How safe is London?? Anxiety!

[BeingmummyIsTheBestxo]

My partner has let slip that he's booked a weekend in London for in couple weeks time for my birthday, we will be going for one.nigjt and watching a show at the west end. He's booked it all and arranged childcare for our toddler. I don't want to seem ungrategul, I'm very thankful especially as h doesn't usually do gestures like this! But I a m scared, I do have anxiety and OCD but mainly pure o with the intrusive thoughts. It is quite severe. Since I found out we ar going all I have done is worry about things, terror attacks, being mugged, train crashes, getting stuck on the tube etc etc. I have been to London a few times before but obviously my anxiety has massively tripled. Those of you that live in London how safe actually is it? I imagine these scenarios are not common. I'm really scared and I just know that the whole time leading up to and the time of being there I will be an anxious nervous wreck. I've even gone as far to write a letter toy toddler as I'm terrified I won't come back!!

I've fainted on rush hour tube and everyone was so nice! People got their water bottles out, took me gently off the train, making themselves late, waited with me until LU staff came. They were also lovely and gave me a sweet telling off for not eating a proper breakfast.

Honestly, give Londoners a chance, and they'll be nice to you!

I lived in London for 15 years, it’s very safe in central London. I felt far safer there at night than I do now in my commuter town.
you need help with your anxiety, is your GP helping? Are you on the right medication?
Hope you have a wonderful time

I've lived in London for all but 4 years since 1988. It's absolutely fine! If you want help with planning journeys etc then just post the name of the show you're going to and the hotel you're staying at (without dates) and we can give you better advice.

Incidentally, the MN Uniqlo bag is brilliant if you're worried about pickpockets, so why not treat yourself!

As a Pokémon Go player, my app tells me that I've walked 15,000 kilometres round Central and not-so-Central London over the last 8 years with my phone in my hand, at all times of the day and night, normally with headphones over my ears. In that time I've lost one phone to clumsiness, one to old age and one to water damage, but I've never had one nicked, or had anyone attempt it.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't keep an eye on your belongings, and I definitely wouldn't buy a handbag without a zip, but the roaming hordes of gadget nabbers people are warning you about are IME slightly overstated.

I'm unmedicated at the moment but that's a different story! Maybe why I'm in a bit of a pickle.

It does happen, though, so as well to take precautions. Though I've had it derided on here, I use an A-Z rather than my phone (not that my four year old Android would tempt the most desperate thief) because it's easier to open up and see where I am (and I'm a Luddite anyway 😉)

I wander around London on my own all the time and feel very safe! Always people of all ages around and places open. You’ll have a great time!

I have anxiety too. I’ve done cbt therapy which has helped. You are worrying about hypothetical things which you cannot do anything about - there’s power in realising that!

make a list of all your worries, separate them into those that are practical worries and those that are hypothetical. The practical worries you can brainstorm to come up with solutions which should help you feel better . Then the hypothetical worries there’s nothing you can do about because they are entirely made up by your brain so you can discount them. Breathing exercises help too when I feel panicky

Aww lovely. Try not to panic. I've lived in London for the entirety of my 54 years and most of that in deepest darkest South London ( "here be dragons" etc!) and I've never ever been mugged or hurt in any way. I was caught up in the 2005 Tube bombings but that is such a rare occurrence as to not be something to worry about ( I was back on the tubes as soon as it reopened).

Yes there are some nutters about but that's standard.

Keep your phone and purse close to you in a crossbody. Don't wear a rucksack ( or if you do, wear it on your front.) Don't get money or phone out in the street or wear anything too fancy looking jewellery wise and you'll be fine.

Get Ubers or taxis if you're anxious -and sit downstairs on buses just to be on the safe side and in the view of the driver.

Have a lovely time.

I occasionally go to London on my own doing tourist stuff and I have never been afraid and I feel safe. I use a crossover bag ensuring the zip is closed in front of me not behind. Only take the bare minimum of cards, separate from phone, train ticket home and some cash in jeans front pocket or cost pocket. If I'm staying overnight my rucksack contains nothing of value. If someone wants to steal underwear, pjs, toothbrush and deodorant they are welcome to it.

My partner won't go because "of terrorists" but that is his choice. On a 2 night trip years ago I had to reassure him I would be fine and took a wind up torch, whistle and some chewy oat bars at his insistence! They weren't needed.

I went on my own last December, May just gone with my teenage niece and I'm looking forward to my next solo trip in July.

