"You're very lucky cos everyone's accepted her."

[JustHappy3]

Gnash, gnash of teeth!!
Thank you older female relative for your munificence. I see it's obviously not occured to you that had you "not accepted" her you wouldn't have seen any of us again. But smile and wave, smile and wave.

We haven't had a daft-shit-that-people-say thread for a while. Anyone got any recent corkers? Or old ones that still rankle.

It is hard to keep battling the system to get what our children need isnt it?
Sorry you have been a bit down and hope good times round the corner now that you have secured funding for your ds.
I dont know how you do it 2old you really are an inspiration and yes i would love to make use pf your enormous table some time . I will bring the cake. Lol

Wow, some people have had some appalling comments.

I've been very lucky and no one has said anything like this (to my face).

2old2beamum some people just do not understand.

The closet I have come is reminding people (who have never said it nastily) that he is my own, yes, he also has a birth family but he is also our own.

Like Italian, we have had the "didn't you want another of your own?" type comments. We were once asked "what is wrong with DD so that her mother had to give her up?" - I think word of the response we gave got round and we were never asked such a ridiculous thing again...

to 2Old and others who have had to deal with dickishness

We had the 'giving up' comment but in the context of 'oh he's so adorable how could she have given him away?' When she didn't, he was placed for adoption by social services and she was heart broken by it

The amount of times I've had to correct my OWN mother referring to his BM as his 'real mother' too...

kierenthecommunity , this phrase, 'real mother/father' is so buried in the thoughts of people. I think it is really when we parent as non-bio parents we see how very much we are real parents to our beloved children. I am sure your mum will see this, but 'real' mum etc is almost like a replacement for 'birth' mum, I hope, and am sure, she does not really mean it.

On the use of the word "real" -

Said by family friend to doting adoptive Grandma when her daughter, ie adopted child's Aunt, announced her pregnancy: "I bet you're really excited you're finally going to have a real grandchild!"

Luckily Grandma had her wits about her and told her insensitive friend in no uncertain terms that she already had a real grandchild thank-you very much and the new baby would be a second grandchild.

Good for her. I do hate the idea that our children are not real!! It seems even ruder that way round, although it is the other side of the same coin!

We had the "so, she just didn't want her any more?"
No! She couldn't provide adequate care and so SS stepped in.
"So she just gave her up?"
No! She didn't get a choice!

We've had several comments but the one that sticks in the mind when an aunt found out LO's birthday was close to Christmas, "oh know, I would have asked for one with a better birthday, can you choose a different date?"

Yes we've had the "I don't understand how she could give her up?" comments - repeatedly from the same person. Despite making it very clear birth mum opposed it all the way.
I'm also tired with explaining that we love her AND she's adopted so yes we will be telling her about it ... not that we love her DESPITE her being adopted which is what you really mean when you're going on about how she's one of the family now.

trying2keepcalm
I am loving this thread in a quirky way

Have had similar comments but still most angry with MYSELF for the awful response I gave to someone who asked me this week if my older (birth) daughter is my "AD's sister.. " It caught me unexpectedly, as the question was so badly phrased (of course they are sisters, despite not being blood related).

I panicked and heard myself blurting out "no she's (BD) mine"

Oh I am still kicking myself. WHY did I say that?

Don't kick yourself Steve - sometimes it's hard to find the right words to a nosey question.

trying2keepcalm what a loon your relative is! Hope you said something witty! But I bet like most of us you were stumped for words.

Steve don't worry we all say silly things now and again. I know I do!!