Motorway driving - should I do it?

[Jetsmummy123]

Never posted on Mumsnet before so not sure if Chat the best place for this question…

I have never driven on the motorway and am a fearful passenger following an accident (not hurt) several years ago.
I passed my test at 25, am 42 now, and am a confident driver when local, but something about the motor way terrifies me, to the point I won’t drive anywhere locally I am unfamiliar with that might accidentally lead me to one! I guess I would never want to put myself and kids or other road users at risk by not being a confident motor way driver
The issue is that, since having my children, there are places I’d love to take them that I can’t due to this fear. My husband could take us but I work less hours than him, and don’t want to be so restricted on days off/school holidays.
Would it be worth taking motorway lessons? Has anyone overcome this kind of motorway anxiety and gone on to be a confident motor way driver? Thanks

I took a motorway lesson and these days, I drive on them frequently,although some of that is because I now live close to motorways, rather than in Dorset, where there are none, and where I grew up and learnt to drive.

My mother planned routes that avoided all motorways except where really inconvenient- she did use the Severn Bridge, for example. So you also have that option, but if you take a couple of motorway lessons and build your confidence, then you have the choice.

I didn't drive on the motorway for several years after I passed my test - I was always nervous about it. Then I met DP who lived a fair distance away and realistically the only way to see him regularly was if I drove on the motorway.

I was fine for a long time but then out of nowhere I suddenly became really anxious about motorway driving again and would get really panicky. I live close to two motorways and it's very difficult to travel anywhere without using them so I knew I had to get over it. I found it helpful to build up a little bit at a time. So I would go out and practise just by doing one junction at first. Then I built up from there. The first time I did a longer drive DP came along too so he could take over if necessary which reassured me. Now I'm back to being mostly comfortable with it.

The other thing I looked into but didnt try in the end was hypnotherapy.

Almost 30 years ago when I passed my test I then had a 3 hour motorway lesson with my instructor as our families lived 3 hours away by motorway. It consisted of sling shots round a roundabout to enter the slip road, join, and then come back off. We also took a break half way through, I drove into services, we had a quick drink and a loo break and I was back on the motorway. Brilliant chap.

Book in with an instructor for motorway lessons, most slots are 2 hours long these days so you would be booking a one off.

The other thing, stick your satnav on now in the car, I use Google maps on my phone not the one that comes with the car, take it off mute it so that you can hear and see how it shows road layouts etc locally so when you are driving where you know you can see how it applies. That way should you ever need to drive anywhere you can get there. Dh and I ended up in an out of hours doctor's appointment at a hospital whilst we were in the UK on holiday. We are fine doing this sort of thing but it could happen that your Dh cannot drive for whatever reason and it may fall to you. Practise now whilst you can.

I am not the biggest fan of driving on the motorway so I usually stay in the left lane and drive behind a lorry. They usually go about 55mph.

Take some lessons.
Honestly it took me 10 years to drive from passing and another 1-2 to go on the motorway out of choice. I got my husband to come with me every time I tried a new area until I got the hang of it. I committed myself of picking up my colleague every week which requires me to use the motorway. (It’s actually quicker!) I’m pretty much over it now.

Definitely get lessons. I actually love motorway driving. Long, straight stretches of road. I think people get a bit scared because of the speed, but honestly it becomes second nature the more you do it. I'd rather drive on the motorway than my local dual carriageway!

I had been driving for around 20+ years before I drove on a motorway - I live in a county without any so it's easily done! I was terrified the first time I did, it was a quiet motorway 1 mile stretch.

Now I can drive pretty much anywhere. I hate the M25 but I can still do it.

Go for it OP, it will open up so much for you!

Doing a motorway lesson or going with someone else to start with is probably the way to go. I passed a few months ago and am not ready for the motorway. Part of my issue though is my underpowered car though. I think in another car I would be nervous but be able to do it. Can you try late in the evening or at a time it's likely to be quiet?

Motorway driving is easy, however no one seems to have touched on the difficult bit, getting into the right lane when in fast traffic. Also, knowing which exit to get off.

perhaps the problem for me is that where I live lots and lots of junctions and roundabouts have been altered and extended, many with ongoing roadworks.

my suggestion is get your phone/Satnav well set up, but don’t completely rely on it.

Defo a few lessons. You’ll be fine.

It opens so much up to you once you can do it.

It’s not hard if it’s not busy. There’s no thought required here early on a Sunday morning as it’s empty!

Motorway lessons as suggested but also plenty of practice without the children in the car so you’re really confident by the time you drive with them

That looks similar to the route I took round Southampton about 10 days ago (and have just paid a fine for, because I inadvertently ended up in a bus lane.)

Some motorways are better than others to practise on - a nice straight bit of the M4 rather than the M27 and all its roadworks, for example, but it hugely depends on where you are and what the options are.

Thank you for all the comments! Think I’ll definitely look into some lessons! The tip about YouTube videos is a good idea too, hadn’t thought of that. Yes I’m absolutely fine on dual carriageways so that’s a good start. Thanks everyone

I passed at 18 and didn't get a car until 42. Had a lot of refresher lessons with some motorway driving but even so I was still clenching the wheel and sweating. It did get easier. I'm now looking into advance driving courses to help keep up my confidence.

Lots of instructors will do motorway lessons. There's also organisations like I Am Road Smart and Rospa (Royal society for prevention of accidents) that do courses.