How to stop worrying about work (in the middle of the night!!)

[MarshaMarshaMarsha]

Going through a stressful period at work with lots on and a massive project which will be ongoing for the next six months. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and can’t stop overthinking the same worries, mostly are things that haven’t yet even happened but could go wrong. How do you train yourself to stop this, as I know that worrying won’t do any good. It’s now affecting my day as I’m so tired from lack of sleep!! I try writing anything down to remind me to look into it the next day but it keeps going round in my head. I just need to switch off!

I listen to an audiobook just loudly enough for me to hear. Something familiar with a soothing voice. Set a timer and I usually fall asleep. I also take magnesium glycinate, 5htp and saffron at bedtime. I pay attention to my breathing and make sure to take belly breaths and properly exhale.

I also sometimes set an alarm with a label for the next day with either things I need to do or to remind myself to make a decision about something. Seems to help postpone the worry so I can sleep.

I second listening to something. I listen to the Sleepy History podcast on my phone and set a timer so it switches off after an hour. Just loud enough that I can hear it without it being too distracting and then I focus on lying in the dark with my eyes closed and listening to it. I'm usually back asleep within 10 minutes or so and if I'm not, I'm resting and learning something.

I wish I knew! Only thing that works a bit for me is going to bed later so I'm really really tired. Less sleep but better than waking up in the night worrying.

I had this, but to be fair I quit my job and looked for something less stressful (but I’m well aware that is not a viable option the majority of the time).

This helps me with night-time intrusive thoughts:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u4gZgnCy5ew&pp=ygU1am9uIGthYmF0IHppbm4gYm9keSBzY2FuIG1lZGl0YXRpb24gZ3VpZGVkIG1lZGl0YXRpb27SBwkJGwGjtWo3m0M%3D&cbrd=1

I already did this and am in a much lesser paid role but still massively overthink things. It’s ridiculous really!

Agree with listening to something. I prefer a radio 4 comedy I've listened to before so I'm not bothered if I fall asleep and miss it. I couldn't do audio books because I was just lying awake wondering what would happen next!

The other thing I do, and this might be weird, is I imagine a fantasy scenario and play it out. It takes a lot of attention so there isn't room to worry. So for example, I imagine I'm playing in a golf tournament and I play every hole out in my head (but it could anything!) After a while I get too tired to think and fall asleep.

I think a lot of people will have a go-to YouTube video which sends them to sleep, for me it's Dr Saul, I've been watching this video for years and it has never let me down

I promise myself I will worry about it in the morning. I have to truly believe I genuinely will properly think about tomorrow and it does seem to work

Watch trash TV after nice dinner and glass of wine and bath daily !

I think it's helpful to make a list of things you need to do and when you can do them. Then you can switch off.

I have this problem. My latest hack which I read somewhere (and it really works and is so simple) is:

Lie in bed
Shut eyes
Preferably very quiet surroundings
Start with A and work through to Z thinking of a word that has 3 letters, so Ape Bog Cat Dig etc.
If still awake move onto 4 letters Ache Ball
Then 5 letters.

So far I haven't got to mid way past 4 letters and I'm asleep.

It really helps to straighten out a brain that is jumping from thought to thought.

Lots of people say read this or that, but when I'm stressed that's the problem - I can't take in any more information.

Sometimes listening to something on Spotify like insomnia sounds, binaural beats for sleep, Enigma, can help with part of the process of feeling more grounded. I also used Sleep Stories (nonsensical stories to help you drift off) but then Id wake up half an hour later with the story still going on. Lavender spray on my pillow. Mageniusm glycinate 300mg 20 mins before bed. Weekly Epsom salts bath soak.

Am mid 40s with a deadline driven job so chucking everything I can at sleep.

Another tip DF gave me was to lie in bed and try and focus really hard on the back of my eyelids. It really works 😂 No idea if he was taking the piss when he told me but genuinely helps lol.

I think it's interesting you say you quit a more stressful job but still "massively overthink things". I think there's lots of helpful short term strategies here - I'll add melatonin into the mix. But I do wonder if you might benefit speaking to someone to think through why your job provokes anxiety for you specifically, what buttons does it press. I say this as someone who also has a stressful job and has been there. I have done quite a bit of work and come to realise it's not all the job and I need to own that some of it is me and actually that's really positive because it's meant I could do something about it. For me it was because of my need to be perfect and lots of shit that sat behind that. Working on that has meant I overthink things a lot less and am able to work through it when I do.
None of this is a short term fix but you deserve to be able to switch off fully from work.

