Teachers - tell me about your unhinged parent experiences.

[NC28]

Purely for entertainment purposes , of course.

Inspired by the thread about the teacher who got an email from a kids mum because the staff didn’t buy her daughter flowers after the school show…what other unhinged, entitled or downright crazy things have parents moaned about at your school?

Parents are fucking lunatics at times, so I hope you all have WhatsApp groups with your colleagues to laugh at them in your spare time.

Omg that’s awful.

Please report it to the police again. Write to your MP. This is awful. I’m so sorry to read this.

The "provocative song lyrics" posts reminds me of many years ago, when I had a class of six year olds after storytime, taking turns to sing their favourite songs. One little girl stood up and sang a reggae song - the first line was "Lie down,girl, let me push it up, push it up..."!!

😱😨😂
Just the kind of thing to happen when there's an OfSTED inspector in the room!

The one unbelievable thing about some of these posts is that difficult or mad parents never speak, they always “scream”. I don’t believe that, although the rest isn’t surprising.

@marmaladeandpeanutbutter the same could be said about any post talking about someone who has done something/ expressed emotions in a way the poster doesn't like or understand. For example "teacher screamed at my child because he wouldn't sit still" could also be "teacher raised their voice slightly in frustration after asking the child to sit still for the 5th time today". "My boss screamed at me because I was 5 minutes late" could be "I have been late 3 times this week and my boss is pissed off" etc. 'Screamed' is just a word people use to describe how they perceived someone else's behaviour. It is stressful dealing with someone else's anger when you don't know or they won't explain the reasons behind it. Using this word makes sense when confronted with an angry parent, especially in front of other people who you are also trying to deal with. The parent might not see themselves as screaming, but a teacher who has a parent approach them like this at the end of the day is reasonable to interpret it as such.

Some angry parents do scream and they can become violent too.

My strategy with them was always to say please sit down (it starts to calm them) and then to say I can't discuss anything while they're shouting at me. "Stop shouting and I'll listen to you". "I don't reply to shouting". "If you want me to listen, sit down and stop shouting". I'd try to talk quietly to bring the volume down.

what, they wore the rucksacks every minute of the day? when having food/going to the toilet/doing activities/eating/sleeping? Doubt it!

The fact that the children were sometimes wearing the rucksacks doesn't negate the possibility that the primary reason for attaching the airtags to the rucksack was not to lose the rucksack!

plus, again, unlike the parents following them around or ringing teachers non stop, what actual harm does an air tag do? It doesn't stop them from doing anything or embarrass them, doesn't invade their privacy, doesn't take up the teacher's time and attention like multiple phone calls or texts would do, and could be extremely useful if the child got lost or there was a terrorist incident or electricity systems went down as in spain the other month or your coach broke down so you were delayed getting home or whatever.

I'd like to hope you weren't taking 9 year olds anywhere their parents weren't already aware of and had agreed to, so what does it matter?

It's probably not something I would think of doing (although would for my luggage which is why I'm not convinced that wasn't the reason), but it's in no way the same level of over protectiveness as the other examples.

If they're shouting then walk away, they're not worth wasting your breathe.

🤣 Dying! I’ve had this over the years, too funny. Currently the kids can’t wrap their heads round having a (very competent) teacher delivering French and Spanish but she isn’t either and is from a different European country. Minds blown!

It sounds reasonable when you say it but in reality, if you walk away while they're shouting at you, they're more likely to become even more enraged and come after you to thump you! The aim is always to diffuse the situation, not to inflame it.

@SyntacticalVortex I disagree. It’s untrue hyperbole, and adds nothing. In fact, I think it detracts.

Some people do scream when they become angry. Or perhaps we have a different definition of screaming. To me screaming is not a huge step from shouting, it's sort of shouting when the person's voice has become distorted.

Yes it's a soap opera but just as an example:

0:44 "What's it got to do with you anyway?" / "It's got everything to do with me!" = shouting

0:47 "You ain't going anywhere!!" / "Watch me!!" = screaming.

Teaching must have been so much easier when I was at school in the 60’s. We, and lots of other people where I lived, didn’t have a phone in the house so school was never contacted. We walked to and from school alone from a very young age so parents didn’t even see our teachers.

We had one chap who was fluent in English, French and Arabic. He was also exceptionally handsome. Funnily enough, the parents didn't complain about him.

