Can your family afford snacking and random grazing?

[TransAdmiralsAreAdmirals]

DC are grumpy because we don't allow random grazing and ask that they let me know when they're planning to prepare food using high-value ingredients or ingredients which may reasonably form a central component of a family meal.

I buy enough packed lunch items to last them both for the week, and much prefer it if I don't have to buy replacements if someone eats extra bags of crisps or snacks on extra packets of raisins or grain bars or similar.

Ditto preparing snacks between mealtimes: making toast, or bowls of pasta or cereal, or making fruit smoothies, or baking cupcakes.
Mine will get bowls of frozen peas or sweetcorn to snack on, so I often open the freezer to find empty bags.

Or unlimited condiments, for that matter -oodles of ketchup, sweet chilli sauce or mayo etc.

Or raiding the fruit bowl; there's enough fruit for everyone to have a couple of pieces per day but not to eat 3 bananas in a day, for instance.

We eat 3 square meals a day; quality home-cooked / prepared food and always have fruit available, so they're not going hungry. DC1 in particular insists that all their friends have free reins in the kitchen and that their cupboards are stuffed to the gunnels with snacky foods to which they help themselves with gay abandon, citing fridge raids of quantities of items I could never sustain in our home on our budget: I literally couldn't afford to stock lots of grazing foods in case someone feels a bit bored or peckish.

Can you, and do you, keep plentiful reserves of snacks which your DC are allowed to help themselves to?

As a child we were never allowed snacks - besides an apple, banana or an orange. And we had to ask permission before having it. Mealtimes were strict - one meal was cooked and you had to eat every bite, whether you loved it or hated it. No seconds.

When I went to other people’s houses and the kids could help themselves to snacks, it blew my mind. If I’d opened the fridge at home and helped myself to one bite of anything, I would have been reprimanded. And it also blew my mind that other families didn’t force their kids to eat foods they really didn’t like.

As a consequence, my children always have a kitchen full of snacks. They can help themselves whenever they are hungry. I’ve emphasised healthy eating and making good choices and luckily they are all sensible with the free rein they have.

Maybe my childhood example is quite extreme ……… but it’s a miserable place to be as a kid. And I’ve had lifelong disordered eating - having experienced both anorexia and obesity. So I really don’t want the same for my kids.

Yes, teens are never full, especially sporty boys.

It must be hard being brought up in houses with strict rules about food. If somebody eats an extra packet of crisps then fine if they eat six packets not fine. Sounds more like an institution from a Dickens novel.

It's not a free for all here, but I always let them have whatever they want from the fruit bowl and I'd not restrict stuff like peanut butter on toast, or yoghurt. They can't munch an entire box of biscuits or eat 12 bags of crisps in a day, but they do need to snack sometimes (all the times) so I think it's good to have some foods they can be trusted with. Bananas, toast/bread, apples and supermarket own brand yoghurt or plain yoghurt isn't wildly pricey or the kind of food they'll purely eat for pleasure. I'd hate to feel they were hungry often or felt like the cupboards were locked, and I don't think it's healthy food behaviour either.

Wet have a shelf for snacking in the fridge. The rule is stuff at the front had to be eaten first and when the shelf is empty, it’s not getting refilled until shopping day. I add bowls of leftovers, bolognaise , curry or shepherds pie. But I also have things like pork pies, salami and sliced cheese for home made lunchables. Home made Pots of jelly with fruit or tapioca balls in are cheap and easy to make. I also make my own yogurt and pot that up, same with home made rice pudding. Not all at the same time, but on rotation. But main food items on other shelves are off limits.

I think you have to state which foods in your home are available for snacking. So if you are short of money, then things like toast, noodles and plain cereal.

I think it’s a bit miserable to not feel
free to eat snacks in your own home as and when, within reasonable limits. So, no, I don’t ration my kid’s snack intake. If they are overindulging too close to a meal I do say ‘ok. Enough dinner is in an hour’ or whatever. A reasonable balance rather than aggressively policing the fridge/cupboards. I try to always have healthy snacks such as fruit and veg available, and inexpensive items like bread and jam, plus limited quantities of more expensive stuff like yogurts, babybels/cheese strings, crisps, fairy cakes savoury rolls/small pies etc. But if the expensive stuff goes in a couple of days they don’t get more until the next weekly shop. Obviously if I’m feeling the pinch budget wise the expensive snacks are reduced or dinner get bought in - but I would still always have cheese and crackers or cherry tomatoes or something they can snack on.

