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Do you live rurally?

124 replies

mistyfields · 14/01/2025 11:52

We do and I like it but I do notice sometimes that we seem to be in a bit of a minority on here. I think I am noticing it more because DC1 starts school in September and walking to school is out of the question, wraparound care is very limited which in turn limits the jobs I can do, and so on.

Even the MN mainstay of ‘just wrap up and go for a walk!’ Isn’t really possible here without driving somewhere!

Just interested if anyone else lives in the arse end of nowhere, and how you find it!

OP posts:
coldscottishmum · 14/01/2025 16:37

I live semi rural - a primary school in the village but like you no where to go for a walk, no super market unless you drive, no clubs for children.

stargirl1701 · 14/01/2025 16:39

We do. DC are 12 and 10. So far, so good. DH and I are a taxi service. I'm sitting at curling watching them now. We are 'out' every night for one of them. Tomorrow is swimming. It is what it is. Lots of walking the dog and we're in Scotland so can go anywhere (not through a field, of course!). They both ride. DD1's Scouts is outdoors all year round in the woods nearby. They are both looking forward to joining Young Farmers at 14 for a 'teenage' social life. Both looking forward to getting their tractor licence so they can earn over the Summer.

Just different.

stargirl1701 · 14/01/2025 16:40

We do have a school bus to both primary and secondary schools. Primary bus is about 30min. Secondary bus is about 50min.

TizerorFizz · 14/01/2025 16:48

@mistyfields Everyone living on the 60mph speed limit road in our settlement has a fenced garden for DC to play in. When old enough, road safety is drilled in. It’s just what you have to do.

Tel12 · 14/01/2025 16:50

Semi rural. Country views but 10 mins from civilization. Best of both worlds.

CeeJay81 · 14/01/2025 16:51

I live in the main community in the middle of nowhere. A tiny very rural Welsh town( it'd be a small village in England). However because it's the middle of nowhere we have primary and secondary school. The secondary is smaller than many primaries in other places. There are limited clubs for children. There is a scout group and dance classes and I think there us karate too. Also a leisure centre which does swimming lessons. All this stuff is walking distance for us, so doesn't sound rural. However it's 18 miles to A&E for example.

Mischance · 14/01/2025 16:55

I have lived rurally for 50 years and cannot imagine being in a town. I love it. Whatever crap life throws at me I can look out of my window on a fabulous view and be uplifted.

Words · 14/01/2025 16:56

No.I live in the country.

Don't know where this 'living rurally' came from.

Can't abide cities. Suits me!

Terrribletwos · 14/01/2025 17:04

mistyfields · 14/01/2025 12:14

Because it’s pretty much all farms around here. It looks scenic and lovely but nowhere you could actually walk. The roads aren’t safe because they don’t have pavements and cars (and tractors, and trucks) go zooming by at a pretty alarming speed.

Ah, that kind of rural! No, I wouldn't like having nowhere to walk but being miles from anywhere, just disadvantages without much else. Would rather be in town or village.

panpipeschill · 14/01/2025 17:13

I lived in the mits of what i call nowhere once a very small village miles from anywhere.
I was there 9 months and hated it moved back to town on a housing estate and bloody love it.
I have shops bus walk to where i need to be see people etc some love the county life but its not for me.

BlondeMamaToBe · 14/01/2025 17:14

We used to but then once my child was at school we moved so we could be within walking distance of school, family, shops, doctors/dentist. Pretty much everything we felt we needed to be close to to make our lives as easy as possible.

Ineedaweebutitswarmhere · 14/01/2025 17:29

I am semi rural, like literally the last house at the edge of our city after that it’s all farmland and woodland with a few small villages and hamlets dotted around. The pavement literally stops at the end of my street and it becomes country lanes with no paths so we still have to get in to car for walks.

I dream about loving somewhere more remote but I kind of have the best of both worlds here.

