How can I stop myself crying so easily?

[cordialzempy]

I had to have a phone conversation this morning with my son's sports coach to discuss him not being chosen for the more elite coaching group this summer. I knew exactly what i wanted to say - how I feel he's being taken advantage of, that his commitment and dedication are being overlooked, that he feels humiliated - and I'd written it all down, but I couldn't really say it all as I wanted to as my voice kept cracking and I was clearly and audibly close to bursting into tears. I don't feel upset, I feel angry, and crying during this conversation was completely inappropriate.

I know I'm a very emotional person, it's who I am and on the whole I like it as a trait, but I cry so easily and I feel like it stops me being able to stand up for and support myself and my kids in the way that we deserve.

My other son is going to be in a play in a couple of months. It's about WW1, it's very sad and he plays a part where awful things happen to his character. I keep crying while running lines with him, I well up just thinking about the storyline, and I am dreading the actually performances. I know I'll be in floods of tears, he's expecting me to be so and it will be distracting for him. It's not about me! It's his thing and I need to be strong and support him and I feel like I'm letting him down.

And here I am crying just writing this post. What the fuck is wrong with me?! How can I fix this?! It's not a hormonal thing, I've always been like this. I can't stick up for myself in any sort of work confrontation or friendship issue as I just cry, and now I can't support my children properly either,

Anyone had this? Solved it? Breathing exercises, mantras, medication, stern talking to? I'll try anything.

Maybe when you go to watch the play you could distract yourself by not really paying attention to the words of the play, analyse the costumes, check out what the audience are wearing/how they are interacting, switch your focus elsewhere?

I'm so sorry to read about your son, I can totally understand how going through something unthinkable like that would change how you react to everyday grievances.

Your post is very astute and insightful and I think you're right on all counts. My upset on behalf of my children is probably because I wish people had stood up for me more when I was a child, but I need to make sure it's proportionate and necessary.

I have never had something really awful happen in my life - I'm incredibly lucky to have my kids, my husband, my brothers, my parents and maybe that is part of it - not sure though that that changing would be the ideal solution to not crying during the school play though! Ha x

OK I'm going to look into Sertraline, I wonder if it might help in more areas of my life.

I did do very well watching the marathon coverage yesterday as a trial though - sucked a mint, did maths, and when very sad stories were told I thought to myself 'this is not my story to cry over, this is theirs, support them, don't take their tears' and it did work a bit. I only cried maybe 5 times instead of 25!

@Newnameformenow good plan - I will definitely try this, examine the lighting rig, the set, the programme, the other mothers... this I can do!