What's best practice with introducing grandparents, etc?

[Rainatnight]

We start intros with our 7 month old LO next month. By the time she actually comes home, she'll be more like 8 months.

As you can imagine, grandparents (esp on my side, where she is the first) are desperate to see her.

They don't live in this country so would have to come for a weekend, though wouldn't stay with us, and would completely understand only coming for short visits.

I want to put her best interests first and fend them off until the right time.

So my question is - what's the right time? And does anyone have any links to good research or anything on this? (That would play very well with my DM )

I also know that when they do visit, we'd still be funnelling, so very happy with all that. Just don't know when it's OK for them to come...

Thanks very much

at 11 months my DS was traumatised by the handover to me (though I didn't recognise it at the time, it's clear to see from the photos with hindsight) wouldn't make eye contact, wouldn't be cuddled etc it took 4 or 5 weeks to get to the point that he relaxed enough with me to even start bnding I now realise. He met my mum after a month and was the same with her - no eye contact, hated being held etc and it took a couple weeks of daily short contact between them for him to relax with her.

The change from FC is likely to be massively scary and unsettling even for an 8 month old, even if they seem sociable and relaxed at FC's. I'd hold off with full on GP's staying with you as long as possible.

One month is nothing - and frankly the thought of having to have someone staying with me after a month would have filled me with horror!

I think in the short term (although better obviously in the long/medium term) a child that has been with FC's since birth may well react worse to the change than a child like DS who had become used to a revolving door or carers.

There's no way of knowing how any of you will deal with it so I'd be reluctant to agree a date to visit now. If you go back and read old threads, I can;t tell you how many pleas for help about how parents don;t feel bonded/what a disaster it all is etc there are after about 3-4 weeks - can;t imagine having GP's staying will help at that point!

Sorry just spotted that they wouldn;t be staying with you - which does make things easier.