How do you tackle not being able to understand an accent?

[FindingMeno]

Particularly in settings such as medical ones where its important to understand what is being said?
I am always so worried about appearing rude, especially if I have already said I'm having trouble following what is being said and I then still don't understand.
How is the best way to deal with this? What do you do?

I apologise profusely, exlain I have partial hearing loss and ask them to speak more slowly.
If i still struggle, I apologise more for my poor hearing and see if I can get help from someone.
I frame it very much as a problem on my end.

I’ve had this in a medical appointment where I simply could not understand even on the second go. I just had to persist and keep asking because in a medical scenario you really have to. It was desperately uncomfortable for me but I got what I needed in the end. For all other circumstances a big smile and a head nod can be used 😆

I can’t believe the number of people thinking it’s offensive to ask people to speak more clearly/understandably.

If it’s such an issue that people are struggling to understand you, you should be thinking of accent reduction lessons, TBH. Plenty of us have had to do our own version of that.

I am Northern Irish living in London, and unlucky enough to have three 8 digits in my mobile number.

I have long “opened up” the vowel in the word “eight” to its RP pronunciation, to eradicate any possibility of misunderstanding. l also speak much more slowly and articulate better. With my qualification, I can speak perfect RP, but never would - too many negative political connotations for someone who grew up in 1980s west Belfast.

No, you misunderstand my post. What I’m saying is you do your best but you are explicit that you didn’t understand and you ask them to repeat. However, in my circumstance I do it by taking all the responsibility for not understanding onto me, because I would rather them be frustrated with me than embarrassed.

But no, I definitely did not suggest pretending to understand. As I specifically mentioned in a previous post, that would be dangerous.

There's been some great suggestions on here, particularly the transcribing via a phone, so thank you for those.
For anyone who is implying that I am racist, or I am the cause of any problems because of hearing loss, or I am somehow stupid - just have a little think about that.

It’s not weird at all. Your concerns are legitimate and I sympathise as I also found it very difficult to understand some staff during my father’s last months. He was hard of hearing which made it even harder.

Forget about sounding rude. It’s far more important to clarify what is being said.

The employer's not fucking deaf though - and the NHS isnt famed for their accessibility. The telephone appointment system for the hearing clinic is a particular highlight.

The worst thing about using the local hearing centre is the admin woman, though. She sits on a chair so low behind the barrier that you can only see the top of her head, doesn't face you directly and, according to DP who isnt deaf, she mumbles whilst trying to move her face and lips as little as possible.

At least in Boots (in exchange for several thousand pounds), they make a point of facing you.

It’s not just me not understanding them - it’s them not understanding me, I have a fairly neutral British accent but I get that to some people its difficult if English is their second language (and fair play, I can’t imagine doing a job where I had to speak a second language all the time).

im asking what I should do then?

This is a very real problem and there is no overt or covert racism involved. It is a fact that some accents are harder to understand than others. I have had equal issues with Glaswegians, Liverpudlians and people from Belfast as I have with people in Indian call centres. This is why the much mocked RP was used in days gone by. As l am very hard of hearing, I wish that the RP accent would return on the radio at least because it is far easier for me to hear and understand what is being said. I say from the outset that I am hard of hearing, or even use the word deaf if I feel it will get the message across, and that they will need to speak slowly and clearly. Even so, people soon forget. I think elocution lessons would be a good idea for people who work with the general public.

in this situation you can try describing things in different ways but if you’re talking about a medical situation perhaps using an app on your phone that transcribes your words. Embarrassing I know but better than them misunderstanding your symptoms.

As I say if you don't understand, politely ask them to repeat or say it slower. I don't know how many times you should ask.

How do you know they don't understand what you are saying?

I'm sorry you're in hospital and it can feel overwhelming. I just don't know what else you can do if you can't understand or hear someone.

In a social situation this might be good advice but not in a medical appointment where understanding is vital! You need to know what you are being told in case you have follow up questions.
I would either take someone with me or have a notebook and say you want to write down names of conditions, drugs etc.

I also get asked questions in public and when people who don't typically speak English ask me questions in English I sometimes struggle to understand them, this is not just an accent issue, sometimes their sentences or vocab are poor- I just listen out for one word I do understand and then speak about that.

Of course I think that if people ask politely for things to be repeated, it's not racist to do that, Some people are being racist though in the way they comment on accents and pretend not to understand, I was in hospital with an old lady who was very racist and she kept telling me she hated a particular 'dark' nurse, couldn't understand a word she was saying and so on, and it was absolutely obvious what this was all about. She disliked all the 'foreign' people for various different reasons. The nurse was professional and patient with her and also helped her in an emergency, so they seemed to find some way of communicating just fine, but only because the nurse rose above it all.

