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with these unwanted gifts?

30 replies

StealthPolarBear · 06/06/2009 21:33

A month or so ago I mentioned to my mum we were thinking about getting a new kettle and toaster - the kettle switches off before fully boiled and the toaster drops crumbs everywhere. Didn't think any more of it.
Talked to DH since and we'd decided we want a 4-slice toaster, and I'd said I wasn't keen on the stainless steel as I can't be -bothered to clean it think it never looks clean.
So today we went to see my parents who had just for back from their holidays, and from their 'holidays' they had brought us a new kettle and toaster - both stainless steel, toaster a two slice one. No idea about the crumb dropping - I planned to research it before I bought anything.
I am actually annoyed with her, and I know that makes me an ungrateful bitch. She does this a lot - a while ago I mentioned I wanted to get DS an etch-a-sketch, so she went on the great etch-a-sketch hunt. I know the solution is to keep my mouth shut from now on, but what do I do with this toaster and kettle?? Just to throw one more thing into the pot, she has it firmly in her head that DH and I (both work full time, professional jobs) struggle for money, and so she is doing us a huge favour by buying us expensive stuff. I find that attitude in itself incredibly patronising, but again, am being an ungrateful little bitch. I should just use it and be grateful, shouldn't I?

OP posts:
HuffwardlyRudge · 07/06/2009 11:39

I think fine to swap it.

StealthPolarBear · 07/06/2009 11:45

n1 thanks
I don't get it!! Maybe it's etiquette I don't get.

OP posts:
janek · 07/06/2009 13:49

fwiw i agree with you - it's so trivial, but really annoying when you have the opportunity to get the perfect thing, but end up with something else because someone else takes it upon themselves to buy it. i, too, am an ungrateful wretch, but that doesn't make me wrong...

i try not to mention to my mil things that we want (particularly for DDs) cos she'll become obsessed with getting that thing (or something similar eg disposable nappies for a doll, when we wanted washable ones like the new baby will wear...). and it drives me mad when dp lets the cat out of the bag.

my parents never get us anything and it works perfectly.

ILoveDolly · 07/06/2009 22:18

Didn't mean to preach yesterday - my mum is forever buying stuff then saying 'oh it's only from the charity shop, I just couldn't resist it' as if filling up my already full house with more adorable junk was doing me a favour. And implying it's because we haven't money when we do. So I guess I know what you mean when you don't know how to phrase it.... When is "How to talk so parents will listen" coming out?!!!!

plimple · 08/06/2009 11:04

Kick!!! Speak to your Mum. It's a matter of etiquette when dealing with inlaws, but she's your actual Mum. Be open and honest.

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