Jobs you thought would be fabulous but actually weren't?

[GardenDreams]

I was a full time fine artist for 30 years (traditional painting, mixed media and pattern design) worked with book publishing, freelance, galleries, online print sales, various large companies and a few partnerships with celebs. Not as exciting as it sounds though, lol.

Throughout this period, many people looked at me with awe after asking what I did, mostly in surprise that I could earn enough to live on (it came close, at times). I do get the impression that many people think that this is a very thrilling and freeing way to live, but the reality was quite stressful and scary, at least financially, at times. It was a good long slog, with some tricky customers and another full time job dealing with social media. And the work never, ever stopped - there was no clocking off or guilt free holidays. Aside from the online glamour of how it looks, it eventually becomes less about self expression and more like a production line. At times I was completely, visually exhausted.

There are tons of newly proclaimed artists of a certain age on insta, and now more than ever before are offering art courses (after only 6 months in to being self taught), so it's very much a competitive kind of 'grind' culture which has multiplied in the past 6 years.. It is 'sold' as an alternative, lucrative side hustle, but is actually far from the oh so relaxing vibe these insta accounts make out in their posts.

I am still creating but have moved over into a new field that I love, and only now can I see how utterly draining and hard it was when I look back on it. But I am sure so many people still think the idea is quite romantic and liberating.

Anyone else with a similar story? I am cure there are tons of careers that sound wonderful to me, that might be really soul destroying or at least stressful in reality. My fantasy job would have been an archivist, but I took such a different path at ui that I dare say that boat sailed a long time ago!

There’s no money in it. A lot of people publish a book because it gives them bragging rights and brings them other opportunities like public speaking engagements. They rarely make much money off the book itself.

I also edit and proofread for many different publishers. People think the job sounds glamorous but the pay for what is highly skilled work is an insult.
I do this sort of work too. It isn’t well paid but it’s cushy wfh freelance work that pays the bills. Compared to teaching (which I also used to do) and it’s way easier for the same money.

Not as gruelling or heart-rending as some of these, but the amount of stuff people expect you to do for free as a writer... Most writers have to do other work to support themselves - teaching or editing or jobs outside the sector. So any time you take out of that is taking you away from your income. It doesn't help to be told that 'it'll be exposure for you!'

Also, I don't write for children at all, but the expectation is that I'd be delighted to do a free afternoon coaching 30 of the reluctant little buggers for a school or festival (this doesn't happen so much to male writers, I notice). They may even offer a fee, but at the end of the session try to guilt you with how poor the school is and it would be really kind if you could waive it... In any joint venture, the writer is usually the last/least paid, after the PRs, organisers, admins and guy who stacks the chairs at the end.

I know people who've been lured to a distant festival with the promise of 'accommodation' which turns out to be a mat on someone's floor or sharing a child's bedroom... one who turned up early and was made to wait outside a cafe in the rain, from where he could see the organisers having a hearty dinner inside. I came out of a reading once to be approached by a bloke clutching a huge novel manuscript - he said he'd been 'too busy to go to my reading, but could I take a look at his novel and tell him how to get it published'.

I've had the damndest job dissuading my neighbours from giving me their children's books to somehow get published, or telling me they have a great story that I could write down and then we'd 'share the profits'. This refusal, of course, makes you a meany old gatekeeper who doesn't want to share the luck and riches of publishing.

Because, of course, you are 'lucky' to do what you do, and must be 'the next JK Rowling!' aka vastly wealthy... 😫

I always wanted to be an Estate Agent (for some strange reason).
In my head: swanning around in my smart business suit and company car with my mobile phone (This was in the 90's) nosing at beautiful houses, doing the big deals, making peoples dreams comes true, raking in the commission and partying after work 😆

In reality: Big targets, small commission, archaic management styles, rude vendors/buyers who assumed you must have made their buyer/seller pull out as you just do the job for fun, attending repossessions😔arriving at houses early to open all the windows because the house smells like a litter tray and to kick the dirty underwear under the bed, having your day totally thrown because your first viewing couldn't be bothered to turn up on time, 6 day weeks with late finishes, showing viewers into a bedroom to find someone still in bed (even though they knew we were coming)....sometimes with someone they shouldn't have been in bed with 😂I could write a book.

For just under ten years I was a wildlife gardening writer for a large organisation. Enjoyed it to begin with, as there was a certain kudos in working for them, but the pay was lousy and they weren't good at paying on time. I think they believed that the pleasure of working for such a respectable organisation made up for the poor pay. In the end I realised that looking out for new things to photograph and write about meant that I'd stopped seeing the world about me, as I was constantly focused on 'what's next'. Now I get to just look at wildlife and enjoy it without feeling obliged to get good shots and work up a story.

Psychological therapist.