I'm not saying don't ask, I do all the time and I write everything down as well (or you could ask for recording, my students often record our conversations which is fine by me). It can be twisted though, by racists, and that's why people are reluctant to ask, because emphasising difference can be due to prejudice as well as other reasons.

I’m hard of hearing. I wear bi-lateral hearing aids.

I have a strong enough personality 🤦‍♀️ that I say to anyone whose accent I struggle with to “please slow down,”or, “please look at me I need to lip read.”

Do you think you might need a hearing test? If all ok, then just ask folks to repeat, slow down OR as I do, repeat back to them what I think they’ve said. I do this face to face of on the phone. No/one has ever ever minded.

I do think saying 'sorry, can I write that down, I forget everything' or 'would you mind if I recorded this' is the way forward, though. I do it for everything now, and also ask people their names so I can write down who I spoke with. I have a work notebook and a personal one. It's fantastic when I go to conferences, I know who everyone is and I am much better networked and friendlier as I'm not staring at their lips straining to hear what they are saying all the time.

I struggle with accents too OP. Following covid infections, I have developed health issues…one of which is some hearing loss. It means I now have various appointments and it can be hit or miss if I understand. I’ve always struggled a bit with strong accents, so sometimes I just nod and if it seems important, I’ll blame my hearing and ask them to repeat (although I often still can’t understand). My DH has fantastic hearing, so can help, but even he will sometimes struggle too. I think some people are just better at understanding very heavy accents than others. I also worry about offending. I am fine with people who speak really fast, but notice some people struggle with that. I could barely understand a really good friend of mine the first few times I met her, but learned to, so it’s not a completely new thing for me. The hardest is quietly spoken, mumbling with a strong accent.

This thread is really showing that deafness truly is the most hidden disability. People who do not know what it means to be hard of hearing find it funny when we mishear things at best then get annoyed with us if they have to repeat themselves more than once. We are treated as if it is our fault that we have not heard what has been said and that we would be able to if only we tried a little harder. Then when we have the audacity to say that we have an extra problem with people who mumble at us very quickly and with strong accents, we are, once again, told that we are the problem - not the person who has a strong regional accent or for whom English is not their first language. We are even told that we should pretend we have heard and understood because, after all, we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because we don't try hard enough to hear, do we?

They will know that their accent is difficult for some people to understand and shouldn’t be upset if you ask if a nurse could support you in the appointment. They will know the terminology so be able to support with what you can’t make out.
honestly if you’re up front and just say. I’m so sorry, I struggle to understand some accents, please could I have support from a nurse so I can make sure I give you the correct information.
I work in the NHS and we ask for translators when a patient can speak English but it’s a second language and they’re not completely fluent in it, we worry they will miss the some parts or not quite understand what we mean. If we think someone struggles to understand our accents we always have a second person there as support. It’s common practice in our team and there is no offence taken either way, we just want to do the best for each person we see. There will always be someone who has a big ego or unempathetic to people’s needs but that’s life and if they have a problem with it, it’s their problem.

I have a close friend with a very strong European accent. When they talk very fast I get lost in what they’re saying. It doesn’t automatically mean some sort of hate crime is happening…

Some people are just not as good with accents. Including me - I’m half Irish, actually speak some Irish. Can I understand my great uncle, the man with the thickest Irish accent in the world? Only about every third word….

I don’t know what the solution is OP, but you’ve got my sympathies. It’s mortifying when you just can’t understand.

I grew up in London hearing all sorts of accents but the only time I remember really struggling was when I first moved to Liverpool and got a taxi from the station. He was really chatty too and I felt incredibly rude.

My (racist) grandfather spent a lot of time in hospital and used to be really rude to staff members from other countries by pretending not to understand them. It was mortifying and if I was there I'd apologise and tell him off. He found it amusing. It was definitely on purpose as he'd have a smirk on his face.

Ah, I have a Nigerian aunt and I could see how 'date of birth' could be perceived as 'little bit' by someone unfamiliar with the accent (or someone having difficulty processing due to existing issues/stress)! It's to do with the shortening of the vowels and the 'th', and where the stress goes.

Maybe lose the 'thickest' descriptor? It goes along with the fallacy that some people don't have accents and some do. Your accent is almost certainly impenetrable to someone.

Oops that was meant to be in response to a pp!

I am a senior manager in global IT and struggle with some accents, mostly over zoom calls. I have no hearing issues. I just struggle to understand certain accents, including UK based folk