Been sacked for gross misconduct

[RidetheT]

I have been sacked. I made a mistake in work that could have had wide reaching implications for a client.

I hate myself. The mistake was through sheer stupidity and carelessness and rushing to get work done by a deadline.

I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I keep crying. I’m terrified for the future. How am I going to ever work again? Who would trust me? I don’t trust me.

We have about a months savings and then we are going to struggle to pay the bills/ mortgage so my kids are going to lose their home on top of everything.

I just don’t know what to do. My DH keeps telling me he has faith in me and he knows I’ll make it all ok. I don’t know how.

I know of situations where that has happened - where an ex employer has contacted someone's new employer - during the process of them being taken to tribunal to try and cost them a job - but I would personally never tell someone not to go to tribunal. All I will say is speaking as someone who did take an ex employer to tribunal, it was stressful. (Understatement) -and it can be costly unless you represent yourself - which you can do.

It absolutely didn't go against me, taking an employer to tribunal. I found other work with very little problem. You also have the right to see and challenge a reference. However an employer isn't legally obliged to give a reference.

Following due process goes both ways - you were negligent (although if the stakes were so high, why isn't a second sign off required).

It doesn't sound like the company followed due process in firing you given that this was a genuine oversight and without bad intent. Do please challenge this and don't throw yourself under the bus for them.

I have a feeling that the company have done this precisely because you are so conscientious and took the blame, they saw you as an easy target to get rid of.

Also here for your updates, don’t take this lying down.

You have nothing to lose by challenging this decision if you feel you would need to leave this industry anyway.

@RidetheT "My DH keeps telling me he has faith in me and he knows I’ll make it all ok."

I know what you need now is practical advice and not just platitudes - but your husband's right. Mistakes happen all the time. Everyone makes mistakes every single day of their lives. Mostly, we get away with it, and sometimes we don't. You've been unlucky this time. I know the financial side of things is a massive worry, but I sincerely believe you'll be a happier person on the other side of this. Look at what you've already learnt: your husband is there for you. That's priceless.

You must and next time, get unioned.

I was sacked in 2018. My union rep handed my boss his arse on a platter. I still left but I had a whopping payout.

Gross negligence or gross misconduct? I see both written on this thread. It is not misconduct to make an error like that, I could maybe see negligence, but even still one mistake like that should not end in a sacking.

i wouldn’t accept this unless there is more to it and you had made many mistakes. There is due process that needs to be followed. Is this a small company?

Are you in UK financial services? If so, some of the professional bodies like the CII might offer some support, possibly through the charity they run to support people in the industry. I feel for you; I read this and thought there but for the grace of God goes any of us. Hang in there.

It sounds like the company are taking advantage you here as a scapegoat. You’re a support worker. You don’t get paid enough to take these big risks on business. Your work should be protected from being able to have such a negative impact. The company is at fault for not having those processes in place, not you. They are taking advantage of your nature to be passive.

"You also have the right to see and challenge a reference. "

Unfortunately this isn't automatically the case, references supplied under the assumption of confidentially by the author are exempt from SARS (quite unbelievably given putting SARS in to nosy on comms about you between co-workers is fine)

Just wanted to say that I left financial services during Covid, took a random temp job in another sector and I’m still in it 5 years later and doing alright. So there are always other options available, I’d say it’s worth looking into whether you can take it further though. Judith Fiddler on tiktok (HR mind shift) has a lot of videos about these types of issues - definitely worth a watch.

Sorry, but why would you think people would say things like that? You made a mistake. It cost some people some money and unfortunately ended with the loss of your job… for a mistake. You didn’t steal or lie or cheat and hurt someone. It was a mistake. Why would anyone say anything awful to you?

You don’t need to be embarrassed about people finding out either. It was a mistake. Do you really believe that friends or family would turn their back on you because you filled in the wrong information on a form?

It’s actually really shitty that something a thousand people must do every day (filling something in wrong) has resulted in a job loss. I wouldn’t judge you at all if you were my friend.

Don’t worry about what this looks like to other people or what people will think; no one will care or think badly of you. Leave all that out of your mind and just concentrate on your plan for yourself now.

In my industry if someone is sacked it will not be mentioned in their references. All that is supplied is confirmation that they worked for the organisation and what dates they worked there from and to. go to your local job centre and see if they can help you.

Most if not all benefit claims need to be made online these days but applying for UC is pretty straightforward

People get sacked every day - fairly and unfairly. It might not feel like that just now when you are in this situation but that's the case. Appealing your sacking is the first step - and that doesn't mean you have to go back there if they offer you your job back. It's up to you what you do but it sounds like you've been treated very unfairly. Plus. If they could do this to you -they could do it to other staff.

Excellent advice, I hope it helps OP x

And what is your DP doing to help "make it all okay," why is he putting it all on you at a time of such stress for you? I understand what you say about his neurodivergence but what is he planning to do to support you? He sounds very passive and it's his livelihood too.