DS went to one of the village primary schools so couldn’t walk either and we chose to send him to the more rural secondary as it is a top school, so he now has a 30 min bus ride too. The village u11 football team he used to play on had players coming from 20 plus miles away as there is literally nothing for miles in certain directions. Parents being taxis is a real thing as there is limited public transport also.

But the peace and quiet, privacy and scenery are just so worth it, also being semi rural I can still get a takeaway delivered (even if the drivers often get lost) and I can drive into town relatively easily. Although I won’t be winning an eco awards sadly as we do need a car that can cope with hilly barely maintained roads.

Stickortwister · 14/01/2025 17:34

We live in a small village with teenagers. At primary school they walked themselves to village school ( only 50 - 70 children in total) and played out with friends in evenings and at weekends. Lots of freedom from aged 8 or so. When older they either game online to socialise or can walk to friends in the village to hang out in their homes. ( I think he whole drinking of cider in bus shelters common isn't he 90's isn't deemed cool anymore) School bus to secondary school or sixth form. Only one public bus a day so that's not much help. Nearest town is 30 mins away but sports clubs (tennis football or cricket) / scouts etc in neighbouring villages so not too bad for spending time in car. Like anywhere there's issues with drugs /antisocial behaviour but news travels fast and so far they haven't got mixed up with anything.
Eldest now at uni in a city. He loves it there but likes coming home to the quiet too. No regrets here.

Hedgesfullofbirds · 14/01/2025 17:36

@trendingdiscuss, no I don't have teens and, as I said, in my follow up thread, it is different circumstances to many, and I do appreciate and understand that. However, having said that, my very rural upbringing was wonderful, even as a teen myself - although it was nearly five decades ago, granted, and life, expectations, aspirations and teenage wants, needs and desires were significantly different then!

But my formative years have given me a lifelong appreciation for, and interest in, birds, plants, animals, insects and wild places. Although I am, by no means, insular and frequently hop on a train, or drive to London, or other cities, for cultural events, shows etc. And I am, in a few weeks, accompanying a friend on, for me, the trip of a lifetime, to Zimbabwe, her home country - and to be shown around, by one whose home country it is will be an enormous privilege! She has taught me so much about her country, the tribal cultures, cuisine, history and politics, I have taught myself some of her tribal language so that I can converse, at least at a basic level, with her friends and family, but, most of all, I cannot wait to visit the wild places and see the wildlife!

MeanderingGently · 14/01/2025 17:47

I live rurally.
Not in the countryside - lots of people live in the countryside, which is very pretty but full of tourists in the summer (eg. the Cotswolds) and is generally a short drive away from some sort of amenities. I guess I'd describe someone who lives on the edge of a market town overlooking fields as being in the countryside, but not rural as such.

Rural - as I use the term - means in the heart of fields and trees (or moorland, or mountains) with nothing else. Usually acres and acres of farmland. Tiny lanes so small they are single track with passing places but no problem, because a car or the odd van are rarities. No noise except the wind, the bird song, the lowing of cattle perhaps. No street lights at night to ruin the view of the stars. So remote or difficult to find that Tesco and takeaways never deliver. Even the village is a drive away and a market town with a small shop for a bottle of milk is a 40 mile round trip.
I consider myself fortunate that I live in such a place, but then, I'm old enough to not need facilities such as schools and clubs and shopping malls etc.

When my adult children visit they really hate it, whereas I absolutely love this place. My daughter complains that nothing happens here. That's the whole point: apart from the natural world, there is nothing here!

2025StartingIceCold · 14/01/2025 17:51

twistyizzy · 14/01/2025 11:59

Yes and we love it.
Village primary school but now DD has 30 min bus ride to secondary
Dog + horse owner so my free time is spent outdoors
We are a taxi service for DD but as many of her friends are in the same boat we just share the pain with the parents of her friends
I have lived in London + Leeds and no money in the world would get me back to a city or even town. The only noise at night comes from owls, foxes, cows + sheep

Similar for us. I love having sheep for neighbours. Although I plan to return to London when I retire. Ill health means I’m unlikely to be able to drive when I’m older and I can’t live where we live now without being able to drive. Not even moving to the nearest town - it’s just too isolating without a car.

