What helped your adhd child get through school and fulfil their potential?

[adhdddd8]

DS is eight and his school doesn’t make him do anything, so (because of his demand avoidance and inability to sit still), is behind where he should be.

He’s a very bright child. I’ve been told this by his school and nursery since he was little. His school has even admitted that they’re failing him and he’s a clever boy.

Which, in turn, makes me feel like I’m failing him too. I was considering getting him a summer tutor but it sounds complicated and expensive.

What did you do to help your adhd child fulfil their potential in life? I am reluctant to medicate such a young child. But it feels like he’ll just drift through until he can leave and then I don’t know what on earth.

Any help would be great!

DS was diagnosed at around 14.5. - we medicated about 6months before GCSEs - delay was due to getting seen - I wish and more importantly my son wishes it had been earlier as it made so much difference

The thing also that helps is doing sport every day

@AlertEagle I’m no help; I thought my 2 were simply “sporty”, but over the years I’m better at picking up little cues for those who are physically hyper even in older age.
Those with ADD, presentation not so much.

Meds definitely help and you should really look into it. The dosage and type is a bit of trial and error but we have now found the right balance. DS started on a very low dose.
Exercise eg running and football everyday also really helps as does limiting screen time. At school extra time and rest breaks during tests as well as teachers breaking tasks up into chunks, checking for understanding and a simple tap on the desk to keep DS focussed. Supportive teachers really has made a difference.DS has also had CBT to help with tics.
DS also sets himself timers to make sure he gets ready in time for school etc. and we make sure we help with organising homework and keeping school stuff etc tidy and in order - we label everything and use storage boxes etc

I know this is the case for many but certainly not for my DS ( diagnosed) or my OH (not but am sure he is ADD).

They both need structure and routine to help them focus...My OH has his own business and earns nothing as he doesn't complete anything!

This thread is so helpful, thank you everyone. I am now very seriously rethinking medication!

I would look at medicating. I’m taking my 10yo through the process, I feel we’ve done all we can, and need to look at what doctors can do. However I don’t know if it will be an option for us as he may not get a diagnosis until study demands increase, he’s very bright and his report is good and we do a lot of managing at home, so either way we will also explore what OT support the paediatrician offers at this stage too. At home we’ve always done reading, we do every day maths some maths app, we do almost no screen time as it has a bad effect on him, we do lots of sport and have options at home- climbing, trampoline, basketball hoop. And lots of managing his emotions and helping him get ready for things, to get him to do things he loves.

Marking place… I have an 11yo DD who I strongly suspect has it

I feel so guilty that I resisted getting my son assessed and onto meds earlier. It just wasn't fair that I let him struggle with school and life so much when there was an option out there that would make such a huge difference.

He went from C/D grades to A grades within a term, but more importantly he was so much happier once he felt more in control of his brain.

For my DS it's medication that has made the biggest difference.

Also early diagnosis - DS was diagnosed aged 8, but my DD wasn't diagnosed until she was 15 , and it felt too late then to change the trajectory of her childhood/education. She massively underachieved in her exams and has quite low self esteem.

Routine.

I say this for both myself and my 9yr old.

Our summer holidays look a bit militant to outsiders but if I want to avoid the overwhelm for both myself and my 9yr old (the others are fine) then I’ll stick to it. If I wobble at all that’s when chaos ensues.

In terms of through schooling it’s literally the same. We get up in a morning, follow the same routine etc then we do extra maths, reading and spellings. It depends on the teacher I’ve found also. If they’re firm but fair then it’s a better year. Overly strict or overly soft and it can be a nightmare.

I also won’t medicate as I’ve found it manageable and I think it’s been helpful for myself to be able to recognise and overcome triggers. Obviously we have bad days but on the whole this works for us.

Medication. Ds was diagnosed through his second year at Uni. He was really struggling holding it together. After taking the meds he said his life changed completely. He’s still trying to find the correct dose and timing of meds. The meds reduce his AdHD symptoms but increase his ASD symptoms. But he’s more in control.

We tried medicating my ds when he was 6, it didn't work for us and I couldn't put him through another trial of medication. His teacher agreed he was more emotionally balanced without it and she would put more support in for the academics.
He's 7 now, routine and understanding executive functioning are very important to us.
We also focus on life skills and school commented he was one of the very few who had concept of money and good problem solving skills.
We recently got some football goals for the garden which are well used after dinner and have helped him in forming relationships with others in the playground.
Over the summer I have purchased some revision books for English and maths to reinforce what he's learnt this academic year.

Because there are other ways that work for some. Diet is well known for one.