There's also the I went to the market game. I used to play this when I did sleepovers on school nights.

I went to the market and I bought an apple
I went to the market and I bought an apple and a pear
I went to the market and I bought an apple and a pear and a banana

Etc. until you fall asleep. There's something about trying to remember words in bed that just makes you drift off. Normally you'd play it in a group but could do it on your own. By about eight things everyone's dropping off.

Could do anything..I went to the beach and took a bucket etc.

Work wise there's definitely something there about working on metacognition - how you think about thinking. I find it helpful to have very clear objectives and metrics and performance standards. If anything isn't clear, get clarity. I also find it helpful to then review everything I do - what's worked, what hasn't, what needs changing - on a regular basis - helps clear my brain of clutter.

Then there's planning ahead - I'm still working on this but having a clear view of what the next few months looks like, up to six months. I'm a visual thinker so use templates and spreadsheets on excel for planning.

I used to have this problem when I was dealing with a lot of stress in multiple areas of my life. My strategy was three-fold:

a) remind myself that if I forgot something for work, it ultimately wasn't that important. Nobody would die. Nobody would suffer irreparable harm. It would, at worst, be an inconvenience. Obviously if your job is something that's more life-critical than being an IT geek for a corporate then this might not be appropriate but such jobs are relatively rare.

b) Have a notebook and pen on my bedside table. I realised that a lot of the time what was going through my mind was stuff that wasn't necessarily vital but just stuff I didn't want to forget. It only took a minute or two to write it down and once it was on paper it was a lot easier to then put it out of my mind. This was for work stuff, kids stuff, me stuff, whatever.

c) Listen to audiobooks of novels I've already read. Terry Pratchett books worked for me because I've read nearly all of them multiple times over and the familiarity meant that I wasn't keeping myself awake to find out what happened next.

100% by changing job.

I know you said you write things down but is that before you go to bed?

I find I need a pen and paper on my bedside table to scribble down the thoughts in the middle of the night that won’t switch off (even if they’re not a “to do” list but more replaying or prepping conversations in your head for example. I just scribble it all out there and then).

Another word game that can be useful is to think of people you know - can be anyone and then use the letters in their name to describe them (not just random words, but ones that describe something real about their looks or character).

For example

Sassy
Argumentative
Reasonable
Articulate
Hard-working

Just keep going through different people you know…

The key is to give your brain something taxing enough that it can’t maintain the other stuff looping around in your head without being so taxing that the challenge itself keeps you awake.

(The latter part being why you try to use words that actually describe the person, because just random ones is too easy).

That is exactly what I am doing! I leave at Xmas.

I'm really curious-did it work? How do you sleep now?

I understand from the sleep research that the best ‘count sheep’ activity is to go through an everyday routine you have in very fine detail.

For example, your morning routine might start with, snooze alarm (while visualising your phone, hearing the noise), then lift duvet (visualising the colour, feel, of the duvet), move your left leg out of the bed, followed by your right, feel the floor, stand up, straightening and stretching…..you get the idea. Minute detail, recalling all your senses as you go through the very familiar routine.

Its incredibly diverting from any other thoughts and because it’s a routine your brain knows well, you can keep it going for a good while.

other than that, just remember your company doesn’t love you so try not to give such a shit

I like to mentally walk round my grandparents house and garden, trying to remember it room by room. I haven’t been there in over 40 years and they are long gone but I try to remember how it looked, how the tiles in the hall felt under my feet. The smell of apples in the kitchen. The feel of the rounded top of the wooden stool at the breakfast bar. The smell of frost in the garden.
Sometimes I’ll walk around some other place, like my old secondary school or the house we lived in when I was very small. But I always end up back at my grandparents house.

I am really struggling with this at the moment (thanks for the anxiety, perimenopause!).

I think of a word and then try to think of a word beginning with each letter. I might try some of the other puzzles mentioned above.

I have the Calm app and listen to things like the rain on window or forest sounds. I like the shipping forecast. My husband always says to out on a podcast but I think they're too interesting and I'd end up listening.

Ultimately what helped me most is making a list in the daytime of things I know to be true - my boss said he is pleased with my work, I have achieved x y z this quarter, I had good feedback from Mrs Jones last month, I know my job....

Then when my mind is giving me a confidence crisis in the middle of the night I read over this.