Paplo · 14/01/2025 17:52

Me, but looking forward to being able to move to a town in a couple of years, going to be moving mainly for health reasons as the health options locally arent great, one gp only in the surgery that I don’t get on well with and a very long car journey for hospital appts

Dappy777 · 14/01/2025 18:09

Well, we used to. Then developers hacked down our local woods to build a massive housing estate. Was that enough? Of course not. They then built a second massive estate at the other end of the village. And was that enough? Haha...no, don't be silly. Now we've been told the fields in the centre of the village are going to built on as well. Oh, and the main road into town is going to have an extra 500 houses built along it. That road is clogged with traffic now, so what is it going to be like with an extra 500 cars? Of course, even that won't be enough. I don't know why they don't just concrete over the whole of central and southern England and be done with it. Anyone out there who thinks they're going to retire to some quiet little village is a deluded fool. By the time you retire, there won't BE any villages, just endless rabbit hutch houses all jammed on top of one another.

Abracadabra12345 · 14/01/2025 18:29

@Lookingforwardto2025 I love your reply. Of course to do all that, you have to live lightly and have a DH who thinks the same way 😁

Hedgesfullofbirds · 14/01/2025 18:31

Tel12 · 14/01/2025 16:50

Semi rural. Country views but 10 mins from civilization. Best of both worlds.

In what way is living rurally a seperation from 'civilization'?

soupfiend · 14/01/2025 18:35

PickettyPick · 14/01/2025 12:12

Just interested why you have to drive somewhere to go for a walk if you live rurally?

We drove through a number of 'villages' today on our way somewhere, we were on an A road the whole way through but it was like a country lane. Along the route at various intervals were new housing estates cropping up. No stations for miles and miles, probably around 10-14 miles away at any one time

Those estates when finished will have little roads, perhaps theres around 50-100 houses on each bit. But once you come out tht estate onto the A road, there is no pavement and no lighting. I thought as we were driving along I would never live anywhere like that, you literally cant walk anywhere other than around other little houses in the middle of nowhere, you need a car. No buses either.

trendingdiscuss · 15/01/2025 06:30

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trendingdiscuss · 15/01/2025 06:37

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Princessfluffy · 15/01/2025 07:54

There is of course rural and rural. Some live in desirable and scenic rural with relatively good access to transport and services, lovely big gardens and peace and quiet.

The bad end of rural:

No nice walks without driving
Cannot walk safely on local roads as no pavement or lighting
Car dependency for everything
Kids can't get around as rubbish or no public transport
Socially Isolating
For many it's not quiet or relaxing due to Traffic noise
Gardens often paradoxically small

Poor access to services
Pest issues
Rural crime and lack of policing
Unemployment
Lack of choices

Hence the vast majority of people prefer to live in cities or Towns.

Buggabootwo · 15/01/2025 08:08

I live in the country and I love it. It’s a tiny village with nothing but a village green and a village hall, there’s never been a pub or shop. The views are beautiful and the skies are incredible. We have a lovely community which is very welcoming as virtually everyone is an incomer of some sort (stark contrast to my previous village!). And it is quiet as it’s mostly arable farming (we used to have sheep which make an incredible racket, but now it’s just combines for a few weeks in the summer). It was a PITA when DS was younger and needed lifts everywhere, though fortunately the school bus came through which took out the daily school run after he turned 11.

The downsides are practicalities. We are always bottom of the list when there is a power cut as there are less than 100 people. We are off grid for gas and sewerage so it’s mostly oil, firewood and septic tank which can get brutally expensive. Potholes are a nightmare due to farm vehicles on undermaintained roads. And we are a long way from things like hospitals and doctors. It’s a wonderful place to be now, but I have already decided that I will retire to a small town because it’s not a place for a comfortable old age.