Kinship carers -advice needed

[KristinaM]

chegirl, mre devere, liljaco, etc

Please coem over here and give this poster soem advice. I suspect she is entitled to a lot more help and support than she is getting

Parents can also be carers

TL - yes you have understood what I have been at pains to point out, so thanks for that.

EllenJane - I was in no way at all trying to make out that caring for a disabled child is just like caring for a child without disabilities. You say you'd like to see me do it - since you know nothing of my background, how do you know that I have not been involved with a disabled child. I have a grandson who is severely autistic and have over the past 10 years cared for him for significant amount of times.

However you have referred me to a link which doesn't alter my position at all and I see from your post to TL what annoyed you, but your perception of what I meant was wholly wrong. I think being annoyed by a post though doesn't give you the right to make allegations that have no substance.

I honestly think this thread has run it's course because it all seems to be about the use of the term "carer" now and it's going to be a circular argument so I will now bow out.

I wish all who are caring for children (with or without disabilities) well, and I absolutely understand that caring for a child with disabilities is extremely hard work no matter how much you love the child.

I can see very well where EllenJane is coming from, though it may seem an overreaction to any one who has not been the main carer of a disabled child.

The term carer does not just add a pat on the back for people who have to work harder at the same job of parenting: it is also a recognition of how much time you have to take away from being a parent in order to fill the specific role of a carer: endless hospital meetings, meetings with the school, with representatives of the LEA, filling in forms, being an advocate, reading up on your child's condition, negotiating with the rest of society at every turn.

My own dd is relatively mildly disabled, but I am convinced she would have had more and better quality parenting if I had not also been forced into this other job. I am sure I would have been delighted if anyone who had taken it off my shoulders and enabled me to concentrate on seeing her as a child, like other parents do.

Hi

if you are looking after a child that is a relation you are a kinship carer. I am the full time carer of my grandson. I have a special gaurdianship order which is not adoption but similar as I have full responsibility for decision making.
I was initially passed as a foster carer but until decisions are made for permanency within court there are some parental responsibility. I had to ask the social worker for permissions for a range of things.
As special gaurdians we went through a thorough assessment that was quiet gruelling.

My little grandson is now 4 and starting school and things are good :)

Interesting thread. I am a parent to 3 little girls, 5.8, 4.0 & 2.4, and a carer for one little girl, 5.8. It so happens that the girl I care for is the same girl I am parent of.

The definition of 'carer' is important, and legally protected.