Have you adopted a child from another ethnicity?

[Choccyjules]

I'd love to hear from MNers who have personal experience of adopting a child who doesn't share their ethnicity.

DH and I are currently thinking seriously about two possible matches and neither child is from our 'racial grouping' or whatever the current term is. I have looked on the interweb and overwhelmingly find negative reports, studies, opinions that despite the government loosening the rules on this, it's not good for the children in the long-term. I have also found an article in the Daily Fail from 2011 written by a black adoptee of white parents who disagrees with this majority (at least in the written media) opinion.

Our precise questions at the moment are:

Does being the only person in a family of four who is clearly from a different ethnicity always mean emotional and or self-esteem issues growing-up?

Does the fact that it will always be obvious wherever we go that we are not the usual 'family unit' actually matter? Ie it can't be 'hidden' that a child is adopted, even for a few hours. Not that we would be hiding it but we have been told we would never be anonymous, in the crowd, so to speak. How does that affect the AC?

Anything anyone can add would be most useful and please PM if you'd rather.

Our SW says that with good post-adoption work and parenting in a way which addresses issues and works with boosting the child's self-esteem, it shouldn't be a problem. She is from an ethnic minority so we feel she has extra life experience herself to draw from and she hasn't steered us away from this.

We are aware our DD will need extra preparation, she is fairly young and feeling her way through issues of race herself, though fortunately for her own life experience, she has grown up in a very diverse local area. We are also aware this adds an extra element to her childhood, ie she may encounter racism directed at her new sibling or the family and have to deal with it.

Wow, long post. Sorry folks.

I knew someone who adopted a sibling group from a long term foster care placement with an Indian family. The children and the adopter were all white UK, but she had to learn some Gujarati, Indian cooking etc in order to smooth their transition.

I've been thinking about you all day Chocy and your possible matches! So bloomin curious now.

We considered a child of a different ethnicity and I firmly believe it is really which match is right not just the question of the ethnicity. Good luck.

Absolutely it is.

I wanted to discuss the issues as I am aware there are some and didn't want to take on a child if it wasn't in their best interests. This place is great for hearing others' thoughts and experiences.

I am now off to find my old thread on age-gaps as that was very helpful and that's another factor (as you know cos I PMed you )

Have spent some time digesting what everyone said on here. The main points as I see them:

The child should be 'right' for us whatever the heritage/age/gender etc. I fully agree but was aware that I could create problems for a child if they were plonked into a family of a different heritage.

The SW must have a reason to offer this child to us. That's complex as we found the child in question first, however their SW and our SW have no issues with the heritage question. I don't yet have all the information but would assume from what I know that no-one appropriate and of the same heritage could be found for them.

Atm we are moving forward with the two children, getting fuller information in order to find out whether either are 'our' child.