Please tell me about your interesting young adult!

[Thesnailonthewhale]

All the young adults I've met recently and that's about a dozen between the ages of about 19 and 24. Are all so fucking boring.

My 22-year-old colleague who I have to sit next to, lives at home with his parents, no expenses or bills to pay, it's not saving for anything so essentially has to ground a month pocket money and almost infinite spare time. I asked him what have you done this weekend, or last week or whatever. This last weekend he spent three evenings watching twitch streams about Pokémon until about 3:00 in the morning. Didn't go out with any friends. Didn't go and see the world. Didn't go. Didn't do anything. Just sits around watching TV watching live streams.

Another one who's about 23 who I know through a friend. We were having lunch together and I asked her what does she get up to then in her spare time. Nothing apparently. Hasn't been to see the world. Hasn't been visiting anywhere. Not interested in galleries, exhibitions festivals literally nothing. And so we find out what it is she does with her time, and it's just a shrug and she might be watching something on Netflix or whatever.

When I was their age I was going I was going to Europe for the weekend getting the cheapest flight possible, staying in a hostel and exploring the world. Going out with my friends we'd go to museums and art galleries because we were boring like that. Or we'd go to a theme park for a day or whatever. But we do something and have interesting stories to tell.

So please restore my faith in young adults and tell me the interesting things they are up to please!!!

I know.

I'm the problem.

I get it.

I completely understand that I AM THE PROBLEM.

not the younger people.

It's me. I'm nosey. I have no conversation skills. I am old, boring and not an interesting person to talk to.

I get it.
I shall quietly ignore them and leave them alone.

Excellent plan.

Thank you.

And they can sit in silence not doing anything for 6 hours 😁

Maybe they don't want to say it to you.... As you reported the cake and book interaction it sounds like a classic grey rock response from your colleague.

With your subsequent posts I don't blame them. I would do the same.

Surely half way through the conversation you got that they don’t care that your daughter ate the lemon drizzle cake.

I don't I've implied that there's at anything wrong with your conversational skills in general. I'd be delighted to give you a run down on my current reread of all of Hardy, including the loopy minor ones, to the point where you'd probably beg for me to stop. But they're not working in this scenario, and it seems likely that the 17 year old is experiencing your approach as hectoring.

22yo off to Mull on Saturday for drysuit diving, waitresses all the hours God sends, counted cross stitch, nightclubs and spent the summer in Thailand.

20yo makes her own clothes, runs a d&d group and draws like a dream. Pet rats and spends her weekend thumping people with swords. Recently bought a spear.

Both currently writing 3rd year dissertations.

It's fine. I understand that I am the one with the problem.

I will just continue to let them sit quietly and do nothing and not speak or learn.

Do nothing or do their job?

I know.

I will just not bother talking to her. It's not a problem.

They're sitting there with nothing to do, as other colleague just basically forgets to give them tasks.
She's on work experience...

She's sitting right next to me in silence, staring into space. Clearly bored, So I tried nicely (not an inquisition) to try and talk to them about anything a few times.

But they clearly don't want to talk to me. So I will quietly let them sit there doing nothing 🤷‍♀️

I shall put my headphones in and leave her to it as it's clearly me that's the problem.

(It really isn't for me to give her work, she's here for experience in a different department, just happens to be next to me)

My mum calls people like this 'puddings'. They just sit there like a lump.
I managed someone like this and it was hard work.

Even if they have no interest in chatting, it's a life skill to be able to make conversation with anyone and everyone. People who have no ability to do this and won't try are going to find it holds them back (depending on profession, clearly). People who make themselves interesting and charming generally will get advantages both socially and professionally. People who don't, or who make no effort with anyone different from themselves, won't get those advantages.

This doesn't mean a need for constant chatter but there's a minimum level of interaction here that's just good manners.

And yes, neurodiversity is a thing, etc, I'm aware.

My 19 year old is at uni living his best life! He is enjoying the freedom of being able to choose for himself what he wants to do without the restrictions of low income, siblings with SEN and rural life. He is making full use of his railcard and regularly decides to hop on a train and go off exploring somewhere.

I think most young adults should be asking us to restore their faith in the world. We've screwed over the planet for them, created a world with ever increasing inequality and uninspiring leaders, and removed any hope of them doing the things our generation thought normal, like buying their own house, and therefore being stable enough to start a family.

I'm glad yo hear you all have lovely interesting young people in your lives ☺️☺️☺️☺️

.... which is why I dropped it....

i dont think its an age thing either, this is why im putting together a journal of all the various intrests i have , plans, designs, subjects etc so then when its q and a i can use my journal for conversations

Its v soon to make such judgements op, maybe she can sense your attitude towards her, if your narky comments are anything to go by

Yes. I know I am the problem.

id say your the intriguing person, as you seem cultured and have different intrests etc

One of mine backpacked around Europe for a month at sixteen having organised it all herself - only slept on night buses. Another has her own horses already, out of her own money, and at aged 20 is at present holidaying camping in the US having travelled there alone (has friends there). DS 19 spent a month hiking in the Spanish mountains last year.
Me? I haven’t left the UK for 25 years. 😂

It would probably take my son 6 months to talk to you because he has ASD and it takes him time to warm up to people.
He is 21, doing his finals and going onto do an MSc. He does 2 days a week in a supermarket where everyone loves him because he works hard and volunteers for everything.
If you asked him what he did at the weekend he'd say went to work, did course work and his laundry. He doesn't watch TV unless its sport.
You'd probably find him very boring, unless you like sport

@Thesnailonthewhale I think you’d love my DD17.

If she was with you on work experience, within the first thirty minutes you would have been given an encyclopaedic rundown of early church anthems, a history of judo, why Keynes was wrong, the best Mary Berry cakes, Ebola and other novel viruses and all the recent local roadworks. You’d then be asked to rate your top ten terrier breeds (FFI Norfolk and Dandy Dinmont for the win.) and be offered a taste of her turmeric and lemon tea.

You would not get a word in edgeways and would forget entirely what you were there for.

She gets on great with the middle aged, her cool peers, not so much.

I am a lecturer and I recognise what you are describing, OP. It’s not that the students are boring, it’s that they lack the social skills to make conversation with an older person, even when offered friendly social cues. Those who can hold their own in an informal chat really stand out. I do worry that the lack of relationship building skills puts them at a disadvantage in the future. A lot of the YP I meet seem mortified to have to interact with me (their tutor) and also with each other. Yes of course some are ND, but there is a more general sense of social awkwardness.

it’s interesting to read so many posters on this thread saying that it’s unreasonable to expect a young adult to engage in some workplace chit chat.

I always say to my own YP that the ability to look somebody in the eye, smile and have a friendly chat is a secret weapon.