There are a few different things going on here. Planning permission is different from a party wall agreement and that is different from giving them permission to have their builders on your property.
First off, planning permission. There have been some very knowledgeable posters here who have given advice. As a neighbour, you should be notified by the council when an application is made, but I have heard that not all councils do this.
If you google something like "[your local council] planning applications" you will be able to see when they make an application. You will then be able to object at that point.
"Do I just outright ask them for a party wall?"
A Party Wall Agreement comes later, but before they actually start work. The Party Wall Agreement comes into play if either:
- they are doing work which affects any existing party wall (or other structure) between the two properties, or
- if they are building right up to the boundary, or
- if they are building within 3m of your property and are digging foundations that are deeper than yours (or 6m if they're going really deep for eg a basement)
"It will be within 3m of my fence and conservatory but not the main house as it will be built on top of an existing extension which I don’t have."
So, they are adding a first floor extension to an already existing ground floor extension?
If the extension is literally the entire width of their house and goes right up to the party wall, (the wall separating your two houses) then they do need a Party Wall Agreement.
But you say that there is a fence between your properties? So it sounds as though it is not a full width extension?
It will then depend if they have to excavate and put in deeper foundations than already exist and if those foundations are deeper than your foundations.
They will then have to give you notice under the Party Wall Act. You can either agree to this work or not. In your situation I would suggest that you do not agree.
This does not stop the work going ahead, but what it does do is that it ensures that surveyors come out and check the current state of your property so that if it is damaged in any way that you can claim compensation from your neighbour.
They will also determine how the work should be done. But this only relates to work being done under the Act. So in this case it would only be digging the foundations if they were to go deeper than yours and/or, if the extension really is full width then any work done extending the party wall on the first floor.
Apart from that, the Party Wall Act won't affect any of the building work to be done.
From then on, when the work actually starts it is likely that they will try and get you to agree to have scaffolding on your property. There are no end of horror stories here on MN from people who allowed their neighbours to do this.
Do not at any point agree to let them put any scaffolding on your property without first reading some of the threads here.