Anyone else literally smash things up with rage? Cycle related?

[CointreauQuaint]

As I type that I think it’s not normal. I’m sat at my desk literally screaming with rage between calls, my hand is sore from punching things and I’ve smashed two mugs. I’m ovulating today but I’m sure I don’t normally experience this but it’s more and more frequent.

anyone else?

I wonder if my colleagues are doing this

Do you really though?

If this is true, and you genuinely hand on heart think this behaviour might have a chance of being normal, I think that points to more than PMDD.

PMDD sufferers know that screaming with rage whilst working, punching things and smashing mugs is very far from normal. This is the reason they seek help.

I am older than you but I think i had Pmdd my moods got really low and occasionally quite dark, I wasn't aggressive though but I think it can manifest in different ways, HRT was a lifesaver for me.

They might be, we’re all tackling our own demons behind the scenes. Some people it will show in other, quieter ways

society is dismissive of female rage but we shouldn’t ignore it imo.

I wouldn’t even put it all down to hormones. It’s ok to be angry and there not to be a hormonal explanation

I've seen it all now - "You go girl. Female rage OK"

Yes that’s what I said 🙄

Dark thoughts too, won’t type her name (as I know weird press intrusion) but the lady that died after going into the river and left a teams call running. I think of that a lot.

I hear what you’re saying on do I really think it’s normal, but I also think with work, if everyone is experiencing the same unrelenting problems that I have to try to sort out, how could they not be? Which leads me back to thinking it’s the job.

It may be normal for someone in your situation, but it isn’t typical. Mug sales would shoot up!

It’s good that you are recognising it’s an issue, and starting to seek support.

I don't think it is wrong for PP to discuss the impact this kind of behaviour has had on them. We don't know if others are aware of it, after all.

OP I think do see a GP because it sounds awful for you. I suspect it will be a combination of factors.

Do you have children? My dad is autistic and used to behave like this when we were kids. It was very, very scary to witness. If you do have kids, it does add another layer.

You can’t grow up if it’s hormone related.

My parents are both dying and are a few hours away so I’m struggling there. But I don’t have kids (several miscarriages) so I think I should suck it up and get on with it as people have a harder time with kids.

I also do think I’ve had these issues when I was a child and going on the pill helped. It’s only quite recently I’ve had the pill realisation. As I say a few years ago this would be inconceivable to me

to be clear no one has witnessed an ‘episode’

You did. Yay you.

I don't want to say it's not "normal" because I've had days when I'm so fed up a good smash up would be great.

BUT, there are restraints that prevent us from doing things we feel like doing impulsively so, no, it's not healthy at all.

Are you chronically stressed? Instead of smashing things up, can you go for a walk/run when you get the urge?

Sounds like you have some pent up energy and repress emotions and need an outlet.

So this could be grief and you are in need of sick leave. See the GP.

What is your company’s absence policy like?

It could be your mental health op it sounds like everything is to much.

But I don’t have kids (several miscarriages) so I think I should suck it up and get on with it as people have a harder time with kids.

Ok then, crack on.

3 weeks paid then statutory

It sounds like from the snapshot you have written you might need to take some time off.

You are also likely to be processing all your losses, as you face the loss of your parents.

You need bereavement counselling.
You need to discuss with your GP and consider medication, and some time off.
Life is a marathon not a sprint. The situation you are in won’t resolve quickly and you really need to take steps to keep yourself healthy for the long haul.

What support do you have? Partner? Siblings? Friends?

Use helplines. Express your feelings in writing, or through running, screaming into a pillow… channel the overwhelming feelings in a safe way, to release some steam that makes it easier to manage the days.

Thanks @PrizedPickledPopcorn I think I do need counselling. I’m an only child so all falls to me re parents - I feel like I’m failing in every way. I do have a partner who is great though. I’ve tried helplines, Samaritans mainly but I it’s not been the best experience.

i do also run and gym when I can, the urge to stay in bed is overwhelming though. I know I’ll feel better if I do these things but the urge to stay in bed or worse is a lot.

I think it’s all definitely cycle related. I’ve not had the rage since I wrote this post but will be coming up to that time soon.

My heart goes out to you, OP. It is truly awful and I am so sorry you are suffering.
You might have to keep on at the GP, but impress upon them that this is serious and it could ruin (is ruining!) your life.
This was me and I got help far too late.
PMT or PMDD is so hard and would affect me and my loved ones, my life chances, everything for two weeks of the month.
I got the Mirena coil which stopped my periods and the hormonal torture.
As an extra treat, my undiagnosed ADHD was exacerbated when I hit menopause to the extent DH and I thought I might have early onset cognitive decline, so keep an eye out for that.

Thanks @SingtotheCat i think being on the pill masked all of this for many years. I can remember being a school refuser for a period and feeling exactly like this, which was around when my periods started. Throw in a last ditch ivf attempt too and I genuinely think I’m going mad. I’ve gone from being that confident, take it all in their stride person, on everyone’s invite list, can solve anything to a wreck that’s just about keeping her cover to the outside world.

also suspect some form of undiagnosed autism / adhd. Are you taking anything for this?

Im also autistic, and PMDD used to send me into out of control rage meltdowns where I would smash things and harm myself. I became suicidal most months. I took SSRIs and oestrogen patches which didn't help me that much. I didn't get better myself until my ovaries were removed when I had to have a hysterectomy and asked for them to be included. This was life changing, in a good way.
You are under a huge amount of ongoing stress so your threshold for frustration tolerance is also going to be a lot lower.
Sending love, and hope you are able to get some help ASAP.

Slynd is a really good new generation mini pill that stops your cycles, great for PMDD. I get mine free via an online NHS funded service, no need to visit GP.

I’ve slammed a few doors/cupboards in rage before but I’ve never hit anything or hurt my hands from it. Certainly never screamed at work…

Please, use the opportunity of the times when you are coping to explore support for when you aren’t well. Go to the GP.