OP if you're still on here and reading these responses I'm finding this to be quite amusing, man, you ask a simple question and you certainly get a deluge of answers don't you?

I've read all your posts and you sound to be quite reasonable. I don't think you're starving your children. I don't think you're being controlling of their food.
In fact I think you're being quite generous by including extra pocket money and allowances for them to buy what they want when they want. (I never had that growing up, I worked three jobs from the time I was 12 to the time I was 19 to be able to afford whatever I wanted and mostly, what I wanted was to save for University so I almost never got snacks)

The fact that they're going through the cupboards at night and eating all your food like a bunch of locusts more likely is because they are bored / think they're hungry but they're not really hungry.
I'd almost guarantee it although yes it is true that growing teenagers do require more calories, more than likely this is boredom snacking.
And what you're mentioning about them using up all the condiments and all the dips and all the sauces in the fridge? Yeah, I have a sibling like that. A condiment that should last a family of six four to six weeks, he will consume in two sittings and see nothing wrong with it because he likes dips and sauces, loves to slather them all over his food.
And it's so incredibly frustrating because, you sound like you're the main person who does the grocery shopping and planning, and making the meals. And if you think there's something in the fridge that you're going to use for supper and then you come down in the morning and it's all been consumed, you just throw your hands up and go what the hell!!

And no, mentioning that your children go into the freezer to open and eat the packages of sweet corn and peas and all that kind of thing, that's not abuse for God sakes, I used to do the same thing. They're large packages, relatively inexpensive, I'd pour half a container of frozen peas into a bowl, microwave it, throw a knob of butter on top, and eat it as a snack. I still do.

And for those saying that your daughters eating frozen sweet corn is going to give them food poisoning, are the girls actually eating at Frozen and uncooked? Or are they cooking it first such as heating it up in the microwave or on the stove top? I really doubt they're eating it frozen like ice cream but if they are, then yes, there can be a listeria contamination just like with anything else that's raw, raw foods there's always an increased chance of a contaminant. Cooking the food does decrease that risk. There's nothing inherently wrong with sweet corn. So, I think you're getting a bit of alarmist advice on that front.

If your daughter's like to snack on frozen vegetables and you can get huge (like 2 to 5 kg sized family packs) a frozen vegetables that they like, then yeah, if it's inexpensive, tell them to snack on that. It'll work out too inexpensive per gigantic serving even though that should be enough for an entire family meal, and they're eating it in one night, well, at least there's a lot of fiber in it.

I hate to say it but if they're being that locust like in their eating habits, where you go downstairs and you've got a full kitchen and you come down in the morning and all the food is gone, you might have to lay some ground rules for them, this isn't being controlling, this isn't being abusive, they're the ones who are out of control and abusing the family open food policy.

But if I were you, aside from putting limits on things (like for instance, you each can have one banana after 8:00 p.m. only please, I don't want to come downstairs and find that 8 bananas are gone)
Consider purchasing huge family sized bulk portions of inexpensive filling food such as low sugar cereal, frozen vegetables, and air popped popcorn. All those things are very cheap and can be filling. And more than likely it's not that they're eating because the poor girls are so hungry and they're starving, it's just because they feel in a snacky mood so they reach for the first crunchy / salty / sweet easy to find thing that they can find.

There's a difference between eating out of hunger and eating out of habit. A lot of people can't tell the difference.

I would honestly feel that I had failed in life if my children had to resort to snacking on frozen peas and sweetcorn.

I grew up with a mum like you OP, it's taken me decades to recover from her obsessive control over food.

Frozen peas are healthy and cheap, and a wise choice, just buy more of the cheapest ones, ditto raisins buy a value bag and let then have them in all egg cup for sensible portion sizing etc etc.

Cheese dome with crackers, home made muffins or bought, tray bakes, banana bread, quiche. Always extra food like this around as well as vegetables and dips, fruit etc.

I'm astonished you're cross they're eating frozen vegetables, bananas, eggs, tofu! These aren't foods you eat out of boredom, they're clearly hungry. If it's causing you inconvenience, send them to the corner shop to replenish what you need.

