Do you mind male strangers calling you “love” or “darling”?

[Buzyizzy217]

Does it irritate you when complete male strangers call you by a term of endearment, like “love” or “darling”?
To answer the obvious question, yes, it does me and I tell them not to do it. Just curious.

I really don't like it. I had someone on market place ending every exchange with 'darling' and it wound me up. I didn't even realise how much I disliked it until then. It just gave off creepy vibes to the point where I almost decided not to meet him. I don't mind 'love' so much, context dependent

In the workplace, no, not appropriate.

In everyday life, it doesn't bother me. I'm older though and this was very common growing up, so something I'm used to. I find people want to address you in some way. If they don't know your name it's common to add love, darling, mate, buddy etc. I'm too old to be addressed as Miss, and I'd hate to be called Madam. Generally it's not said to cause offence (you can tell if it is) and the sayer doesn't tend to think you're their darling. It's just a term of endearment.

Yup. I certainly do by men, it is sexist and demeaning.

I’m older too and I find it sexist and patronising. I called one male out for it and he totally denied saying it. 🙄

Yes I do mind unless they are of an older generation to me so 70+.
Then it is usually just being nice instead of patronising.

No, unless the context or tone is an unpleasant one.

This is awful. I’ve never come across it in a written exchange.

I once objected to being called darling by a shopkeeper who was Pakistani, by saying that I wasn’t his darling and he responded by saying that he thought that it was normal and friendly in this country to address women like this, which was an interesting insight.

I don’t like it. Is the equivalent for men if they call each other “mate”? Is it intended to add a little bit of informal friendliness?

I don’t mind if a woman calls me love.

I’m increasingly noticing it as I get older, and I know it’s meant kindly, but it can seem a bit diminishing.

There are circumstances when I don’t mind a “love”, and I can’t out my finger on the difference.

Not at all.

I like it, I find it friendly and warm.

Doesn't bother me at all. Doesn't matter who says it either!
I was born in Yorkshire, where it's "love" most of the time. I lived in Lincolnshire for 6 years (between '80 and '86) and that was "duck"!
I just think it's a nicety that there isn't enough of in the world now.

No. Not at all.

I dont really care but the guy who called me grandma was asking for a punch on the nose. Im not a grandma.

This! 💯

Not at all. It means nothing and as they don’t know your name it’s just something to call you. Like a woman calling you dear or love too. Better than M’am!

No. Duck, love, darlin, etc are meant to be friendly so thats how i take them.

I think a couole of pp's have hit the nail on the head.

In situations where people don't know your name, fine.

In situations where they do know your name, not fine.

In the bank last week, one of the staff repeatedly called me "dear". She was late twenties/thirties, I am 65. I found it patronising and off. Similarly, the GP receptionists have a habit of saying "room three, Roses Luvvy", whilst referring to the GP as Dr Brown - always seems a bit rude to me. I've an apt tomorrow, perhaps I'll walk into room 3 and say "hello Phil luvvie". Would be rude though. But why is it ok to speak to the patient like it?

The chap at the corner shop does it and it doesn't bother me too much - just like if he called me 'mate'. I'd prefer it if he didn't.
The staff at the post office used to do it and it annoyed the hell out of me.
My NDN used to do it.

All the above are people of Pakistani origin, which may be a connection.
I'd mind regardless of their heritage - I don't want anyone calling me darling.

I went to the supermarket last night and was called Sir by a member of staff. He immediately corrected himself and said Madam.
It was 9pm, he'd probably had a long day, I said, that's fine.

Out and about - no.
In work - yes.

Not at all. I quite like it.

I can’t think of an instance where this has happened to me so I am not sure how I’d feel. I don’t think I would care but it would depend on the situation I suppose.

No because where I’m from men call everyone love, both other men or women. It’s just a term, like mate.

I come from the North and I miss being called “love” by everyone. When I lived in London I accepted “darling” as the same kind of friendly interaction. We don’t get that where I now live 🤷‍♀️.

like all spoken communication it really does all depend on tone and context

Yawn .........

@enjoyinglifenowretired , Yes. I absolutely hate “ terms of endearment “ by either a man or a women. It is patronising and unnecessary.
I agree.

This type of interaction, which I love, is common in working class people up and down the UK. It’s Hen, pal, wee man, big man, mate etc where I am. Nobody is being rude or patronising.

This, as usual, is a class problem and some people think they are above others and should be addressed as so.

personally I think the big jaggy stick up their bahookie must be painful and make some folks crabit.