Righteous indignation at having to repay borrowed money

[Donteatmychips]

I have had this on two separate occasions. Friends who need to borrow money, and I agree on the proviso that the money is paid back in installments/by a certain date a few months down the line. Terms eagerly agreed to and, when then asking for the terms to be upheld, being met with ‘what do you mean, I couldn’t possibly afford this’.

Yes, more fool me for having gotten myself into this situation more than once but it got me thinking that maybe that reaction is more common than actually being paid back…

We lent a friend of fairly short standing £500 to pay her rent. She had apparently got into debt and couldn't tell her partner who was a lovely chap.
Two weeks later up she rocks with a Pedigree puppy in tow.. she did eventually pay us back with a lot of prodding..cheeky mare.

Maybe the type of person who asks is the type of person who doesn’t think they should have to pay you back.

I know someone who would come out for a meal with a group of us and we would all have to chip in to pay for her as she had no money and we all felt sorry for her. She told me once she could live on thin air. That’s because she never had to pay for anything as she always managed to get other people to pay!

My Step son tried this with his dad
was buying a house and was 4K short

my DH lent it to him

when it was time to pay back his dad he had the money but he he wanted to hold onto it - for a while in case anything came up

his dad said no you pay me now and once I have it back if you need to borrow it again you can but I want the money back now

he paid it back moaning and bitching that he was skint and him girlfriend were broke after buying this house

and then the next week went out and bought a 1500 dog

his dad will only lend him 100 now no matter what he ask for

Went out with a single parent friend (I am a SP also). We'd told the kids we'd take them to the good (expensive) soft play. I paid for our coffees and snacks on the way (didn't cost a lot) but when we got to soft play she stood and announced she had no money. I couldn't let my DC (or hers) be disappointed, so I paid. But it was a LOT of money since I'm also on a low income.

She's constantly texting me me, wanting to meet up. But I'm just knocking her back now. IF she said, 'Do you fancy going to X, my treat this time, since you paid last time.' I'd go. But it's like she's got no idea she was taking the absolute piss, expecting a totally free day out which I had never agreed to pay for.

You're friendless for a reason chick.

There's a reason why banks carry out credit checks. I would suggest that your refer them to either their own family, their employer for an advance on future pay, a credit union or a bank and the national debt crisis centre for some budget management counselling. But don't lend your own money unless you accept you probably won't get anything repaid. If you do lend friends genuine emergency money get the loan agreement and repayment schedule written into a signed document.

There are far too many CF in this world taking advantage. My neighbour for some reason thought she'd start sitting in my garden last summer (she doesn't have one). I had to remove the furniture in the end.

Yes "mate's rates", I just tell them that the price is mate's rates 😂

What?? How did this work?

@Morepositivemum thank you. The comment has been rolling in my mind. It never takes long for the ‘victim’ blamers to come out

@Jollyhockeystickss what about people on Facebook who post looking for ‘reasonable quotes for x’. Like market rates are shocking. It’s another one that never ceases to amaze me

Ne’er a borrower nor a lender be…

A mate of mine (this was about 6/7 years ago) messaged me in a blind panic with a photo of a red bailiffs letter,saying 'pay £500 or we'll take your tv' (maybe not quite that wording)

I got 'i need to find £500 within 24 hours,any ideas?' hinthint,how very fergie

In other words,'give me the money and then i'll act like I didnt borrow it and get arsey when you ask for it back'

I knew her-she would use her money to buy treats for herself and not pay her bills (which is how she'd got herself in debt in the first place)

I sent her links to stepchange,she didnt bother and did indeed lose her tv (and other bits) and then went out and bought another expensive pet within weeks

If she hadn't borrowed money and not paid it back before,I might have considered it but no way was i losing £500

She would not have seen it as a loan and id be down that money

I wonder if I have the same friend! I lent her the odd £10 here, £20 there for her electricity etc and she always paid me back promptly. Then she started borrowing £20 regularly apparently because she needed a taxi home from the hospital ( there are no evening buses where I live and she doesn't drive) and said she repay me at the end of the month. Anyway it ended up totalling about £200, she deleted all our conversations and left me whistling in the wind. Lesson learned.

I borrow from my adult dc but I always pay them back without being asked! Generally I live pretty hand to mouth so a large unexpected expense can cause a problem. The boiler broke down just before Christmas and though this was not entirely unexpected and I had some monies put aside the bill was much larger than I had anticipated. I borrowed £650 from ds so I could pay 50% and am paying the rest over 12 months interest free. I have now repaid him.

Slightly different, I have a small accountancy practice. Had loads of potential clients over the years who've been aggrieved that they had to pay me for preparing/submitting their accounts/tax returns because they were only running "lifestyle" or "part time" businesses. They really thought I'd spend the time as a freebie for them or at a nominal fee. The sense of entitlement of some people is unbelievable.

Yes, I saw something similar a few weeks ago on our village Facebook page. Someone wanting a plasterer to come that same day (a Saturday) to plaster an entire kitchen and ceiling as she had a "friend" coming to fit a kitchen on the Sunday, and making out she'd be doing them a favour by offering to pay them £50 for doing it! Unsurprisingly she didn't get any takers!

It's almost as if they're treating you with contempt. Like thinking 'well you were stupid enough to give me the money. You must've known of course I'll never be able to give it back and frankly it's your own fault for trusting me you gullible mug.'

It really feels that way. They literally want to make it embarrassing for YOU to have to ask for it. In the hope you'll just forget it as it's too socially awkward not to.

She and others like her no doubt have done this to every single 'friend' and family member they've ever had even a fleeting relationship with. They probably owe thousands and thousands all over town.

Never lend money you aren’t prepared to lose. 😞