letterbox feelings.

[kmarie100]

Hi all,
I've sent our first letter to birth family and I'm now awaiting a reply. Getting quite nervous about it and how I will feel when/if it comes. Just wondered how everyone else feels when you receive the letters and how your little ones respond. Also does anyone know how common it is not to receive a reply?

I would say that I had to wait nearly a week to collect my letter because the appointment they originally offered clashed with a hospital appointment from an op. So an extra 8 days was added there. It's not their fault nor my fault (especially as I had no idea when to expect it so couldnt even factor that in as a possiblity)

I am given a window of a month to write back from when the letter is due from the parents. Mine is the tenth of a month so is due by the tenth of the following month.

It unfortunately does take time and sometimes contact letters feel as if they get overlooked

We get sporadic letters, which is very unhelpful. DD has a half sibling in FC whose carers don't bother to write at all, despite the letterbox agreement, which makes us sad.

We have said no to "mummy" or "mummy x" cards, in part at this point for the sake of our son.

We are feeling, as you can probably tell, a bit glum about letterbox at the moment - we are persevering because we don't want to be the ones who have broken contact, but not sure for how much longer, as we are struggling to see the benefits for DD right now.

We had issues initially, with liberal use of mummy and daddy. CAFIS sent the letters back to the birth oarents with advice on how to write appropriately. Initially the birth oarents were reluctant to change the letters but, I think, with a bit of time, they came to realise that it would cause confusion for the child and reworded the letter. I am really grateful that they made that decision, and it means that the letterbox contact can be a more positive experience. I take great care and time in putting together the annual letter - and I will encourage my son to do the same when he's old enough - and I want it to be a long-lasting arrangement. It needs to be "right" for all concerned, but most particularly for the child.