Dream jobs that were nightmares- help me feel better

[TheArtistFormerlyKnownasSuccessful]

Give me a kick up the arse here because I’m spiralling and need people to talk me down.

Made redundant in March and have applied to at least 10 jobs since, making sure to tailor my CV and covering letters accordingly. Only made it to interview stage for one (despite being extremely experienced and having a recruiter look over my CV to make sure it’s as strong as it can possibly be). But that was OK because I had this one interview and I convinced myself it was the perfect job for me. Good pay, flexible, interesting, a step up career-wise. I was going to get it. I worked really, really hard to prep for the interview (I even recorded my notes to listen to in my sleep!) and I thought it went ok, despite my nerves. In the days that followed I prayed/ manifested/ the whole lot.

I did not get it. Everyone around me is saying things like, “It obviously wasn’t the right job for you” “They probably had someone lined up” and “Something better will come along”. But I am gutted and kicking myself at missing out on such a good opportunity.

I know it’s dramatic but I feel lost. My career has nosedived since having children and over the past 10 years my self-esteem has taken a kicking. I really thought it might be time to get back on track and feel proud of myself again.

So, help me feel better and snap out of this self-indulgent gloom. Tell me about the ‘dream jobs’ that you landed that turned out to be nightmares, or the jobs you missed out on only to find something genuinely better later.

I am so sorry OP. I hope I can help. I had a piece of paper in my careers file for 10 years with just the name of a job on at a local employer, waiting for it to be advertised. Evennnntually it was. I took time off work and made that application my full time job. It was PERFECT! I even found someone who currently has the job and milked them for information.

I was rejected outright. No opportunity for any discussion or reasons (none of the Comms even had a person's name on at this big employer).
I was absolutely devastated. Genuinely stricken with gut wrenching heartache for months.
I later discovered from the current employee that all applications had been rejected automatically because of a system fault.

Several years later I landed my current job and I couldn't be happier, I love it, it's so much better than my dream job would have been!! I couldn't have predicted that at the time.
Your feelings are valid 👍🏼

Really sorry about the job op. It.is very disheartening when that happens.

Here is mine - hopefully will help :

I interviewed at two different places (Place A and Place B) Both offered me the job! I was so excited. Place A seemed amazing, I had loved it at interview and it was near home, great hours, a really well respected boss in my industry. But, the work wasn't as relevant to my experience as Place B. I knew I wanted to do the work Place B was offering so I accepted Place B. When I called Place A to turn down their offer and explained why, they changed some aspects of the role to make it more appealing. Couldn't believe my luck. This was THE place and THE manager I wanted to work for. The only thing I hadn't liked about it was the thing that got changed so absolutely perfect. Great place, easy commute, they really wanted me, all amazing....

I hated it. The work was awful, the people were awful, the management didn't care about me at all, I was just left to figure everything out on my own. Realised too late, they didn't want ME really badly, they wanted ANYONE 😂, as the work was so awful.

I stuck it out as long as I could, but I hated every minute. I handed my notice in without anything to go to 😳. It honestly ruined my life in the short term. I was so depressed and down about it all. I did find something else and it was OK in the end, but it was a bit of an ordeal.

Good luck with the job search!

Sorry to hear that OP, I’ve literally just heard that I’ve not got a job I really wanted too, it sucks :(

Annoyingly the reason I’m now looking for a job is that I was basically headhunted for a job a couple of years ago, big company, big payrise, all sounded great so I took the leap and it was an absolute nightmare of micromanagement and weird culture, I hated it and jumped ship for a contract just to get away!

Trouble is now the contract is coming to an end and I need to job hunt again and I hate it, I wish I’d never left in the first place 😩

Hey OP, I’m sorry this has happened, It’s truly shi* and feels crushing.

my last contract was due to end in March & so from Sept I was looking, applying and interviewing and it was brutal. I initially applied only for jobs I felt were perfect for me in terms of the work, my skills and my desired wants- eg location, flexibility, pay and culture. I had a couple of interviews and wasn’t successful and lots of outright rejections. In the new year I interviewed 3 times for my ‘perfect role’ and honestly thought it was in the bag. They selected someone who was a better cultural fit, (younger), despite openly admitting I had more experience! I sort of spiralled after that, my confidence hit an all time low and the situation felt hopeless. I stated applying for roles which were less senior than my experience, and didn’t get those either- reasons over qualified and worried I’d get bored! Honestly I was devastated.

my OH actually told me to take a month off applying and just relax which I really needed, but this did mean I finished my contract with no job. Not ideal from an income perspective but while off finding a job became my job, I really sharpened my ‘wants’ and my confidence about my worth started to come back.