After a few years working in another mental health-related role, I finally got the opportunity to train in the NHS as a therapist. This inevitably means CBT (which I believe can be really helpful but is also widely over-sold and probably unpopular with many for understandable reasons). I get to do some other types of therapy too, although not the sort of psychodynamic in-depth work that I would love to be able to deliver one day.

Don't get me wrong - it is amazing in a lot of ways. Clients trust me with their problems and I try my best to help. It's a really life-affirming thing because all the time you meet people who've had these terrible experiences and are living with terrible distress and yet they still have the chance to move forwards with their lives... and often what they've achieved by themselves is incredible. I'm in awe of how extraordinary people are. Sometimes I can see that I am helping and that does give me a sense of purpose and hope.

On the other hand, CBT has its limitations and seems to force people's problems into boxes that often don't fit. At times the work feels like a bit of a therapy factory. I'm lucky enough to work in secondary MH rather than for an IAPT / Talking Therapies service, so at least I get to give people extra sessions if I want to and don't have to make my clients complete 'outcome measures' every week. Others have it a lot worse. Interestingly I read that counsellors / therapists working for IAPTs have really high levels of mental health difficulties themselves, perhaps linked to burn-out and work stress and a sense that they don't have the time to give their clients the support they really need.

There's also the emotional side of it all. I'm fairly resilient but it can get on top of you sometimes - the clients who want to end their lives, or have been horrifically abused, or are experiencing some sort of psychosis and can't tell what's real. I remind myself that it's a million times worse for them living it than for me to hear about it. One of my clients ended their life a while ago after a spell in hospital and I couldn't stop thinking about it for a long time - kept raking over everything I'd ever said and done in our sessions; convinced myself that I'd basically murdered them by not doing more... I will admit that I had some time off with stress and anxiety as I became so consumed by it that I couldn't do my job. I live in fear of it happening again.

Bridal fitter and alterations for a bridal salon.
Most brides are truly lovely. Their mothers, on the other hand, can be a handful at times. One followed me round the bride, moving my pins to where SHE thought they should be. i had to make her leave the appt, which got me into trouble with the shop but I had no option, she was interfering with my job. Then i did the whole hem again.
Unrealistic expectations, high tensions, family dramas, misbehaviour, brides in high emotional states, nervous farts (yes really, it's common) and sulky teenagers who don't want to try on their dresses....chaos, really.

Shop paid me crap, no pension, no benefits, holidays, anything.

I'm now self employed and still do wedding alterations alongside other sewing work, so the bridal chaos is tempered by nice simple trouser alterations and making cushion covers!

Running a business full stop!

I started an events business before covid which was so much fun as we were putting on educational events for creatives which attracted the types of people I’ve always wanted to meet that were like me. When covid came that industry changed and we feel like we have been constantly pivoting since. Constantly explaining our value to people and why we are charging x amount. It was great to fall back on when I was made redundant but its inconsistency meant it sometimes didn’t cover our life expenses.

It looks amazing on paper. We’ve won awards and have great industry partners and also friendships and like many on here have said - the stories!!

When a young person tells me that they want to start a business because being employed is a waste of time, I tell them to learn everything they can from a job. Find a job that they can learn from and make friends along the way. Develop the business skills. Develop your craft on the side when you have time.

I spent a decade working full time in marketing and looking back, I enjoyed myself just as much. Made friends, had stories to tell and developed a skill. Running a business is exhausting! It’s a skill in itself and you need to be in the money and money oriented to really make it work.

Academic. Work is relentless, average 60+ hours a week, low pay in spite of years in education/training (4 years BSc, 2 masters, 5 years PhD, 5 years post-doc and counting) with a first salary as a post-doc at Cambridge for 30k at age 32. Moving from contract to contract, writing very clever papers and creating very clever products while partnering with industry but getting paid nothing for it. Endless part-time teaching and tutoring jobs while studying. It drives me nuts when junior doctors and doctors complain about what a hard time they are having.

Agree with this. DH works in tech and I’d be delighted if our DD chose a similar career. A lot of flexibility, decent pay, and he says it’s a great environment for women as there aren’t many of them and companies would like to hire more.

May I add that my bitterness about medicine comes from the fact that it was a lost opportunity. I did not take up an offer to study medicine and pursued my dream of being a scientist instead. And now I feel that at least the doctors earn! no offence to any doctors out there!

All of these creative jobs (well most of these) are my dream jobs🤣 I made peace with myself that I missed out (couldn’t afford to go this route, needed to earn money early on), but still feel the sadness occasionally, this thread is making me feel better about my lawyer path 🤣
sadly cant yet afford home studio on half acre of garden, something to aspire to when im 70 🤣🤣🤣

I worked for a independent TV Production Company in my 20s, thought it would be glamorous and fun but it was just psychos, egomaniacs and sycophants all dancing round each other and proclaiming how marvellous they all were, while bitching behind each others backs.

