Sleeping issues - 2 year old

[Hels20]

Not sure whether to post this here, or in the sleeping section.

DS has been with us for almost 2 months. He is generally, a very happy child. He is just over 2.5 years old and is an only child.

He was removed late one evening from BM and subsequently lived with a brilliant foster family - although they said that his sleeping was always bad. Maybe because of his background/circumstances of his removal.

Anyway, when he moved in with us, after a couple of unsettled nights, amazingly, he slept right through. DH and I couldn't believe our luck (I just feel dreadful if I have not had enough sleep and also really struggle to go back to sleep if I am woken).

However, the last ten days, things have changed…

DS now wakes at least twice during the night. To start with, we could just hear him saying "no, no" and after a few seconds he would quieten, with no need for me to go up and see him. But now, he is waking literally screaming and in floods of tears. When I go in, he immediately calms - sometimes I have to walk around his room with him (and his head resting on my shoulder) but other times, he is just happy to snuggle back under the covers.

Reading about night terrors, I am not sure these are night terrors.

Has anyone else experienced this where initially -for at least 5 to 6 weeks, their DC slept well but then suddenly every night time was affected.

I can't function very well on the lack of sleep. And at this age, children need parents to have their energy because they are so energetic…

I feel very drained. DH is good and gives me a bit of a lie in at the weekends but we are coming up to a period where he has to travel a bit with work and I am dreading it...

www.amazon.co.uk/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Preschoolers/dp/0071444912/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1390338792&sr=1-3&keywords=elizabeth+pantley

I'd agree that making your child feel secure is the most important thing just now, it's great that you're tuning into his needs. I wouldn't post or seek general sleep advice as its not appropriate on the whole for children without secure attachment. You are in very early days, I think after a few months children realise they are not going back to everyone they've known so go through a grieving process, it's hard to watch. Fwiw my son came home at a similar age and we had loads of sleep anxiety and night waking, I slept on his floor for a year ad that way I got sleep. Now wish we'd just co-slept as it gives him the security he needs and me a full night sleep without waking. Have you tried giving him a piece of clothing which smells of you, photos where can see then of you all together and lots of talk at bedtime about what everyday things you'll do together tomorrow I.e you.'ll have your milk and mummy will have her tea then... And giving him a chance to look at pictures of or talk about foster carers. My son really missed his at about the three month point. Do what feels right and ignore all supernanny style advice! All the best,

My son was adopted at 1 day old, yet still has sleep/separation anxiety issues. He's just turned 7 and we've now "progressed" to a separate bed in our room. He had a separate cot at birth, but sleep issues started around 9 months and we eventually started co-sleeping. Like Kew, I wish we'd done it from the start as he might be less anxious now. My parents strongly disapprove, but if it makes him feel more secure it's ok.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond to me. It really helped because the lack of sleep was killing me.

Now, I don't want to tempt fate - but for the last 4 nights he has slept through (last night he woke at 5am but cried for 5 seconds and then went back to sleep and I didn't even need to go up and see him). Today, he slept in until 7.30am!!!

Looking back, the 4 nights when it was really bad (ie 6 times a night) were the 2 nights before and 2 nights after we saw his old foster family (they had been badgering me to arrange something so we met somewhere neutral. But just before we got in the car, he insisted taking a huge boxful of toys (usually he only takes a couple of things when we leave the house) and was v pensive during the journey. So now I think it could have all been linked to that.

He only has a toddler bed - so I can't sleep with him - but could put a mattress down alongside.

If it happens again for more than 4 nights I will, though, sleep in his room.

Thanks so much everyone for your words of advice.