2.5 year old DS WILL NOT have hair cut

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My 2.5 year old DS will not have his hair cut! I’ve tried two different places (second one was recommended by nursery), doing it myself, doing it when he’s asleep (I managed to cut it then but it looked AWFUL!). I had YouTube ready, chocolate, dummy to hand. No good. He just goes bananas, full meltdown and won’t stay still. I tried holding him in the chair and my dad did too, no good. His hair is so long now, in his eyes, nearly a bob and very thick. Anyone else had this? Any suggestions?

Do I embrace the man bun (baby boy bun?)?

My first thought was for the same reasons girls are encouraged to tie back long hair; to reduce the ease of spreading of nits and making it easier to keep tangle free. Children who don’t like having their hair cut are also unlikely to be huge fans of sitting down with a parent and a detangling comb.

OP, a little relative of mine isn’t keen on hair cuts, to the point that a barber refused to even attempt it. They’ve worked out that it’s the noise of the clippers he hates. Would ear defenders help? Or earphones with an age appropriate volume? His parents do his in his sleep (this child could sleep through a bomb going off) but obviously that’s not the case for everyone.

Omg what a cute idea! I will investigate, thank you. Could find some dog groomer clips on YouTube too

Haha careful what you wish for right?!

Well done for persistence. I can see the fringe in his eyes could be a problem. Could you just cut that and leave the rest? By way of encouragement, DD screamed blue murder at your DS's age when she had to have showers on holiday (there was no bath). One year later, she was fine. It difficult to work out why they are scared because they probably don't know themselves.

The other thing we did when DS finally agreed to go to the barber was make an appointment just after one of his friends so he could watch friend go first.

Yes it’s very thick and straight over his eyes…will have to see if he lets me tie it up once it’s long enough or maybe it will start growing in a different style/direction? Let’s see! It used to be curlier and therefore easier for me to chop bits off when I grabbed a sneaky chance but not anymore.

Ask random people to say Hasn't that girl got lovely hair as they walk past him and I could bet he will be begging for a haircut. A bit cruel but it might do the trick.

I did say to my husband we could try using clippers when DS is asleep actually! We have to do his nails when he’s asleep and that’s very successful. Think we’ll do this if having long hair proves to be an issue further down the line.

Going against the crowd here.

I'd buy clippers and do it while he's asleep.

I cannot bear loose, unkempt long hair on children (or adults!).

I have tried cutting the fringe a few times but it’s so thick so it’s not very successful as it needs a proper cut (he’s either asleep in a weird position or wriggling and screaming). When he just had a baby tuft of hair I could manage it.

How deeply does he sleep?

Also a mobile hairdresser at home might work better.

failing that - pineapple it out of his eyes.

I don’t think it’s worth the battle. Tie it up off his face (to keep clean and to try to swerve the nits) and forget about it. Unless you dig your heels in and make a big deal about it, at which point it becomes a thing and a battle of wills, chances are in 6 months he’ll ask haircut because toddlers are very changeable.

This is a good point. The first time he had a cut (about 9 months ago) he watched his Grandad get his cut first. We still had to hold and distract DS then though and it took ages… think we only managed it to be honest as he was so much smaller/younger! Grandad has now shaved his head so perhaps we’ll have to go with DH next time 😂. DS’s little friends don’t have much hair yet.

It will be interesting to see if this happens and whether it bothers him or not…Before his first haircut everyone thought he was a girl but obviously he was too young to understand…that was about a year ago. I’m not fussed but just want him to be comfortable.

Have you tried one of those specialist places for children, they get to play with toys, sit in a car for the hair cut, watch tv, anything goes really. It’s a bit too expensive but for us it was a good way to get the children used to haircuts and now they go to a regular hairdresser or barber. I used to go to the play area / cafe on non-haircut days as well, as it helped get them used to the whole environment. Not sure whether you have something like this near you …?

I haven’t managed to find one nearer than 45 mins drive and dread going all that way for it to fail lol. But maybe will go there once he asks for a haircut, I can show him pictures of it etc.

My DS was mistaken for a girl on lots of occasions by random strangers but he didn't find it upsetting, as he's not been raised to feel that "girl" is the ultimate derogatory insult, so his masculinity isn't that fragile.

Honestly, let it go. It's one of the areas he's got some control at that age, along with what he refuses to eat/drink/wear, so pick your battles. The more you try and push it the more of a thing it will become. If you let it go, it will quickly pass.

I dont have kids but my nephew was like this. they just let it go proper long and to keep it out of his face they used one of those hairband things I think footballers use

Perhaps his dad needs to take him a few times so he can watch Daddy having his hair cut.

Someone did once tell me that some kids don't like their hair being cut because they think of their hair as being an integral part of them and they can't bear the thought of a piece of themselves being chopped off and thrown away.

Id leave it. It'll grow so that it can be tied/clipped back. Ds2 never wanted a hair cut, abd had the most beautiful slightly curly hair. 2 terms at primary school and he had a short back and sides 😭

Hes old enough to understand that it needs to be brushed, make that part of the deal

We called going to the barber's "a trim".
DS 1 thought a hair cut would hurt, like a cut finger. I stopped calling it that and DS2 and 3 never had an issue. Might be worth trying.

As someone who died on this hill when DS1 was little, i can confirm it is not a hill to die on.

but if you are up for it, someone coming to the house was miles better.

We started early (just over a year).

Picked the right time of day (absolutely has to be 10am). Whenever they're usually reasonably calm, not too hungry, not too sleepy.

Steps of distraction. A toy never had before, favourite book, YouTube, dummy. Enough for something new every couple of mins if needed. Even at home its a struggle to get my lo focussed on one thing for length of haircut.

Started on my knee, lots of engagement and distraction, watched dad getting a cut first.

Even then sometimes just temperament.