If you manage nothing else in terms of practical action (though I really hope you do), please use this thread as evidence that there are many people who are upstanding and moral and yet do not share your idea of what is 'right' or ' just' in this situation. Then challenge whether it is better to hold on to this idea of right behaviour or allow yourself to be influenced by the benevolent crowd who can put your very human mistake into context. Your anxiety will never get better if you don't understand how everyday and unexceptional your failures are. (I also have had to work on this)

I was suspended for "gross misconduct". This happened immediately after I had put in a grievance about a colleague harassing and bullying me. I can't say what I did or what the workplace was, but I knew it wasn't gross misconduct. I saw a solicitor (friend of someone I knew, employment lawyer who didn't charge me). We went through the company policies and it turned out they hadn't followed their own policies and what I did wasn't gross misconduct at all (which I already knew). I was signed off sick for six months with stress and anxiety (it was a lovely summer!) whilst the union fought my corner - it ended up with a final meeting with a HR person and one of the managers and my solicitor. Turned out there was no case to answer at all. I went back to work but immediately looked for another job and left as soon as I could.

The colleague I put in the grievance about? She was shagging the boss and was moved on.

Deep breath.

First off. Did they follow the correct procedures? There are wiser people than me who can advise on that.

Secondly, dont panic. More people than you realise have been sacked. I was sacked many years ago for not being able to do the job.

I took a couple of weeks to lick my wounds. Then I applied to agencies. Generally agencies dont care and will also take personal references. You might have to take a job you wouldnt normally or take a pay cut but its only a stepping stone. Once you have been there a while, you can get references. It can also open up permanent jobs.

Once you start applying for jobs properly be honest if they ask. Dont downplay it but do be factual, precise and own it and show you understood the seriousness of it. Say you were let go because you were rushing to meet a deadline and made a silly mistake. Dont get hung up on the details or blame other people but talk about what you learned from it eg you looked at what you did leading up to it and have since started to do x to avoid it happening again or would do y in the future. Talk about what you did to minimise the mistake at the time eg about how you took responsibility for it and raised it with the appropriate people as soon as you realised etc.

Decent employers know people mess up. They want people who own up to messing up and take responsibility and grow from it. Show you are honest and have integrity.

Did you leave on good terms or were bridges burnt? If you left on good terms would they be willing to do a factual only reference eg you worked there from this date to that date? Its fairly standard now so wont stand out.

I burnt bridges. I mean really burnt bridges and they wrote an unnecessarily nasty reference in retaliation. No one would employ me ever based on that reference but guess what? Im now in a job I really like. It took a long time for my confidence to improve. I still get wobbly if a manager calls me into an impromptu meeting. But I was OK and you will be too.

Good luck

I was sacked for gross misconduct in my 20s. At the time I felt ashamed of myself.

The aftermath was hell but in many ways it was the best thing to happen to me. It’s coming up to 20 years after that happened and I have an incredibly successful career. There’s life after being sacked. That’s my first point, and I wanted to share that.

Really though what I wanted to say is it’s ok for it to take time to get over and it’s understandable you are reeling. It sounds like your partner is very supportive which is great. If you can, I know finances don’t always allow, don’t try and rush back into work - take some time and do a bit of recovery. I hope it’s not too bumpy for you and be kind to yourself.

Its not fearmongering. I used to volunteer with the CAB and this was covered in our training. Case studies of clients who had a clear case that they were very likely to win but realised that in their industry they would not work again if they tried to assert their legal rights. OP will know her line of work, not me or you, and its important to weight up the risks as well as the benefits of taking action. Making a full informed decision is not fear mongering, its just good sense.

I was suspended while off sick for putting in a grievance about my horrible working conditions. I never went back. They later sacked me. I can't even remember what their excuse was - but they did it when I was off sick, without going through a disciplinary hearing, they just wrote me letter sacking me. It took a while for the organisation to fall apart (I was the manager) and eventually they had to stand aside and let another company run the project.

I was completely honest with prospective employers and it didn't make a difference. I had other work within a couple of months or less. I also went back to uni which I would never have done if I hadn't been working there.

The point is that tribunal is a red herring in this particular case. Highly unlikely to come to that. The main issue is whether this is gross misconduct.

You actually made a mistake - I can tell that by your tone, rather than anything else - but because of the mistake you made, it came out as gross misconduct. However, it really is not in the same category as being fired for defrauding your employer, smacking a fellow employee or going off sick and then posting selfies from Las Vegas. So there is proportion and a sliding scale, even in this.

I think, reading all of your posts, that what you actually need most is a coach. I would say this, because I am one, but helping people to rebuild after episodes like this is our bread and butter. Trying to do your CV and look at jobs will be like trying to do calculus while smashing your head against a wall - it is really hard to focus on the early stage of a process when you just can't imagine how to get through something in the middle. But it really is a case of nil desperandum. You made a silly mistake that in another industry would have been a stern word. I understand because I've worked a lot in Financial Services.

So that is my recommendation, and to anyone else who is struggling to overcome a work-related issue. Yes, it costs money, but you have to look at time to recovery. With a coach you could be feeling fighting fit in a few weeks, and robustly fighting fit, while this may take you a lot longer otherwise. And that coach will also help you to look at alternative careers, if that's what you actually really want to do.

I hope that will help.

I didnt see your original post. But to back this up. I was also bullied in a different job (not the one I was sacked from) and they started the procedures to sack me. I kicked up a stink becsuse they were acting illegally and I hadnt done anything wrong. They paid me to leave in the end. My card is now marked and I know I will never work in that sector again. They might not be able to ensure that legally but they will eg downmarket job applications ever so slightly etc. I knew that would happen when I made the decision to fight it and I was OK with that.