Fast forward to now, I started my new role this week and it’s a perfect job for me. Interesting, hybrid, great money, flexible and seemingly a brilliant culture. I was actually offered two jobs in the same week, both I really wanted but this one had the edge.

I say all of this to let you know, it’s really tough market currently and there are lots of good people around, but you will shine through for the right organisation. It will happen!

Job application and interview fatigue is a real thing and I think my fatigue may have shown itself in a couple of interviews and my lack of confidence certainly did. I felt refreshed after some time out.

Sending hugs and positive vibes, you got this xx

Thank you all for taking the time to reply, and for your messages of support. I’m really glad it worked out for some of you eventually- you give me hope. For those going through what I’m going through right now, I send you all my best and wish you luck. It’s so hard fighting for others to see your worth. I’m getting quite bitter knowing how many people are USELESS at their jobs (including those in my old workplace who kept their roles) and yet they are employed and I am not (not a healthy way to think, I know).

The whole process of applying for jobs is brutal. All that preparation, all the waiting, all the cramming and trying to memorise answers (if you even make it to interview), all the nerves, all the hope. And then…nothing. And you have to start all over again.

Dream job for me turned out to be a lie...job advert was a total lie, it was a pay rise but a massive massive reduced responsibility and they actually lied to me about the nature of the job, the nhs clients id be seeing 🙈

Everyone was then mean to me and kept saying things like "oh your just here to do this or your just here for that" when in my old role I'd been a lead supervisor and over saw everyone. Day 2 I decided to leave and left I did.
Honestly that job wasn't meant for you op, grass isn't always greener, wasn't for me and I went back to my old role just in a different team and I'm so much happier now

I started a new job, the partner I was working with seemed really nice, certainly knew his profession. I was really excited and started thinking about ways I could make the job my own. But..... Whenever I didn't know or understand something on the system, I would ask for guidance, he literally sat in my chair and did it for me. I explained several times that I needed guidance so I could learn, not for him to just do it.
There were several other work related issues; mainly to do with micro managing, when not involving work, he was really nice and had a great sense of humour.
Eventually I had to give in my notice, as it was driving me insane.
When I told one of my colleagues, she told me I was the eighth person in that role in 2 years.
It was nice to know it wasn't me.

The first thing I would say is that this job market is brutal. I would suggest unless you are looking for something really niche, applying for 10 roles only since March is fairly low. Getting an interview from 10 applications is excellent and you would have been exceptionally lucky to have nailed it on your first interview in a while.

Going back to disastrous interview rejections that turned out for the best. I took voluntary redundancy last year - had been there many years and it was a good payout. Found the market to be tough - didn’t even get shortlisted for some roles I would have been perfect for. I worked on my CV and my Linkedin profile, breezed through a first interview with a company who sort of did work for my old company, so the job was literally exactly what I had been doing.I got offered a second interview, to be fair I had covid and it was online, but I just couldn’t sum up much enthusiasm for it and my answers were not great, even though I had prepared.

I didn’t get offered the role and it made me realise that subconsciously I didn’t want to stay in that sector and was worried about the hours required. The next morning I scanned the charity job roles, found one that was perfect for me but closing that day and applied that evening tipsy because we had been to DS school leaving prize giving with afternoon drinks and nibbles. I prepped the heck out of the interview and got the role, so I do believe there is a bit of fate in the whole process.

I just missed out on a really cool job with some cachet last time around, albeit it was just a maternity cover. Instead I landed a permanent role that was something of a career change and really in demand (to the point that I got a ten per cent pay rise after 5 months just to prevent me being poached by rivals)

I think I might be spending too much time overthinking on my CV and cover letters and trying to make them the perfect fit for each job. I also want to slightly change direction (from copywriting to content design, for example) but the market is so saturated that there are loads of people who have direct experience in those roles already. I’ve been looking at online courses but not sure if employers actually take them seriously 🫤

Oh my life this was exactly my experience with my nightmare job! More money, less responsibilities and I was so frustrated and bored and the money didn’t make up for it.

Given the perfect job seven years ago. Trouble from day one. Took 2.5 years to work through it. Things massively improved for the next 2.5 years, then a change in leadership and it all went to shit again. For some reason they wanted to go back to the previous situation which had caused all the trouble. I had to leave and it’s been nine months of applying.

My role is very niche so I’m trying to diversify, but I’ve had one first interview and one where I got to the last two, only to be pipped at the post. Most recently I applied for a spate of jobs and didn’t get a single interview.

Hugely frustrating but it’s a competitive market right now.