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Original poster

To think how lucky we are (after watching film 'Not without my Daughter')

57 replies

ISpendFarTooMuchOnFood · 29/03/2025 19:20

Anyone seen the film with Sally Fields 'Not Without My Daughter'. It's from the eighties but I watched it off Amazon last night. It was based on a true story.

I don't want to ruin it for anyone that fancies watching it but it is basically an american woman who is married to an iranian man (he has lived in the US for 20 years and is a doctor and is very much living the US lifestyle).

He tricks her into going for a holiday to Iran saying they'll come back in 2 weeks but when she gets there he says they are not going back.

Due to the laws of the country she can divorce him and leave but he gets the daughter so she would have to leave her daughter behind.

He then goes from being this nice husband in America to treating her terribly and she is trapped.

It was a very frightening film to watch and I could feel the desperation, panic and fear of Sally Fields who did an excellent job. It very much made me think of woman living in these types of circumstances ie Afganistan and how lucky we are living in the UK.

Anyway perhaps a film that appeals to the more mature lady (i'm in my fifties) but I thought it was worth a watch.

Didn't post it in TV addicts as I thought that was too narrow for what I wanted to say.

OP posts:
NebulousWhistler · 30/03/2025 22:32

I too watched NWMD at school on the 90s. Has always tayed with me. It was a harrowing watch. Women have no rights in most of the Middle East.

BadSkiingMum · 30/03/2025 22:49

Thanks for the thread @ISpendFarTooMuchOnFood it sounds like a really thought-provoking film.

On a side note, I always think that any kind of cross-border relationship is a potentially bad idea, especially where children are concerned. Because, inevitably, one of you is always going to be living in a country that is not your ‘homeland’ and therefore have a yearning to go back at some point. Or not have full rights to live, or work, in the country where your spouse and children live. It just seems to increase the potential for vulnerability and heartache. I have been on MN a long time and read some desperately sad threads over the years. My heart sinks when I hear about a young person starting out along that path.

chocomoccalocca · 30/03/2025 22:56

Loved the book first know about the film but will be looking for it now!!

Original poster
ISpendFarTooMuchOnFood · 31/03/2025 20:53

BadSkiingMum · 30/03/2025 22:49

Thanks for the thread @ISpendFarTooMuchOnFood it sounds like a really thought-provoking film.

On a side note, I always think that any kind of cross-border relationship is a potentially bad idea, especially where children are concerned. Because, inevitably, one of you is always going to be living in a country that is not your ‘homeland’ and therefore have a yearning to go back at some point. Or not have full rights to live, or work, in the country where your spouse and children live. It just seems to increase the potential for vulnerability and heartache. I have been on MN a long time and read some desperately sad threads over the years. My heart sinks when I hear about a young person starting out along that path.

As someone who dated, fell in love with and lived for several years with an Australian man I totally agree.

Said man is now back in Aus. I am not.

I wouldn't date someone from another country again. You are right - the odds are stacked against you from the start. Thank goodness no children involved.

I just couldn't face living so far away from my home country, not to mention the spiders, snakes and crocs!

OP posts:
TheHazelCritic · 31/03/2025 21:04

Read this years ago, but then came across a interview from the husband with some comments from American women that were too living in Iran and its not so clear cut anymore
Few points in the story don't make sense, how she apparently crossed the mountain in winter, with a child and no appropriate clothing etc.

Fatrosrhun · 31/03/2025 21:05

SunsetCocktails · 30/03/2025 11:28

I remember reading this book too, many years ago. Does anyone else remember the book about two sisters (or cousins?) from the Midlands who went to the Yemen with their dad for a holiday and he basically kidnapped them and married them off? I read that a couple of times, so horrifying.

I have never seen the movie, but thought the book was wonderful when I read it in the 90s (although harrowing). I read the book about the two sisters as well, and found it even more shocking.

Evilspiritgin · 31/03/2025 21:41

I would think it’s more common than people would believe

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