorders by Mary M Cunningham. Have lectured at hospitals in the UK with her is very good.

Schools should have no excuse with FASD learning all is on line curtesy of SEND and DofE on Complex needs Teacher training Webb. Can be viewed has video's of children with FASD and a parent Adoptive mum of 3 FASD Children who is also a consultant social worker. see at www.complexneeds.org. View Mo-dual 4.3 Insight too neuroscience, mo dual 4.3., resource 17. MUST REMENBER FASD is an umbrella term all children are effected with some form differently of secondary needs many detailed in this SEND Webb, lots are effected mildly as the window of opportunity for FASD children is 0 too 7 with access too Early therapeutics most will have a near normal life. mine are age over 30 now would be seen as normal but still have FAS FASD.

Just enter on Webb if can not down load.

@fasparent You and I could probably ramble on for hours about FASD.
Generally speaking, and not wanting to hijack this thread, but pre-natal drug use should always be an indicator for alcohol use. How do I know this? I worked for over a decade in the substance misuse field as a nurse and only ever came across a handful of people using drugs and consistently testing negative for alcohol. Also this is what current research suggests. The UK is really behind with this.
The two are like bread and butter unfortunately.
The latest research coming out indicated FASD should always be considered for LAC/previous LAC children. Take a look at the resources on the FASD Hub Scotland and NOFAS UK. Further NICE guidance is being released next year.
OP- please look into this. My son was offered regular therapy/theraplay and for us at least it did make thinks considerably worse before we obtained FASD diagnosis.

Absolutely if birth mum used drugs the assumption should be that she also drank, I can’t think of a family I’ve worked with where alcohol wasn’t comorbid with drugs.

Agree with you Niffler we were a group of ADOPTEE PARENTS AND FOSTER CARERS We engaged with the best we could to focus on education and interventions with all the best minds we could find engaging in conferences and research were around way before NOFAS hosted and facilitated their very first Large conference's here in the UK all they did was duplicate everything we did at the time, We worked with Sir Alex Guillmore of BMA they produced a excellent Guide for professionals., of course all the professionals get the kudos all donkey work done by parents such as on these pages. We as an Org (our CEO) was awarded an MBE for services to FASD and Education. All are now retired JOB DONE biggest problem on the road was charity's copying work done offering FASD courses one week then calling themselves trainer's where as FE Level 3 FASD course is 12 months study. Have sat down with many a Post Graduate helping them through we were also verifiers for study. Members of NICE, NHS Networks, NHS Stakeholder partners. NHS Innovation and New practices members .

@fasparent I totally hear you! 😊

Just an update for anyone interested, I have had a long conversation with the teacher who is in charge of the ARMS unit class. We talked about her observations of my boy in reception and also what he was like when he went for a visit to her class with another boy from reception. I am feeling so much happier, made sure I was firm about my points and what I believed was best. She totally understood what I was saying and agreed they were only going to do sessions to help Charlie to acclimatise to reception as he finds it overwhelming. She outright said he wasn’t happy and understood my concerns. She was talking my language if you know what I mean- understood about feeling safe, we touched on FASD and trauma. I came away really confident that she knows what she is talking about.
He is going to join in on Mondays for feelings time and Lego theraplay sessions and time on a Friday. He was buzzing when he came out of school, they have a therapy dog in the class he went to. He was genuinely pleased to talk about it.
Obviously, this is a more reassuring start, but I won’t forget my tiger Mam instincts.

That sounds really good, OP. I was going to say also that in relation to interfering with the running of the class, the school also has a responsibility to all the other children, and the parents of the girl whose skirt he tried to look up would probably also be insisting that their child is protected.

I was also going to say that your dc showing such care towards you is really touching, and like you say a really good sign in relation to empathy.

Please can I just ask, when you referred to telling the school about therapeutic techniques, what particular things did you suggest they do with your dc?

And finally, just about PANTS, I saw the comment upthread about it being abstract. In case this is of interest, many parents I know teach the rule to their dc from about 2 years, and often reiterate it, in a very plain simple way - pointing to the area covered by the nappy or pants and saying "This is private and no one is allowed to touch this area, ever, other than me [and.. ] and if anyone does touch you it means they don't know the rule yet and then all you need to do is tell me straightaway and I will make sure the rule is explained to them, and the same applies to you, you are not allowed to touch anyone else in this area. Ok?" A 4 year old child I know told their mother that someone had touched them because of knowing the PANTS rule, and so it seems knowing the rules is a really positive thing in relation to working against abuse happening, and it can be explained in very clear not abstract terms, and not in a way which frightens the child.

@Pumpkinrelish the types of thing I talked about was naming a feeling “I wonder if you have done xyz because you are feeling frustrated that they weren’t playing the game you suggested.”
If he starts to get worked up he forgets his inside voice. So I talked about things l use like.. wow that’s a massive noise, can you now make a teeny tiny noise?...I can see you would like my attention, as soon as you stop screaming I will talk to you but the noise is making my ears shake.
Making empathetic commentary (which I do a lot) I can see you are finding this difficult.
That over praising is not a good idea with Charlie- things like “that’s interesting what is the blue section?”
Stuff like that. I didn’t bombard them with stuff. I just gave a few techniques and specific examples how to get the best out of him, when he might need his marble maze to fiddle with etc.

And I know they will have to have things in place to keep the other kids safe in case anyone complains. I had no issue with this, it was the way it was handled- it just drew loads of attention to him. So he learnt that the adults in reception flap about and call the dept head when he tries to look at private parts. He started to think he wasn’t safe, so obviously he was just going to keep doing it.

I understand what you are saying, in relation to naming the feeling, and it sounds as though that is exactly the approach the ARMS unit is taking, so you are probably pleased about that? It might be that the approach works 1:1 but not in a class full of children. I hope that things continue to go well in ARMS!

Yes I am pleased about him going to the two sessions. I can totally understand and appreciate that it may not be feasible in a class full of kids, but they were really positive when we went to look around and talked to them before starting school. The assured us he would be supported.

Glad to hear things are looking more positive!