Colleagues breaking down into tears in meetings

[Givenup2026]

I have never experienced this before. Yes out workplace is chaotic, but I didn’t think it was that chaotic or toxic.

It definitely has left me speechless and I don’t know what am I supposed to do beyond offering my support.

I didn’t want to jump ship, but I think I might to actively start looking.

has this happened to anyone before? And what ended up happening?

I can remember being told not to cry and if I did I would be sent home. I started a new job and after the first week my 39 yr old brother was rushed in hospital, fitting post stroke. I received a call from my mother at work, who had dashed off to the Jersey where he was living, to tell me they discovered he had a brain tumour and if I wanted to see him to say goodbye I would need to leave immediately. This all happened in the reception area... I was then told by HR, if I stayed in work, I could not be upset...

I decided not to go to Jersey, as I wanted to remember him as he was, he died 24 hrs later. I know you will be shocked and stunned, when I say I was not upset when the company folded within six months. I now make sure that anyone who is going through a family death is supported and am the person in the office who has written the How to Deal with a Death in the Family document, so none of my colleagues go through an experience like that.

Yes, but it shouldn’t be normalised! It’s all the more reason for managers to realise it’s a big wake up call to do something drastic and effective to sort out working conditions. I think that’s what @PruthePrune was getting at.

We are taught at school that bully's don't win. In real life they do. Managers and HR generally have a don't bring me problems approach as well.

Bullies don't win.

They become SLT.

God THIS!!!!! So right!!!! Don’t they just?

Start up you say…. Is it in the telecom industry by any chance?! I worked for one with a real awful line manager, and 6 ppl quit a week after I joined. They told me I should quit too as he was awful but I was returning to work after a long maternity break and really wanted to just get back to work. I ended up quitting 11months later and all the people who were hired to replace the 6 who quit have all left now. No one stayed more than a year as the place was totally toxic and the line manager was vile! The organisation won best employer in some competition and that was the biggest joke! No idea who was paid off and how they won. Probably rigged. Just awful place to work!

This is the Government Cabinet meeting, I take it?

I went into psychosis with stress and it destroyed everything in my life - I lost my soul

We have a senior "manager" who regularly turns on the waterworks to get her own way with her bosses, makes statements like "everyone knows I'm a crier" but also seems to take great pleasure in making her team cry.

It's the most toxic place I've EVER worked and I'll be gone as soon as my personal circumstances change and I can find another permanent job.

We have escalated the behaviour, bullying, and spite through every official route. Apparently the fact that this manager has achieved the loss of half their direct reports and we're all terrified to speak is the fault of the rest of the team. This manager is obviously the victim and a candidate for sainthood as far as the executive team is concerned.

Oh, and before Christmas we were all told we're all rubbish at our jobs, nothing to do with having more and more work dumped on us with no training to do it, let alone additional resource. I call it the Buckaroo style of management.

Yes, you guessed it - it's the NHS. I regularly have to remind myself that there are good NHS organisations out there. I've worked for some of them. This isn't one of them though.

Good God!

What’s SLT?

I think if it’s happening routinely then it’s a sign something isn’t right ! Too much pressure , poor management, poor communications .

a one off can be different- someone can behaving a bad day, problems at home , illness etc

Senior leadership team

We have similar at work. Colleagues are breaking. It used to be such great place to work. Lots of work, but valuable and worth occasional very high stress periods. Now it's just the high stress periods. High management is just ignoring the causes of it while sending out "make sure to take care of your MH🥰"

I barely know what to do if a friend cries, let alone a work colleague. I’m feeling awkward just thinking about it.

Ah thank you. I’m self employed so I’m the SLT and the crying employee rolled into one single person!

This.

This is not your colleagues being the problem, this is clearly a toxic environment.

If it were me, and my manager was reasonable to deal with then I'd be going to them and expressing concerns about workplace culture and staff wellbeing and asking if a steering group could be established to try to address this proactively.

Start ups can be full on, pressure is high but also the polices that should be in place often aren't and I'd say that given you're a start up it's a great excuse to learn and grow in that area. And I'd use the argument of reducing staff absence, staff sickness and increasing retention rates which overall saves the company money and improves output. Its likely the company is expanding more than their capacity and its something noones got round to.

I would also be joining a union if you aren't already in one

I once had a manager talk down to me in front of colleagues. I called him out of the room and tore an absolute strip off him - called him unprofessional and a bully. He was speechless. Later he came up to me apologised and said he had a bad day, He offered me a lift home which I accepted. He did not try anything and we say talking for a few minutes. As the only two graduates we later became quite good friends. The colleagues made the usual assumption that we were having an affair. It was nothing like that. We met to go to museums, art galleries and the odd drink. A few weeks later we were all made redundant and I never saw him again.

I've seen people cry at work but they usually have stuff going on in their personal lives at the same time as work stress.

Realistically, how would it benefit me?

I worked somewhere like this and it was totally normalised. I ended up doing the same myself in the end. Eventually I left and years later have never cried at work again since. It's a sign of a toxic culture and well worth getting out.

OH it sounds bad for some departments.

I'm working somewhere toxic at the moment. I cry all the time. Never thought I was a crier but this place is next level toxic gaslighting.