Does your kid care about brands?

[Mishmashs]

In the last year my 9 year old son has got really insistent that he needs to wear (sports type) branded clothing to fit in. After a huge amount of persistence from him we got him an Under Armour hoody, he has Nike trainers and football boots. He’s autistic and clearly trying to fit in but he’s getting so upset by the whole thing, tonight in tears because I won’t let him wear branded sports shorts (not that he has any) to school. As far as I’m concerned they wear grey school shorts but he walks himself to school so it’s not something I have really noticed. The school is quite relaxed about uniform, for shoes they wear whatever they like. We’re not a family into brands at all and I’m not personally keen on kids traipsing around dressed head to toe in Adidas or Nike. He’s had an explosion tonight with shouting and tears ahead of school starting tomorrow.

is this normal for 9/10 yr old boys? I wasn’t like this as a child at all, mostly I wouldn’t have dared tell my mum she needed to buy me something expensive just because it had a label. Once I saved half and she went half on a pair of Kickers (90s school kid) and I remember that being a really big deal.

Bravo your daughter. The world could do with more of this.

My own boys are happy with m&s trackies/jeans and band t-shirts thank god.

My 10 year old isn't interested in brands, eldest wasn't until about 12. I would go with it and buy from discount clothing stores online. Until they want something specific branded sports stuff doesn't have to be expensive.

Not the point about brands don't matter and not following the crowd... but can you buy some branded bits on vinted for him?

I have two boys 6&8, they both like Nike. Little one just copying his brother I think, but boys at their school seem to wear a lot of Nike for PE and non uniform days. They have a few bits each from Vinted but wear unbranded stuff mostly. I did buy my eldest a Nike hoodie as a Christmas gift though.

If a lot of your DS' friends are into brands or the kids he admires are, then it's probably irrelevant what a bunch of us think as he no doubt wants to fit in.
DD wasn't particularly bothered by brands until she hit secondary school. DS, on the other hand, was brand conscious from Yr5 and, from Yr6, only really wore brands. He's now at secondary and he and all of his friends look as though they've bought all of their clothes from Sports Direct & JD.

One yes the other couldn't care less.

I have one autistic DC who is not into brands and orders their own individual style and one neurotypical DC who likes branded footwear but happy in Next clothing.

If you DC is autistic they might want the branded stuff to fit as others suggested @Mishmashs but also remember that autistic people can have intense interests so this might be all about 'the look' of the brands at the moment for him and it can seem overpowering and all consuming.

No

My DS12 refuses to wear anything with a logo on it. He is very contrary though and deliberately goes against anything popular. He wouldn’t even read Harry Potter when he was at primary school because everyone else loved it. Yes he does cut his nose off to spite his face.

If my child spoke to me so ungratefully, those clothes would be returned.
He is 9 - you decide what you can afford and what’s appropriate to be worn. I used to work in a school and it’s unbelievable what some parents give in to - those stupid Prime drinks as an example. Parents (who could not afford it) were paying £20+ for them, just so their kids could bring it in and show off. Clothes, make up etc all similar. Parents too afraid to say no.

I'd also come down on the ungrateful and demanding behaviour. That's not ok. If he usually goes alone to school, you could offer to walk with him to see if it's true. You could give him jobs to earn the £35 and see if he thinks it's still worth it. It's not too young to show him what else £35 can buy e.g. desserts for a couple of months or whatever. It's pretty normal at this age to not really have an idea of what money means or it's value, (especially when they're learning calculations with "big" numbers in school!) so maybe working on that a bit with him for day to day things might help. You could offer that he can pay the difference between normal shorts and the ones he wants from his pocket money. Remind him he can request big items for birthday/Christmas if you do that.

Autistic 13yo not remotely interested. He's very young for his age and I'm starting to change his clothes for slightly more age appropriate (boring?) stuff...he'd still wear dinosaurs every day.
NT 11yo boy is Nike. All Nike. Or football kit. It's infuriating but he uses his pocket money to contribute to his trainers anything over £40. He wants to dress Nike head to toe and carry a man bag and to me it just looks, well, chavvy (though MN doesn't like us saying that!) and I'm really not keen but I figure since he's almost out of money and the other kids have over £300 saved each then he'll soon learn.
NT 11yo girl not bothered. Wears brands, but ones I pick and I get the stuff from M&M direct so last season or whatever and good pricing. She also wears high street, if she likes it she wears it and the name doesn't matter.

