"Just feed them what you eat"

[Cindy1802]

I am at my wits end with kids and how crap they are at eating. I have a 5 and 2 year old, who both are fed good diets. They get a home made meal from scratch every night of the week. They have always been served what we eat, moderated with no chilli/low salt etc, but recently it's been grating on me how often they complain about what's in front of them. I am adamant I am not going to be making multiple meals every night. I did my reading during the weaning stages and read many sources saying to feed them what we eat. But everything is apparently disgusting! For context, they have rejected this week:
Tomato and chicken orzo
Pea asparagus lemon risotto
Butter chicken curry
Satay stir fry veg and rice
Kid friendly chow mein
Roast veg tray bake with sausage and halloumi

They will sometimes pick through and eat the sausage, plain pasta or a particular veg, but many times it's just moaning and complaining! Please tell me I'm not alone!!
Thanks for the rant, I feel a tad better already 😆

One big hit with my son was paella , he didn’t like anything involving mince, so spaghetti Bol, chilli etc was out

They all sound delicious and pretty child friendly to me - I also avoid lots of spice etc but other than that I do similar things. I would hate having cottage pie and heavy things all the time. I personally just let mine get on with it and if they don’t want it that’s fine, as long as they’ve had a go. They will get there eventually.

i love the food you have listed. I think children are just going through a phase. They’ll eat these things. My kids are on and off, but happily will eat sauerkraut , olives and smelly mackarel! Orzo would be well received! Keep it up ! There is no such thing as child friendly food (unless is fiery hot) , it’s a designed diet of beige foods that have become a child’s bog standard diet.

They absolutely will come round but it takes a while of just putting the food in front of them. Mine are a bit older now (7&11) and have very adventurous palates. Kids will stretch to whatever you put in front of them - just takes effort, patience, time. Keep going!

You’re doing great! I’m impressed with your menu. Just keep going, they’re complaining now but they will thank you one day.

I refuse to make multiple meals however I will adapt what im cooking if there are bits they dont like but we do eat very basic foods so that might be why its always worked.

Very strange responses, no wonder we have such a problem with fussy eating in this country if so many people are horrified at the thought of children eating risotto and stir fry!
The menu sounds good, children can sometimes just be fussy. No need to make separate meals, keep at it and make occasional adaptations. We have always eaten the same meals at the same time and never made “kid food”

We’re vegetarian so DS has always eaten a fairly wide range of foods. One thing I’ve noticed is he is fine with strong flavours but not lots of competing flavours - DBro keeps cooking him things like bean chilli with loads of different garnishes and sprinkles and sauces, and honestly DS just wants chilli and rice. Or with pad thai, he just wants the noodles/tofu/veggies, and not the lime/peanuts etc unless it is completely mixed in so he can’t tell.

But it's not a kid's tea. It's a family meal. I never cooked separately unless DD had a play date and I made dinner for them a bit earlier and yes then I went more for easy food.

I cook from scratch when I come home from work and we eat around 7:30 pm. It's not hard if you have the practice to do certain recipes, others are left for the weekend or my day off.

Growing up, I was well aware that if I were to make the strange decision to announce, rudely, that I didn't like a meal, it would simply be served up again the next night, and for as many nights as required! And it would be explained to me, probably a little sharply and indignantly, that this could not happen again. Surely the priority is that the kids get a top-notch diet, not so much whether they enjoy it - of course it's nice if they do, but you are, for now, the custodian of their health and it is your duty to both train their attitude to food and to make sure that their food intake is healthy. And to make sure that they know the rules of behaviour around food - ie not telling someone who has been in the kitchen for an hour (presumably after a day of other work) that you don't like the food, as if the opinion of a child (whose palate is still developing, who knows nothing about a household budget, etc) is at all important.

Of course it is much easier to stick to this attitude if you are surrounded by other parents doing the same thing.

But all of the dishes mentioned by the OP are totally standard. If you go to any bog standard French nursery you will see the toddlers sitting down for a five-course meal composed of complex and adventurous flavours and textures - this is considered to be very important for their education (and you can imagine it is important for social mobility too).

I totally agree with this. Just keep on putting the food in front of them with no arguing and some gentle encouragement.

I am not a restaurant. I serve one meal and if the kids don't eat it they can have some yoghurt or fruit or bread and butter or a bowl of cereal. I remember almost tearing my hair out when they were toddlers/preschoolers and DD1 went through a phase of rejecting dinner most nights and having Weetabix instead.

They are 9 and 6 now and aren't fussy at all because we stuck with it. They are allowed their likes and dislikes of course, but in general they will eat most things. Last night's dinner was mixed bean fajitas cooked with onions, peppers and leeks. Previously DD2 would have complained about the onions and would have been told to pick them out (not arguing, just matter of fact) but last night she ate them with no complaints.

You are in the trenches now but it will pay off if you're consistent and don't give up. Some of the replies you've had are so depressing and are exactly why you see so many kids at school with packed lunches of a crap ham sandwich, bag of crisps and a biscuit.

A PP is exactly right that you're the custodian of their health at the moment. It is more important to encourage an adventurous attitude to food and to make sure they are eating a wide range of whole foods and healthy meals than whether they would rate every dinner they have as 10/10.