I have lived in London for twenty years and have never experienced any crime.

London can be a bit overwhelming as a visitor because it’s busy with people, but it’s broadly quite safe.

Let me know if you need any recommendations in the West End!

My partner won't go because "of terrorists" but that is his choice. On a 2 night trip years ago I had to reassure him I would be fine and took a wind up torch, whistle and some chewy oat bars at his insistence! They weren't needed

What was the torch and whistle for, and does he know there are shops in London, some of them open all night? or was he perhaps thinking that you'd end up buried under debris and the whistle would alert your rescuers as to where you were?

I hope you at least ate the oat bars.

I was in London today. It was fine.

Previously lived there. Always felt safe.

If you get claustrophobic on the tube, just get taxis or stay somewhere where you can walk everywhere you need to be.

It sounds like you're more anxious about the distance from your toddler and what it will be like to be without him.

So London's a great opportunity to do the things you haven't been able to do the past 2 years. Can you arrange for updates from his carer in that time? Not too frequent, but something that fits the rhythm of his day and gives the carer time to message you?

Keep your phone and purse close to you in a crossbody. Don't wear a rucksack ( or if you do, wear it on your front.) Don't get money or phone out in the street or wear anything too fancy looking jewellery wise and you'll be fine.

I've lived here for twenty years while routinely wearing a rucksack on my back, getting money and phone out in the street (how else am I going to navigate or change my music?) and wearing whatever jewellery I like. Yet to have anything stolen.

I've even gone as far to write a letter toy toddler as I'm terrified I won't come back!!

Can I make a gentle suggestion? bin the letter. Every time you see it and think about leaving it for DC, the letter will be a visual reminder of your fears about the trip and keep them at the front of your mind.

The torch in case I was trapped in the underground and the electricity failed, I hope I would have the use of my hands to wind it up. The whistle to draw attention to my whereabouts in an emergency situation because "that girl in Titanic would have drowned if she didn't use the whistle" and the oat bars because it could be hours and I might get hungry.

Yes I know that going so far as to write letter is a little unhinged. I think my anxiety is more of a what if x happens and I die etc etc I think my brain is trying to find danger and ways to avoid it as it's engrained in my brain to behave this way.

Yes I'll be able to get regular updates, he's staying with his auntie wgi he knows and loves so I know he will be fine.

I've walked down the road holding my purse ready to get my card out to touch in on the bus or train and never had a problem, either. Just make sure your bag isn't gaping wide open if you're going to be somewhere like Oxford Street, no sense putting temptation in people's way.

Don't wear jewellery so can't comment on that 😄

I feel safer in London than I do walking home from the station in my semi rural tiny town. In London there are always people around. Where I live I can walk all the way home in the evening without seeing a soul. And that creeps me out.

Honestly, now my kids are grown, is rather live in London than here. There's safety in numbers I reckon. I can happily walk late at night in London because there's always people and lights. And if I had a problem there'd always be people to see me and help.

... And yep, I have my phone out a lot of the time, for directions. So far so good.

The whistle to draw attention to my whereabouts in an emergency situation because "that girl in Titanic would have drowned if she didn't use the whistle" and the oat bars because it could be hours and I might get hungry

Right. OK. Well, it's nice he's concerned, I guess. 😉Has he ever been to London?

I live just outside London. I don't feel unsafe in London at all. I hate the train home, but that's because of the people on it (the ones who don't live in London, but just outside it like I do)!

I hope you have a good time - I'm sure you will. Have a plan for what you want to do. My dh has surprised me with the odd city break when what I really wanted was a spa day or similar in the countryside and total peace and relaxation. But we've always had a great time in the end

It's extremely safe. But I do understand your anxiety as i have also suffered from bouts of intrusive thoughts/anxiety around travel before. And i understand that leaving your toddler will have triggered this.
So, i would download the calm app and listen to it on route. The tube is perfectly safe, but it is grotty, so if you're worried about that, you could get a taxi or walk around most of London. The west end is very safe. I think that it's important that you go otherwise these thoughts tend to win. I think that once you get there you will feel safe, relax and have a wonderful time. You won't actually have much time there and half of it will be spent in your hotel. So you will only really have time for the theatre, dinner and maybe a bit of shopping the next day.
You will feel much better once you're there, i promise...but if you don't, you can always stay in the hotel or head back. It's no big deal!
Also take a nice book or a funny podcast. I love Radio 4s it's a fair cop as it's a great distraction.