Fathers Day and Primary Schools

[HelloQuery]

Our school’s PTA has, since I have had DC at the primary school, organised little Mother’s and Father’s Day crafts (with optional small payments). This year, while Mother’s Day activities went ahead as usual, Father’s Day was not marked.

It seems that this is due to the growing number of children in our community navigating fatherlessness – whether through loss, separation, or other circumstances. Others wondered if it was simply an oversight. I am very interested in finding out more about how this is done in other schools:

• Does your school celebrate both days consistently, or has there been a move toward reimagining them?
• Have you seen creative alternatives that honour all types of caregivers – grandparents, foster parents, or older siblings stepping into parental roles?
• Is there any communication regarding the choices made?

This isn’t about judging choices – I recognise these decisions are complex. But as our understanding of family structures evolves, I’m curious how schools are adapting.

Our school hold a sale for both. My children don't have their dad around but they enjoy participating, this year my son bought himself a teddy at the sale.

The school I work in does neither. We have many single parent families, single sex families, adopted/fostered/kinship placed children, it wouldn’t be appropriate. My DSDs school do both but are fairly insensitive and uninclusive in this area. They recently had a class task to create a family tree and were told only to include biological family. Her adopted classmates mother was understandably unimpressed.

Our school allows time in class to make a card for someone you love, often the kids make them for friends, or their teacher, this year my mothers day card went to my eldest son 🤣

I think they did both Father's Day and Mother's Day at DCs primary (SE)- they are all at secondary school now so no more school made cards.

Cards made in class for both, no PTA involvement or gifts. A child in DD’s class lost their dad about a month before Father’s Day one year and I thought they might skip marking it but they went ahead which surprised quite a few parents and the kids with no dad did cards for uncles or granddads or whomever.

I’m not sure what I think, probably best to swerve both. It’s a balance, a single mum or dad might only get a card if their 4 year old makes one at school, but the same single parent might have a child who’s upset or confused by events marking the parent they don’t have.

I taught Reception for almost a decade in a school with really diverse families. We made cards for both occasions. I openly explained to my class that I would make one for my Step-Dad and Grandad, my TAs for their Dads (my Dad died when I was 4, but no issue at all growing up with friends celebrating theirs, not their fault). Same for Mother’s Day. Some children even chose to make an additional one for a Step Mum, 2 Mums, never any issues or complaints about it from any parents. Children always knew they could make their card for somebody else, eg one little boy was being raised by his Nan, she was delighted to be acknowledged. I similarly spent a lot of time with GPs growing up, we had supportive conversations about this.

I think professionals fear upsetting people, but completely shying away from these things can actually hinder acceptance, awareness of difference and having really supportive conversations with children.

I actually had one Mum thank me. She explained that as a single Mum, she would have received nothing if it wasn’t for me. She said her ex and her own parents never bothered to organise anything, so she was very grateful we helped her child do this at school.

My own children’s school does nothing for either. I’m fortunate my DH helps my children, but do feel for parents with younger children where nobody helps them. As they get older they can at least make their own cards more easily. Little children really love to make things for their loved ones, it was always the activities they were most motivated about and they were delighted to give them to whoever.

Both here.

They say "fathers, grandfathers or male caregivers" and the equivalent for mother's day