What makes someone a "partner"?

[Rollerful]

And why does it matter so much to some women people?

I hadn't really thought about it tbh, I use partner because I don't know of another suitable word, but I was telling a friend how supportive "DP" has been during a family crisis and she properly scolded me for calling him partner when we don't live together and have only been together a year.

We'll probably never live together and don't have any financial ties, but he is absolutely the person I turn to in any crisis and is just "there" for me even when I don't realise I need him.

Dad has been seriously ill. DP will drop everything to run errands associated with his care and has been coming to visit him in hospital at least twice a week, armed with books and sports reports Dad might enjoy.

My young adult DS has struggles emotionally and whilst DP has never tried to be a father figure, he has been an interested and supportive friend to him, which has helped me enormously. He's also taken him for driving practice because me doing that is a very bad idea

He turned up with dinner, when I had an unusual very late finish at work.

He came to see me in his lunch break when I was unwell.

We don't run a home together, but our lives are intertwined, and he supports all my career and other goals with practical help etc.

To me he feels like a partner, and I guess that's what matters, but I was taken aback by just how much it seemed to matter to this friend.

I mean, a colleague of mine who was known this guy for a wet week (well, about 5 weeks now) is calling him her partner which I'm trying hard not to roll my eyes at!

I don't know when it changes from boy/girlfriend to partner but I called my DH by boyfriend until we got engaged so partner never came into it for me.

As for why it matters on a message board, imagine two scenarios:

1. my partner (of 2 weeks) has problems with drinking, gambling, and cheating. What do I do?

2. my partner (who I have 3 young children with and am completely financially dependent upon) has problems with drinking, gambling, and cheating. What do I do?

people post the above without the clarification in parentheses. Respondents have no way of knowing if it is a brief fling or a well established relationship with major entanglements and huge legal and financial complications for exiting.

behavior that someone should absolutely not tolerate if they are dating might be something someone in a long term relationship should work through.

She’s not wrong though. Partner to me implies a relationship akin to marriage where you at least live together

Disagree, but then I'm in a profession where lots of people live apart for some of the time, even if they are married! Many of my colleagues have partners who live in different areas of the country, and a few in different countries and one even in a different continent. They live together on weekends and holidays and not the rest of the time, presumably as the OP does.

It's called 'LAT'- Living Apart Together and is much more common in either younger not married couples or in older couples who have been married but aren't now and want to maintain separate houses or lives at some level.

Your partner sounds ace, OP.

I dont have a partner ive never been married either.
I lived with 2 men in my life and both got kicked out not because of abuse but i cant deal with clutter /mess and their problems.

I also think the word partner gives credibility to some relationships that are not that great. But people won't leave them due to financial and housing problems.

A partnership to me would imply that both partners are equal.on their contributions.

No idea what else to call a partner.

Any ideas?

You partners sounds lovely, whatever their moniker!