I couldn't wait to get out of there!

This is such an interesting thread. What I'm mainly taking from it is that work sucks in most forms!

Definitely this. I was a graphic designer for 25 years before retaining. The pay is 20 years behind other occupations which require a comparable amount of intelligence and creative thinking and the whole creative sector is rabidly obsessed with young people.

Well, where do I start...?

Yes totally, I only started making decent money when I freelanced & that was swinging by the seat of my pants most of the time 😂

Any job where you come into contact with the awful general public.

Any job that is “creative” or entrepreneurial in nature. In reality these jobs mean long, hard hours, trying to please demanding customers and the actual element of creativity is completely quashed.

My advice to my children is to go into data fields. I have worked for a charity, in education and in performing arts. All badly paid, exhausting and you’re treated with little or no respect, because these types of careers are reserved for people with a “calling” & therefore your love for your work overcomes actual necessities like regular pay, good team or senior support, reasonable hours etc. Yeah right!

This definitely has been an eye opener. I don’t have the most exciting job in the world (R&D in Pharma) but have very flexible hours, job security, work in a lovely office with generally nice people, great pay/bonus and no micromanaging). There are a few downsides too as there is to everything but I don’t think I’d swap it for any of these jobs. I thought some of these careers would be much more interesting/glamorous.
No career is easy and those who “make it” in careers in tv/authors/modelling etc seem to be very limited and likely have done many years of drudgery too.

This.. and I hear so many kids say they want to be youtubers as a full time job. I give them a dose of reality 😆

I spent a short time selling wedding dresses. People used to come in and say, “Oh, what a lovely job this must be!” A few things that I haven’t managed to quite blank from my memory:

A bitchy MIL who had obviously come along just to tell the bride to be that every dress made her look fat/was unflattering.
The heartbreak of a skint bride who had fallen in love with an impossibly expensive dress that she was never going to be able to order. She still popped in every weekend to try it on.
The bride who ordered her dress, waited four months for it to turn up and in the meantime forgot which one she’d chosen. When it arrived, she was raging. We’d ordered the wrong one and ruined her life. We hadn’t. We had the order form, signed by her, and it even had a picture of the dress on it.
The lovely but scatterbrained alterations lady who had to shorten one of those massive, millions of layers of tulle meringues. The only way to do that is to cut it with scissors. She did this by hanging the dress from the ceiling and chopping away. It ended up too short, and also a bit uneven. That one was ok - we got another one in a hurry.
The woman who turned up with half a dozen small children, on a Saturday, and wanted them all put into the same dress, simultaneously, so she could see the overall effect. We actually had many sample dresses, but they were all different sizes and colours. She was not happy.
I could write a whole thread about all of the bickering bridesmaids and the great White v. Ivory debate!

International assassin. I thought it would be like The Day of the Jackal, all tailored suits and fast cars and posh watches. Turns out you spend most of the time negotiating the contracts with boring entitled men and when you travel you have to stay in shit hotels and not talk to anyone ever. The most glamorous place I've got to visit for work is Salisbury Cathedral.

Midwifery, only lasted 6 months. Bullying mentor ad night shifts that involved hours staring at a monitor. Loved the postnatal side but didn’t want to be on a permanent rotation.

Farming. I left my previous career to join my husband on his farm.
We have livestock so we have no holidays, my husband works 365 days.
The worry about the livestock. People walking their dogs in amongst our cows (no right to roam) then getting cross with us when we tell them they are trespassing & putting themselves in danger.
We are at the mercy of the “free” market as to how much we get paid for our livestock. Imagine putting so much money, effort, care & time into something not knowing how much you will be paid at the end?
Same with the cereals we grow, we literally have no idea if we will make a profit come payday. Last years harvest we just broke even due to high fertiliser costs, machinery breakdown costs & diesel.
Farms can’t afford staff anymore. This farm used to have 3 full time workers alongside 3 family members. We are now down to 1 full time worker and 2 family members. So that is 3 people doing the same work that 6 people used to do. More hours, more stress.
I could go on & on…
When I write it down, it seems madness.
I worry about my husband, too much stress is not healthy.

Worked in a publishing house, as an editor. I didn't hate it by any means, but it's far less glamorous than it sounds and it's not very well paid.

Working for a Secretary of State in their Private Office. Aside from non-Civil Servants (and some actual Civil Servants in Ops!) thinking you're beneath a secretary in the pecking order, it is long-hours and extremely stressful with crap pay (HEO-G7 is dreadful for the work done). It is even worse if you end up with people like Raab or Badenoch as your SoS.

Thankfully, it gives you stupidly amazing experience to leave on promotion either to a sought after policy area or the private sector for a lot of money.