Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Ladies' or Gents'

37 replies

shedragon · 12/08/2009 22:30

I have had this discussion a million times with DH. When our DD needs to go to the toilet in a reastuarant or wherever, I think he should bring her into the Ladies, but he refuses to, and brings her to the Gents. (Assuming there is no 'neutral' wee-wee place). DD is nearly 4 years old. I was asking friends at the weekend, and they agreed with DH. Am I off my rocker? Or is it appropriate for a little girl to be wandering thru the Gents?

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 12/08/2009 23:40

Shedragon, I do see your POV but I see your DHs more. There is a real chance he'd be the subject of a complaint or worse.

Obviously what we need is more gender neutral or parent-and-child facilities. How many places can we think of which have the latter specifically? I can only think of the Trafford centre.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 13/08/2009 00:39

Your poor DH. I can imagine the looks he would get if he did escort your DD into the ladies loo's.

I can understand your concerns though OP. I have boys which is easier but they do come into the Ladies with me if they're dad isn't around.

There is now way on earth that I would take them into the mens

cornsillk · 13/08/2009 00:53

Can't dh wait outside the door of the ladies for her? That's what I do for my ds's when they go into the men's.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
SolidGoldBrass · 13/08/2009 01:01

My DS is 4.11 and now often wants to go into the Gents by himself, so I wait outside the door but if he is taking too long I go in and get him. And if the Ladies and Gents are separated by too great a distance in an unfamiliar place and I need a wee too then we both go in the ladies. I am also likely (whether with DS or not) to go into the Gents if there is too long a queue for the Ladies. I actualy think that all public toilets should be unisex anyway, and completely despise anyone who would complain about a father taking his DD into the ladies' loo. It's not like he's peeping into the cubicles with his cock in his hand.
Most people using a public toilet are going in there to excrete, wash their hands and leave (or escorting small children to do the same). So why on earth is it a big deal whether they stand up or sit down to do it?

onagar · 13/08/2009 10:21

Maybe we should do away with separate ones entirely then.

But as it is now it is not acceptable for a man to enter the ladies and he could be accused of being a pervert (ok they'd sort it out later, but who needs that)

The point is for the carer (male or female) to be with them. If a child inadvertently sees part of an adult's body while in the company of a parent what harm can that do?

SolidGoldBrass · 13/08/2009 14:15

Oh now I wuld happily campaign for gender-neutral loos - a much more sensible use of space and public money than forever segregatimg them.

pinkiepunksmummy · 14/08/2009 01:27

My DH always took our daughters to the gents when they were younger..now aged 9 and 7, they are old enough to go to the ladies by themselves, with DH waiting outside.

DS goes with DH, unless we are together and the Gents is a bit dodgy looking, then I take him to the ladies. He is 5, but as tall as a 7 year old....I have noticed I am getting some very strange looks from other women when I take him in with me. But, being only 5, I am not willing to let him go into the gents by himself.

I once took DD into the gents at Asda!! The ladies was closed for cleaning, there were 15 people queuing for the disabled loo, and DD was freshly potty trained and desperate!! I walked in with her under my arm, with my hand blocking my view of the urinals, and apologising loudly....the two men in there clearly thought I was bonkers, but at least DD didn't have an accident!

I would be surprised, but not really angry if a man was accompanying his DD to the ladies, although if this happened regularly, I wouldn't feel so happy about letting my DDs going alone.
Pinkie

nappyaddict · 14/08/2009 01:38

Do people really not let 5+ year olds in on their own? I'm not at this stage with DS yet as he is still in nappies but I would have thought most would start allowing it between 3 and 5 or is that really young?

lou33 · 14/08/2009 01:43

if you there is an issue about taking dd into the gents why dont you go with her to the ladies?

he shouldnt have to go in the ladies, and nor should you have to go into the gents (or your daughter) if you or him have a problem with it

purpleduck · 14/08/2009 01:50

I wouldn't let mine go on their own at 5. Most publics toilets need sorting out first - making sure its clean etc - my 7yo can now do it, but wouldn'tve at age 5.

To OP, I agree with your dh. Haven't you ever accidently walked into the Gents, and it all feels just wrong...? It would be seriously uncomfortable for your dh.

My dh takes our dd into the gents, but knew he had to make sure it was clean enough

lou33 · 14/08/2009 01:53

i have gone into the gents to get a friend however, who passed out drunk in a cubicle and i had to get home from london to surrey

and i have used gents in an emergency

but i still dont understand why if the op objects she cant take dd herself

brummiemummie · 15/08/2009 20:08

Personally I wouldn't have a problem with a man going into the Ladies with his young DD, but I can see why some people might be a bit about it.

I really don't see any problem with him taking her into the Gents. Presumably she has seen your DH having a wee before so it's hardly going to mentally scar her if she sees a few men using a urinal, is it?

I would tell him to take her to the Ladies and wait outside, although I can understand in some places you may not want to do that as there are some funny people around.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page