Can your family afford snacking and random grazing?

[TransAdmiralsAreAdmirals]

DC are grumpy because we don't allow random grazing and ask that they let me know when they're planning to prepare food using high-value ingredients or ingredients which may reasonably form a central component of a family meal.

I buy enough packed lunch items to last them both for the week, and much prefer it if I don't have to buy replacements if someone eats extra bags of crisps or snacks on extra packets of raisins or grain bars or similar.

Ditto preparing snacks between mealtimes: making toast, or bowls of pasta or cereal, or making fruit smoothies, or baking cupcakes.
Mine will get bowls of frozen peas or sweetcorn to snack on, so I often open the freezer to find empty bags.

Or unlimited condiments, for that matter -oodles of ketchup, sweet chilli sauce or mayo etc.

Or raiding the fruit bowl; there's enough fruit for everyone to have a couple of pieces per day but not to eat 3 bananas in a day, for instance.

We eat 3 square meals a day; quality home-cooked / prepared food and always have fruit available, so they're not going hungry. DC1 in particular insists that all their friends have free reins in the kitchen and that their cupboards are stuffed to the gunnels with snacky foods to which they help themselves with gay abandon, citing fridge raids of quantities of items I could never sustain in our home on our budget: I literally couldn't afford to stock lots of grazing foods in case someone feels a bit bored or peckish.

Can you, and do you, keep plentiful reserves of snacks which your DC are allowed to help themselves to?

I agree. Make a toasty, cereal etc., fruit, but snack endlessly on crisps, chocolate, biscuits? No.
I buy them. But when they are gone, they are gone.

I have three very hungry boys ranging from 14-21 and I have limits on snacks but there are certain things they can always have like toast, cereal, noodles (cheap carbs). They are allowed to eat anything out of the fridge freezer but not the stand alone freezer. I label leftovers in the fridge as not to be eaten if there is enough for another meal.

Haven't rtft but in case noone has suggested it could it be that you free up a cupboard and a shelf in the fridge which is available for snacks? As in everything in this cupboard/on this shelf is a free for all and not intended for a recipe later in the week etc. That way you're not going to go and make a meal only to find a percentage of the ingredients missing, and also they can visually see what's available in a quick and easy way.

Here we fill the snack cupboard once, and keep stuff for packed lunches etc in another zone. Imo the snack cupboard is well stocked, but it's up to them to portion it out. If they go in on day 1 and eat all the 'best stuff' it doesn't get replaced till the following shop.

Also, if you haven't already, could get them involved in the food shop/making the list? Teach them about budgeting and how a lot of pre-packaged snack foods cost more than making a sandwich or having veg sticks and hummus or fruit and peanut butter etc. It sounds like they already cook for themselves so maybe this already happens, just throwing some ideas out there.

I'm really not trying to control DCs eating,

They can have as much as they want from the fruit bowl or stored fruits and normally I'd expect them to have one or two fruit items a day,
@TransAdmiralsAreAdmirals

On one hand you're saying they can have as much as they want but then you put your own expectation on that.

One or two pieces of fruit a day isn't a lot at all.

Listen to your dds, they're saying they want more access to food.

I can understand if it's a budget issue and other family members go hungry because one has scoffed all the weekly food out of boredom.
But that's not a problem for us and no, I don't restrict what DC can eat. We discuss healthy eating, so they would make good choices and not eat full bars of chocolate and family sized bags of crisps, but they have full access to fridge, freezer, cupboards and fruit bowl.
They are slim.

Sorry if I’ve missed someone already saying this, but you said you don’t plate up meals just place everything in the middle. This is a lovely approach BUT does mean you can’t be sure what quantities they’re consuming at meal times- so they might be thriving on the ‘six small meals a day’ approach rather than 3 square meals like we were brought up with.
Practically, I do agree with PPs that you maybe need to ease off. There are plenty of ways of upping the snack options cheaply, home baking, batch prepping veg, breadsticks, basic biscuits such as Nice biscuits (they fill a hole but are too boring to overeat on). Also I’d love my kids to voluntarily snack on fruit and berries so be thankful it sounds healthy.
Another option is just to sharpie a cross on food packets that you’ve planned into meals so they know not to eat them!

We have one kid who eats much more than the other, so when I buy snacks they are divided into two boxes. If hungry kid chooses to eat all his crisps then tough, the crisps are gone! The other kid still has his crisps left.

We do the same for all junk food really, I set up a reasonable amount they can have in a week and it’s their choice how to manage that.

that’s more for health than cost but works for us.

If yours are young teens they are old enough for a conversation about the convenience and cost saving important of the meal plan though, so they really shouldn’t be taking stuff that you need.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you get frustrated with your children trying to eat protein. Of all the unhealthy crap they can eat your kids choose prawns, cheese and eggs and you get frustrated with them? Seriously? I’m really not able to understand your reasoning I’m afraid.