My kids snack - usually those little pretzel crackers, boiled eggs which I keep in the fridge, cheeses, oranges etc. I keep lunchbox staples in a separate box so they know not to touch those.

We have lots of food available for snacking. We are fortunate to be able to afford it and no one in the household is overweight.

if you are tight on cash then porridge is a good filler. Own brand cereals. Cheap packets of biscuits and crackers (less nutritious). Toast.

Don’t ration food. It is one of the common themes I see in people with eating disorders and emotional difficulties (doctors in mental health). Work out how to feed the family on your budget if you possibly can.

i provide snacks.

I also have the rule that once you've eaten them, they're not getting replaced until next shopping trip.

My oldest has a very restricted diet (ARFID) so snacking is encouraged to support the limited meals he eats.

The 16yo only eats two meals as she's not a breakfast person, so again, i encourage snacking to support that she misses a whole meal.

I try and keep the snacks nutritious and filling.

I can understand that you don't want to spend a fortune on pre-packaged snack foods however expecting "just fruit" and in exactly the proportions you buy seems very restricting for teens who usually eat more than adults. It takes no account of personal preferences - do you consult them on which fruits to buy? If I'm really hungry a banana is much more filling than a few grapes.

Many people feel better if they eat every 4-6 hours.

Is there any reason that you cannot put a snack tub in the fridge with stuff they are allowed to use as sandwich fillings/on toast - cheeses, meats, humus etc and ask them not use other stuff without asking.

Having cupboards full of crisps etc is unhealthy. I have a friend from a very deprived background who always has loads of stuff and I think it’s a reaction to her upbringing.

I don’t really get the angst. If you’re hungry have some cereal or a piece of toast. Or some fruit from the fruit bowl within reason. But if dinners in an hour wait.

So eat but in a sensible, cheap way.

You need to start specifying what they can snack on and what they can't.

Maybe have a shelf with available food (bread, cereal, other cheaper snacks) in the cupboard and the same in the fridge.

Either that, or when they eat the lamb intended for dinner tomorrow's dinner, serve basic pasta or baked potatoes and beans for dinner and explain why. 'It should have been lamb tonight, but it was all eaten as snacks yesterday.'

Bananas all gone? No more bought until Monday. Have an apple.
OR given the abundance of apples, show them a couple of ways to cook them so it's not just a cold, raw apple.

Also, buy more veg that can be snacked on raw. Carrots. Cucumber. Tomatoes (buy the cheapest baby toms). Celery.

It really doesn't matter what their friends think or do. It's your home and you are the one buying the groceries.

Yeah it's really important to me that my DC aren't restricted at all when it comes to food

😂

You can't give kids free rein, that's not feasible.

Fruit is rationed in our house - 1 piece per person per day. Vegetables, bread, cheese, nuts, eggs, crackers, pasta, milk, cereal they can have as much as they like. As they're very active teenage boys they get through a fair bit. They do moan that other families have better snacks (pocket pizzas/pot noodles/microwave burgers etc) but I just laugh that off.

Totally agree. Or they'll eat through all the good, expensive stuff as snacks, doubling the grocery bill.

They have pocket money left. Crisps all gone? Buy themselves more.

My 16 yo DD doesn’t snack so much but my 15yo DS eats all of the time. I make food/ meals & he will eat them but then be hungry later & at times he’s home, he will graze all day plus meals. I buy food he can eat for snacks usually cheap things like pasta, eggs, tinned spaghetti, bread etc

I think it's quite controlling,

I have crisps, chocolates, fruit, cereal, vegetables, crackers etc, which my DC can snack on.

I have brioche and tea biscuits at home + some fruit like bananas and oranges which I buy in a weekly shopping. 2 kids, they've been taught not to eat cr*p, they don't like crisps etc. The oldest one started asking for a pizza though, so I started buying a tiny one from the nearby takeaway once a week and he collects it himself.
BTW, nobody needs unlimited snacks - they're really unhealthy. It's a bad habit and it makes everybody fat and ill, especially kids. Look at the photographs from 40 years ago and how everybody used to be thinner. Snacks were not a thing back then.

The lack of insight from some so posters in understanding that some families just can't afford to offer snacks on tap is just astonishing.

What's with all the 'fresh fruit'? Nobody is going to be having rotten fruit in stock are they?