I feel so sad and distraught that I have been given Valium by my GP. We started our 'bridging' week and I was a bit concerned about the behaviour of the child we were being placed with. The week itself was exhausting particularly as she would not do as she was told without being spoken to very loudly by the foster mother (she is 3 years old). Exhausted and worried and very tearful but feeling unable to really voice my concern and taking in the message that she would calm down in time we continued the bridging. The day before hand over however I really cracked breaking down I did not feel I could take this child who I felt would need more control than I would be able to give her and for her own good I made the agonising decision to stop things before she moved in.
I cannot describe the pain this is causing me and my DH. So due to the fact that I pulled out at a late stage and the fact that I have a history of anxiety/depression they are now saying we cannot have another child. I asked if they would consider an older child but was told that they often have more severe problems and no they would not consider it. My DH has cleared our house of all child. My message is be so so careful of the type of child you consent to care for and if you have a history of anxiety or depression think very carefully about whether you are up to dealing with these children.