Culturally, I come from a country (frequently noted for the healthiness of the general populace) where snacking between meals really wasn't a thing when I grew up, and I definitely noticed the prevalence of grazing throughout the day when I came to the UK

Yes, and this will be one reason why your native country's noted for it's population's health and the UK has an obesity crisis

It's true that teens can eat like holes, but I've yet to see an explanation of why other nations' ones can manage on the three substantial meals a day you're already providing and ours apparently can't

Maybe remind them that, if they stop the endless snacking, their systems will adjust not to expect it, and otherwise carry right on as you are

Restricting food for children only builds up food issues in later life. we never ever restricted food in any way. Home cooked from scratch meals 3 times a day plus a cupboard with sweets, crisps etc in, yoghurts in the fridge and lots of healthy snacks around but ultimately they chose what they wanted and when they wanted it because I wanted to teach them how to control their eating. I have met so many kids whose parents have a no chocolate rule or similar who come over then gorge themselves senseless on the stuff that isnt available at home. what does that teach them about listening to their inner food voice? We regularly had easter eggs and christmas chocs just lying around until they went off.

all of my children are a healthy weight. they can all cook and they all eat balanced diets now that they are older teens/adults.

My experience as a child with food which was weaponised by my parent - only got treats if you were "good", fat shamed regularly etc etc made me realise that if you give your kids the right tools then they arent condemned to the life of obesity that I have been.

Missing the point, but I’m really impressed that they snack on frozen peas and sweetcorn, very healthy!

Good grief we were only allowed bread and butter and milk as in between meal snacks and it seems to have left me with a very healthy relationship to food

you don’t get an unhealthy relationship to food from it being managed in a way that is healthy and affordable

its not “restricting food” - that type of talk is emotional manipulation

there will be households with an “eat what you like policy “ and there will be homes full of crap pretending to be food , and children will always try to make out they are hard done by

do remember that teens especially can need way more calories than anyone else in the house so make sure there is enough. Frozen peas are dirt cheap

and come down hard on them eating what they shouldn’t - no snacks left ? Sorry you will have to go hungry. Not enough dinner ? Well x ate their share already

Is it, buffalo.

We always have DC’s snacking food in abundance. DH and I have a stock of our favourite snacking items but we don’t tend to snack much at all.

It's not really about affording it for me, we just don't fit into the 'three square meal' bracket, and for some reason society views anything outside of that as a snack and 'eating between meals'. We do usually have something for snacking, especially handy if my daughter has friends round, but I kind of steer her towards fruit or a wee sandwich, crackers, rice cakes, cereal bars, stuff like that. She often eats several small meals - not three square meals - and that at times will include I guess a 'snack plate'. I don't tend to buy things like crisps or chocolate too much, again unless she specifically has friends coming over - they've evolved into something she will either buy for herself when she's in the shop or ask if we can go to the shop for.

Incorrect. It's 'free rein' (the term comes from horse-riding).

This is something I feel massively guilty about at the moment but no at the moment I can't afford snacks or even things like yogurts, extra fruit etc... I'm providing 3 meals a day but my children do often complain of being hungry. But if money wasn't an issue I would definitely buy more 'snacks' and ingredients for things smoothies.

Yeah I always have things they can snack on. I don't want them to feel restricted. They're skinny and active children and I don't buy junk.

Fruit and crackers. No sweet snacks. No crisps. If they are hungry they can eat an apple. We have thousands of them from August to November. If the apple doesn’t appeal, they aren’t really hungry.

‘Reign’ is what the king or queen does.
Reins are for horses, or perhaps very small children.

I can afford lots of crisps and biscuits but I’d prefer the kids don’t eat multiple per day.

In our house there is the general understanding that fruit, toast and cereal are unlimited, but that “unhealthy” stuff should be once per day and stuff that is obviously for meals shouldn’t be eaten for snacks.

We don’t really buy snacks but my two have never been big eaters, they only have two meals a day as they don’t like eating before school.
They only tend to need something extra when they are having a growth spurt and I don’t restrict what they have, if they want a sandwich, toast, some crackers, fruit, whatever, they know they can eat if they are hungry.

It depends - my kids would always ask if it was ok to have something, and typically I never refuse (unless dinner is about to be on the table in 5 minutes!!) But we're not a very big 'snacking' household.

They wouldn't be allowed to just help themselves to food for this very reason. In my house, as in my parent's house and my in-laws house, whoever does the food shopping and meal planning is in charge of the food for that week and gets a final say on what is ok to be eaten between meals.
We always have things in though for snacking...crackers, fruit, chocolate and biscuits etc, so it would never happen that someone would eat a whole pack of ham which was meant for lunches.
Also it sounds super greedy for someone to be eating three bananas in one go!

I specifically go out of my way to ensure a full stock of snacks and condiments. I can’t believe you’re restricting your children from eating. If the snacking impacts main meals then of course restrict but if it doesn’t, go forth and allow them to eat. They’re growing. They need it.

I don't think there is any issue in setting boundaries around what they can and can't eat and if they eat everything they are allowed to eat before the end of the week or shopping period then they do without - stick with toast or boring cereal like shreddies and weetabix.

I grew up eldest of 6 all reasonably close in age so food was a huge thing - we were allowed fruit from the bowl (Mum put fruit in daily keeping a stash elsewhere to even out the shop over the week) and she often baked a cake for after school snack. I think part of the health issues today are caused by continued availability of food all day - what are meal times for - often its boredom eating and we need to learn that not snack after about age 12 is the norm even for teen boys - just make sure there is enough good healthy snacks that they can access and make sure they know what is out of bounds e.g. peas and sweetcorn for meals not snacks