Is inviting seven out of ten Year 4 girls acceptable?

[Montylooloo]

My child is having a party. Mixed age group classes. Smallish party at home so wanted to stick to 15 ideally which includes some family and outside of school friends. My child has asked to invite 6/10 Y4 girls in her class, she is another so that makes 7/10. There are around 28 total in class including Y3 boys and girls and Y4 boys and girls.

7/10 feels too high but is it ok as it’s in a wider class of 28, including others girls…albeit the year below?

when quizzed about the remaining three girls from her year she said she never plays with them, so isn’t a big deal as such. But I know these things can feel different to those left out…or the parents. To invite would take us to 18 invited.

By Y4 kids know who their friends are. No need for whole class parties.

In my experience if having a teen DD and a teen DS, boys are much kinder. Obvs only based on my dc and their friendship groups.

I think it’s fine to invite the 6 girls. At that age, they know who they want to invite… it’s not reception where you invite the whole class.

If there were only 10 girls in total in the class then maybe you wouldn’t exclude 3, but it sounds as if there are other girls as well in the same class so I think it’s fine.

Would not be considered ok at our school

I do think you need to stop thinking “6 out of 9” (as your dd is the 10th girl) but “6 out of 27.”

if she’d invited a mix of boys and girls in the 6, or even a mix of year 4 and 3, you’d not even be worrying about the numbers left out because so many are left out.

Are the family and out of school friends your child’s friends or your friends and their children?
would your dc whose party is choose school friends over them?

I think it’s fine.

I think that was the right decision to invite all the girls. Leaving 3 out feels wrong to me!

If I had 10 colleagues (or 10 female colleagues for a women only event) I wouldn't invite 7 and leave out 3, no. Same if there were 10 people in a hobby group or similar.

Read your update and I think you’re right to invite all the girls in Y4 OP.

Given we are over half way through the school year presumably some of these girls have had birthdays already? Have they all invited each other?

I don't think it's necessary to invite all 10 if they don't play together but if that has been the precedent then I would do because it would seem mean not to return the invite.

I'm inviting whole class to the 8yr olds party soon. I have a friend whose dc rarely gets invited to class parties and it's hearbreaking to watch as she's a lovely wee thing.
I vowed I would never leave a primary child out of class parties, these things matter a great deal to children, even the wee horrors 😂

More fool you in that case....

Wow, that’s extreme.

By year 4 there were very distinct friendship groups. We only invited my dds friendship circle and it would have been odd to invite the other girls to be honest. They also didn’t invite my daughter or her friends to their parties by that age and it never caused offence. When they were younger we did invite everyone and I was conscious of making sure people werent left out. In Y3 there was one girl my daughter didn’t get on with but she was invited so not to leave anyone out.

I think it’s a bit different with a mixed year class of both boys and girls. If you’re inviting a mix of the Y3 and 4 boys and girls, then 7//28 would be fine.
But when all the invitations are going to Y4 girls and there would be only 3 of that subset left out, that’s different.

I think OP has made the right choice to include all the Y4 girls in this case.