Can your family afford snacking and random grazing?

[TransAdmiralsAreAdmirals]

DC are grumpy because we don't allow random grazing and ask that they let me know when they're planning to prepare food using high-value ingredients or ingredients which may reasonably form a central component of a family meal.

I buy enough packed lunch items to last them both for the week, and much prefer it if I don't have to buy replacements if someone eats extra bags of crisps or snacks on extra packets of raisins or grain bars or similar.

Ditto preparing snacks between mealtimes: making toast, or bowls of pasta or cereal, or making fruit smoothies, or baking cupcakes.
Mine will get bowls of frozen peas or sweetcorn to snack on, so I often open the freezer to find empty bags.

Or unlimited condiments, for that matter -oodles of ketchup, sweet chilli sauce or mayo etc.

Or raiding the fruit bowl; there's enough fruit for everyone to have a couple of pieces per day but not to eat 3 bananas in a day, for instance.

We eat 3 square meals a day; quality home-cooked / prepared food and always have fruit available, so they're not going hungry. DC1 in particular insists that all their friends have free reins in the kitchen and that their cupboards are stuffed to the gunnels with snacky foods to which they help themselves with gay abandon, citing fridge raids of quantities of items I could never sustain in our home on our budget: I literally couldn't afford to stock lots of grazing foods in case someone feels a bit bored or peckish.

Can you, and do you, keep plentiful reserves of snacks which your DC are allowed to help themselves to?

We minimise processed snacks, but toast, cereal (wheat biscuit type not sugary) veggies and hummus and to an extent crackers are fair game. Fruit is available but they can’t have more than 2 apples or 3 bananas a day. We do have to top up several times a week on these things. My kids could absolutely not get by without snacking, they are active and the 10yo in particular does get hungry between meals. They could never just grab the packaged snacks because I just dont think that’s healthy; if they could of course they’d go for those and juice etc instead of healthier foods.

But you also mention that they used the butter planned for something else when making cookies - you should have enough butter for impromptu cookies + what you had planned.

Bananas, bread, yoghurt, cereals etc, I would just buy more.

For other items, I’m not shocked that you’d like them to ask first, my DC ask us and I remember having to ask my parents. However, asking should be about ‘what can I eat’ and lead to you challenging that they want to eat.

Mine love frozen peas! It’s a bit of a treat actually 😁 we ate them growing up too, we’d steal them when mum was cooking. Respectfully yours, a well fed and not desperate middle aged mum.

Yes, they're always allowed to eat what we have in. I provision for 2 dinners per teen...a light one when they get home from school so things like beans on toast, a jacket potato, salmon/cream cheese bagel, pesto pasta or whatever and then part of the family dinner when they're back from training. (3 weekday nights.)

They wouldn't use a pack of chicken breasts or mince without asking, but cheese, ham, pasta, sauces, fruit, snack stuff... everything else really, yes they're welcome to. Just let me know if we're out of something.

I think you need to recalibrate your opinion of what is an adequate amount of food for two clearly hungry and growing young teen girls.

They are clearly hungry if they are eating as much as you say they are eating as snacks (and the kind of food they are eating as snacks isn't junk either) as well as meals.

Stop buying expensive items like berries and items with little nutritional value like granola bars, and buy two dozen bananas a week, twice as much cottage cheese as you buy now, other cheese, more bread that you think you need, big jars of peanut butter, big containers of nuts, twice as many eggs as you buy now and hardboil nine of them to keep in the fridge, lots and lots of yogurt, and tins of tuna. See how they manage.

You don't have to buy the most expensive brand of cheese, bread, nuts, tuna, etc. You just need to buy more than you do now. Quantity matters when teens are growing. Their food doesn't have to be top of the line, but you have to keep it coming.

You also need to spend time in the kitchen or keep a closer eye on what they're doing in there.

And yes, frozen peas are a good snack!

Yes Ive learned something here today that I shouldnt be eating frozen sweetcorn without cooking it. I never knew this and just chuck handfuls in a salad for work, it thaws out on my desk and I eat it

I used to eat frozen peas as a child, love them

This whole thread is ridiculous. All you need to do is look at other countries where they dont have such an issue with overweight or obesity. People and children are not snacking all the live long day, they're not all 'emotional eaters' or have eating disorders. They just eat how we used to eat around 50 years ago before we changed the food culture here to be snacks and processed foods more predominately.

OP is right to be able to say this is for this day and that is for that day, that isnt bullying (incredible word for this sitation) or restricting their food.

We don't do a lot of expensive snacks.

The children can have bread with jam/cheese/ham, oats/cereals, pasta/noodles, fruits and vegetables.
We don't have a limit on these and it's enough. They have breakfast/lunch/dinner as well.

I buy my snacks in Aldi- much cheaper and therefore accessible. My children eat constantly- despite 3 solid meals a day. And fridges full of fruit!

Just catching up on the thread before going to work, so apologies for not responding to other messages this morning yet. I must say that they often leave wrappers in the place they got the snack from: the empty outer bag of a multi-pack of crisps, the cardboard box which contained the last granola bar, left in the cupboard. An empty milk bottle in the fridge. A jar of honey from which you really could scrape another spoonful popped back in the cupboard. I think it's just a thing they do. Like I said in one of my more recent posts, they don't hide their snacking -we just bicker about what is reasonable when I feel like they should spare a thought for meal-planning and the food budget.

There is always a variety of fruit; the bananas were just an example. We have literally 100s of apples wrapped in cold storage, a freezer full of berries from the garden, as well as the regular fruit bowl staples such as a variety of oranges, satsumas, grapes, the odd pineapple, mango or kiwis etc. They can have as much as they want from the fruit bowl or stored fruits and normally I'd expect them to have one or two fruit items a day, it's just frustrating when I notice one variety gone the day after I bought it.