In much the same way that teachers alway shout or yell at pupils on so many thread on MN.

I've just been watching "Schitt's Creek" where Alex tells David off for "yelling" at her. His voice wasn't raised at all, he was emphatically disagreeing with her at normal volume. I think this is what goes on these days - any disagreement becomes shouting, yelling or screaming in the mind of those being contradicted. It's not a minor thing as it instantly polarises any situation.

My DD did this in her teen years, saying I was shouting at her which I never ever did. Eventually I pointed out to her that as a teacher I knew very well what shouting was and she'd know all about if I did. It did stop eventually, but soooo wearing.

echt: " In much the same way that teachers alway shout or yell at pupils on so many thread on MN."

Do teachers do that often these days? I would have thought that part of their training concerned keeping their temper under control.

Unlike when I was at school, back in the dark ages, when some teachers would actually go as far as having a tantrum, stamping feet and shouting at a child, humiliating them in front of others. That was not at all unusual.

I think the ability to contact your child's teacher by email etc is a dreadful idea, especially as they then expect a reply instantly, leave the rest of the class and deal with a few loopy parents.
Before email etc I'm sure that parents disliked things in schools but they had to be very keen to contact the school office by phone or letter.

Unlike when I was at school, back in the dark ages, when some teachers would actually go as far as having a tantrum, stamping feet and shouting at a child, humiliating them in front of others. That was not at all unusual.

We had one screaming, explosive teacher in juniors. He also swiped a glass vase of roses off his desk in a fury (can still see it in my minds eye) The most memorable occasion was removing the class chatterboxs front teeth by medium of flying board rubber. I remember it whizzing by my ear en route.

Class chatterbox (nice boy, just an incessant talker) took this very well and would proudly remove his denture for a laugh. Didn't stop him talking, either. Of course nothing happened to said teacher because 1960s.

That is awful.

I really hated school back then and was often very scared. There was no respect for pupils except for the few who were good at everything.

Horrendous.

I only had the belt once, but the ruler across the knuckles several times.

Since no other teacher felt the need to hit me, I’m assuming that the problem was hers.

On the days when our Headie covered the class - while she was on a course - I felt much happier.

Totally agree @WearyAuldWumman . My first ever day of school my class teacher shouted at me because I stuck my National Savings stamps in the book (I'd missed being told we shouldn't but in fact, why?) and hit me on the head with a book at story time. Reason unknown. It was like that until she left to have a baby.

I was a boringly well behaved child (to all accounts) and still have no idea why she took so much against me at first sight. It was like that until she left to have a baby. I got my revenge (aged 5) by refusing to ooo and aaah over this infant when she returned with it to show the class. Blanked her (and the poor little baby, who obviously wouldn't have cared less 😂)

Never had a moments trouble in the whole of school after that time (and some lovely, inspiring teachers) but I suppose it gave me an insight into the fact that unfair treatment can have a profound effect.

Musing on this and a bit more on topic, I don't remember seeing much unhinged parent behaviour. One or two of the more challenging would say "I'll tell my Dad and he'll come up the school". Never saw evidence of this actually happening. TBH I think a child complaining about anything would be far more likely to be asked what they'd done to deserve it. Bit of a double edged sword that.

I never saw it when I was a pupil. As a teacher, however...

Slightly off-topic...the funniest complaint that I'm aware of came from a pupil.

A Scottish high school. The 1990s. My husband was hauled into our headmaster's office.

"A very serious complaint has been made about you Mr Weary."

"Really? What's the complaint?"

"You made a comment of a sexual nature about a pupil's relative."

"What!? Who made the complaint?"

"Wayne X... Mr Weary! This is no laughing matter!"

"Oh yes it is. D'you want to hear my side of it?"

"Go on."

"I wrote something up on the blackboard. Wayne called out 'That's no right!' and I replied 'Don't try to teach your granny how to suck eggs.'"

I’ve worked with a couple…

I've worked with one nutter of a teacher. And have had to deal with several unhinged parents.
One of which was verbally attacking my colleague, a mum and her son, and I'm sure he would will say I shouted at him as I bloody well did! I shouted at him to stop abusing the teacher and told him to get out of the school! When slt finally turned up they said they'd have done the same. With the witness statements they banned him from the school grounds.