DS9 is definitely Nike crazy! I think it's better to buy a few branded bits they wear and look after than loads of supermarket clothes they hate and it's a battle to wear!
Started with football kits I think but honestly I buy stuff from Vinted and Sports Direct and it's not much more expensive than normal shops! I explained he cant have loads of it and he used his birthday money to top up what I'd usually spend on trainers to get the newest Nike ones. At this age their feet growth is slowing down so you tend to get longer out of each pair.
(You can also get new football kits on Vinted for about £30 they may or may not be completely real but no one could tell that what all DS friends and us do!)
Deichman also really good for Nike trainers. I really rate the plain black Nike trainers for school- Court Boroughs they are called- they are really hard wearing and you can pick them up in Sports Direct or Deichman for much less than Clarks- I just got 2 of my boys Nike trainers in Deichman on buy one get one half price for school and for both it was £50 which is what one pair of Clarks cost! And Clark's are so boring and fussy duddy- not many 9 year olds still want dinosaur soled shoes...The Nike ones stand up to lots of football playing at school.

100% she isn’t exaggerating, every primary aged girl and young teen I know owns a pair lol

This is nothing to do with being autistic. My partner is and he doesn't care what he wears and never did.

He’s had an explosion tonight with shouting and tears ahead of school starting tomorrow.

He definitely doesn't get it now or he learns that tantrums get what he wants.

No , my dd1 never has and is quite happy with places like H&M .

DD 9 not too bothered about brands for every day life (although someone told her the airup bottle she’d saved for was fake which really upset her - it’s not!) however she’s obsessed with one brand associated with her specific hobby and has been for ages! We buy stuff for birthday/xmas and there is a strong 2nd hand market for it so it’s not too bad. We certainly don’t spend £100s on full sets every new release like some parents seem to though!

Some useful advice here. I’m not dead set against brands and appreciate sales and Vinted it was more last nihjt it resulted in a meltdown because he is convinced no one wears normal grey school shorts and they are all in Nike sports shorts or whatever. No one wears trousers. The school is v relaxed on uniform but if this is true then it kind of defeats the point of a uniform which is they all wear the same and you don’t have haves and have nots.

I do think his autism comes into it, since the winter he has become intensely interested in football (after refusing to touch a ball for years) and seeing all the pro players in their sponsored kit etc plus some of his friends seem to have the latest boots (the kind of kids who are bought an Xbox just months after being bought a switch).

My autistic DS is almost 8 and obsessed with brands too. Nike and bloody Sketchers here! I don't give in to it yet but will to an extent in the teen years. I think it is a normal part of trying to fit in, but magnified when your DC struggles to fit in. My DH was never allowed branded clothes as a teen, not because his Mum couldn't afford it but more of a 'stick it to the brands' attitude. I think it is a bit unfair to do that to a teen who is trying to fit in.

I think the autism may play a part in being able to process the emotions associated with the disappointment. I think my NT kids can handle not having their own way a lot better than my autistic kid. They still sulk, there may be tears, but they eventually understand money doesn't grow on trees and they can't have everything. I asked 11yo to wait a few months to see if he still wanted some trainers .....they were cream mesh fabric so definitely summer and he had his eye on them in March. I said wait, feet might grow, you may not like them then etc and yesterday he said he's changed his mind they aren't worth it.
This is a conversation I just could not have with eldest. He would scream, shout, lash out and it would be a huge deal. He wouldn't sleep and his world would end. So thank god he doesn't like clothes! But he likes other stuff and we have to have the conversations around his interests.

Vinted is a good shout for cheap branded stuff.
I think there is a skew from people whose kids aren't interested in this thread. In real life most of the kids in my son's class have some branded bits on, mostly trainers but also T-shirts etc.

DS15 and DS10 here.

Neither of them have ever been brand conscious. In fact DS15 chose his men's shorts in Asda just last week without batting an eyelid. He is however obsessed with vintage football shirts but he uses his own money for that, and he looks after them really well, so we have no issue with buying him the odd shirt.

There is a subtle difference here though. As I said, my boys aren't brand conscious, but they do have some odd bits from Adidas or Nike but not because they have to have that item, more so because that's what we found in the shop (probably Sports Direct sale), or their football boots are all either Adidas or Nike.
So you could say that they are obsessed because they have an item. They really aren't, they don't care if it's Nike or Sondico 🤷‍♀️

My 9.5 year old DD is just getting interested now (wants a white fox hoodie!), Other DD is 13 and very much into brands, started noticing and asking for things around 9/10 too.
So normal I would say, they want to fit in.
I get them a mixture of branded and unbranded (plain black leggings with a branded top for example).
Vinted and eBay are also good for bargains. Also sports direct sales!