My DD loves healthy food too ( I commented this upthread ) but to me personally.... if op is opening her freezer and finding empty bags.... to me that looks like their snacking in secret, because otherwise she would know they'd finished the pea's off?

My kids can eat what they want when they want but I'm very aware of what their eating and I never go into my cupboards or fridge//freezer ect and find things unexpectedly empty or missing.

We have some chocolate and lollipops etc lying around, DD is currently working her way through slme frozen eclairs from the freezer. But otherwise no, we have fruit, olives etc. if she’s hungry though she gets fed.

But does it matter if the bananas are gone within a day? They can eat the apples and berries for the rest of the week.
It sounds to be like your biggest concern is that you think they’re greedy. It wouldn’t matter what they’re snacking on, you don’t actually want them doing it at all.

Stop buying it then. The children can have what you decide. You don't have to buy chips, granola or what ever. Or if it's gone first thing they can have fruit, apples and berries from the garden the rest of the week. It's fine.

Yes. Teenaged boys here! They are always starving… they have various things such as, frozen fruits, yoghurt, home made “healthy” flapjacks, corn cakes, protein bars, toast, pasta, pancakes, cucumber, tomatoes, humous, bananas, apples, satsumas…. Depending on what they can find. If we do have healthy snacks in, they will go to the shop and buy crap. I’d rather they eat things made from real ingredients as much as possible.

OP I get you. It sounds like your DC are eating far too much but probably have overactive metabolisms so get away with it.
It's like my DH who eats a loaf of bread with a whole pack of ham and multipack of crisps in a dingle sitting as a snack after a very generous dinner where he finished what would have lasted any other family 3 days.
Yet he is skinny.

If they’re a healthy weight then they’re not eating ‘too much’, they’re eating exactly what their body needs.

Mine love making smoothies op - maybe get yours a blender and they can chuck in some yogurt with your frozen berries?
My 16yr old is currently obsessed with protein so puts a scoop of protein powder in his - fills him up every day.

If you have a limited budget for food each week then children have got to understand what food is available each week and the when it's gone it's gone principle. Doesn't matter what other families do! Your children may not like it but that's tough and life! (I was raised like that and it's set me up well - remember my mum being shocked at other family snacking as we grew up).
I think you just have to be strict with them - make sure there is plenty of bread for toasting with something like butter and then nut butter/marmite/jam topping and that's it. Maybe some dried fruit/nuts as well.
Any food that is bought and allocated for meals etc is off limits. They can't just raid any food they like. This is standing them in good stead for budgeting in the future as adults.
Also be aware that upf products can be addictive/play havoc with our bodies digestion/mental relationship with food, so need to keep them to a minimum.
Maybe sit them down when you are food planning for the week within a budget and explain what you are doing. Possibly get them to organise it some weeks. Also have a shopping list on the go, so if things get finished, they have to be added to the list.
I have 2 very active primary age children and my son in particular needs a lot of food in a day. However we plan this into the week's food allowance - mainly sandwiches and fruit. They know there are certain things they can just go and eat but it is limited and they are fine with it. No signs of any eating problems.

OP, MN is weird about food. I'd take a look at metrics on the health of the nation, the actual calories teens need, and carry on ensuring they have access to the snacks you provide.

If over 60% of UK adults are overweight and teen weight is increasing, it will likely skew the answers you receive.

Mine are grown up but when they still lived at home, there was always a full fruit bowl, milk and cereal, and bread with toppings to make a sandwich / toast if they were hungry between meals.

They knew that if they ate the yoghurts or snacks set aside for school lunches that they would not be replaced, so they tended not to eat those. It worked fine, they eat sensibly as adults.

Yes, we always have snack food.

Usually some pretzels, houmous, various veg that can be cut into sticks, fruit, sometimes we have cereal bars, always have crackers and philadelphia available.

I'd imagine its probably £10 extra a week (we'd have the veg in the fridge anyway).

Take them shopping with you for a weekly shop. Use cash, a meal planner and a list. They can be in charge. Let them see what can be bought on the budget available. They sound old enough to understand budget and fairness.

If it's due to a tight budget, then I totally understand where you're coming from. We had a couple of very tight years, years ago. I'd buy value biscuits, whatever fruit/snacking veggies I could and there'd sometimes be cereal bars/crisps (usually added to lunchboxes a couple of times a week), these really had to be shared out in the week so there was enough for lunches and a couple of snacks a day for everyone - in reality I'd got without towards the end of the week, so DC could have. If anyone was really hungry on top of that, it had to be a slice of bread/toast.

If they’re eating frozen veggies they must be desperate. I’d think about what you can have available.

I was raised with lots of restrictions around food and it’s created a really unhealthy relationship with food in general. I’m very overweight and am terrible at controlling myself. I am doing the absolute opposite with my kids - we do have cupboards stuffed with snacks and my kids and their friends are welcome to any of it. They eat 3 proper meals and lots of protein and veggies and fruit, but if they fancy a lollipop or a packet of crisps or whatever really they’re welcome to it. My daughter (13) is great at self regulating, my son (9) does still need some structure as he has a sweet tooth. But personally I think learning how to navigate all the food they’ll have available to them in a few years when they have more of their own money is super important. I struggle a lot with this even now.

of course I’m fortunate to not have to worry about the money - we keep an eye on it and buy generic / Aldi. My daughter does a lot of baking which costs pennies. So if it’s a concern around money I’d suggest letting them bake - a tray of fairy cakes or flapjack etc will be really cheap and give them options for the week.