Appreciate the support in some of the recent responses. Their diet is important to me and as a PP said, I hate the thought of them only wanting crappy white bread and ham sandwiches. My eldest gets school dinners and I always order him the hot meal and he's not complained (yet) about his pals getting the plain sandwiches. I am hoping it's just a bit of a phase, and admittedly I have tried a few new recipes recently as I get bored sticking to the same ones and maybe I tried too many in the one week. I've got a long list after speaking to my 5 year old last night of things he likes, and includes a good number of healthy meals like soups, stews, falafels, lasagne. I'll make a conscious effort to spread out the newer more adventurous meals in between meals we know they do like.

Some children have complicated feelings about food, and hopefully it's a phase they'll progress through. My friend's 6yo, at the weekend I offered him a plate with some ritz crackers, sticks of cut up cheddar and cucumber on as a snack. He said don't you remember I said I don't like cheese? Left the cheese. Later that day was given pasta and a little bowl of grated cheddar, happily ate the cheese.

This is a child who has refused to even try vegetables other than cucumber, olives and tomatoes for years - unless grated up veg hidden in a tomato sauce. His latest is "I don't like chicken" for whatever reason, when presented with some chicken as part of a roast dinner. Will eat chicken in other contexts. And likes things like salami so it's not a bland foods only issue. But he is very fussy and particular about foods.

I was a fussy child myself and remember just making a decision that I don't like XYZ, I don't want to try it, emotional rejection of things and no matter how much I was encouraged I wouldn't have wanted to eat e.g. peppers, meat on the bone, things like chutney or pickles. I could have lived off plain cheese sandwiches given the chance! I grew out of it in my later teenage years.

My children are fussy eaters (the older one has nearly grown out of it though and is much better at trying things now). I was also a fussy eater as a child but am not as an adult. We have a rotation of fairly unadventurous meals, some cooked from scratch and some not. Sometimes the meals are adapted with different extras added for children or adults. I also make sure they get lots of the fruits and veg that they like.

I’ve never understood why some people insist their children eat things they find disgusting. Almost seeming to take pleasure in forcing children to eat stuff so they can feel good that their kids aren’t fussy eaters. I think in many cases it will sort itself out in time. I know that happened for me and I would have been miserable as a child to eat things I found gross. Obviously some cases are more serious and need specialised help.

I dont think anyone has suggested doing this.
Most advice is to make zero fuss, insist on manners( no rude remarks)and to continue to offer meals with some additional known liked foods present.
No forcing at all.
My personal feeling is that its not about food, its about anxiety and control

Even l wouldn't eat your meals.
I think you are showing off with what you make. Go for more simple meals.

So they fuss and moan - that’s normal

and yes I got very bored with the menu on endless repeat

She doesn't want her children to end up having a limited diet though.

Snap

lemon pea risotto 🤮

We have a 18 month old and we have pivoted to mostly cooking and eating foods she does like / will eat. And honestly I don’t care: we both work full time and just want to eat together at 6pm, do bedtime and chill out. At the weekend we’ll get a takeaway or posh ready meal for something different. Just keep life easy, it’s not worth the battle in my opinion! Or look at meals they do like but you could ‘jazz’ up for yourself? I grew up on freezer food and now I love all food and have always been healthy. Instagram is terrible for the pressure it puts on parents to make elaborate meals, it’s so unnecessary

There is nothing wring with any of your menu - bloody hell. what is everyone's problem? The first dish is chicken in tomato sauce with pasta, then creamy easy to eat rice...

OP - they just DO moan at that age.

2 year olds are programmed to suddenly be suspicious of veg because in the wild they would need to avoid poisonous pants. The 5 year old is probably attention seeking in solidarity.

I would breezily ignore and let them fill up on whatever part of the meal they will eat. With good bread and butter on the side and fruit after.

That menu sounds really good OP and if you've put a lot of effort into planning and making it, I can totally understand how frustrating and disheartening it is when it's rejected. Do you try these meals again if they've been rejected before? I followed a lot of child nutritionists on social media when I was weaning mine as I was desperate not to raise a picky eater like I was as a kid. One of the key things I took away was repeated exposure to new foods (doesn't have to just be at meal time but handling/looking at them while helping with cooking too) and always serving at least one 'safe' food at mealtimes so that you know there'll always be something on the plate they will eat and that reduces the stress for both you and them. In theory. These approaches seemed to work well for mine (though I think I probably just got extremely lucky and she took after her dad rather than me) and could be worth a try? The accounts I found helpful were Charlotte Stirling Reed and also Dietician Lottie on Instagram. Hope they might be helpful for you too.

I mean yeah most kids wouldn’t eat all that. Simplify it.

I know I'm poncey but this thread is just people who sound like the kind of people who go to Spain and complain when it's not all fry ups and roasts.

Rice, tomato, chicken, cheese, pasta, peas? All bog fucking standard food.

I'm so glad I can take teenage DD anywhere and she will eat politely. Some of your children are going to grow up and sound like right ignoramuses. And yes, I'm being rude because people have been so rude to the OP.

Showing off? God forbid someone enjoys cooking and eats a variety of nutritious (and delicious sounding!) food in the hope that her children will too. I'm amazed by some of these responses.