What do you do in the evening? I need ideas. I so bored.

[ApolloandDaphne]

I'm age 61 and retired. DH still working but will be retired soon. I have a dodgy hip so a lot of exercise is out. I'm bored watching TV and i do a lot of things during the day that come the evening i don't want to do (housework, garden, dog walks, jigsaws, reading, audio books, hobby groups, volunteering etc). I am also doing a degree part time. But semester has ended now.

I need things to do in the evening to keep me busy. I haven't got the best eyesight and by the time evening comes they are too weary to read more or do anything involving close work.

DH is tired after a day at work and where i want to chat he is peopled out (this will change when he retires). I love playing board games but DH doesn't.

Is there something i have missed? What do people do in the evening?

Duolingo? Podcasts?

I forgot about online scrabble. I am sore I have that app. I might get back into that.

Listen to pod casts? Do volunteering which involves speaking to someone on the phone -

www.ageuk.org.uk/get-involved/volunteer/telephone-friend/#:~:text=Just%2030%20minutes%20of%20your,a%20Telephone%20Friendship%20Service%20volunteer.

That's good that you like puzzles. It sounds like you have a busy (and externally it sounds like it's a fulfilling) retirement.

You're saying you study, volunteer, exercise (dog walk), are in a choir, do gardening, puzzles and read.

But something clearly isn't working for you - so what part of it is it that you want more of? It sounds like you're saying you want more intellectual stimulation but I think if you're already doing puzzles, jigsaws and a book club and courses then without e.g. taking up reading complex books. and that doesn't sound like it would suit your eyes.

That, to me, suggests you potentially need more intellectual stimulation during the day so that when it gets to evening that's not what you're still looking for? Maybe a more complex volunteering role, depending what you already do?

I find meeting up with friends pretty intellectually simulating - discussing politics, current affairs, science, health etc. Could you go for walks/have friends over for dinner?

Alternatively, is it just that you need activities to occupy you? If that's the case, what about swimming? Does that work with your hip? Can be quite a nice thing to go out and do in the evening.

DH and I plan to do this together when he retires. I will have completed my degree by then. I'm looking forward to it.

If you want to stimulate your mind look up MOOC. Free online short courses from major educational institutions. Huge variety of topics.

Have you tried podcasts? This is a political one that gives more context than short news items. https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-rest-is-politics/id1611374685

Also I would probably move audio books and jigsaws to evening activities.

Volunteer for Age UK's telephone befriending service? Half an hour a week.

You are right. I do a fair amount. It's just the evenings that are an issue. I love to be intellectually challenged and DH can provide this in his chat when he is not exhausted. I find by the evening my hip is sore but my mind is still buzzing.

Tues-Sat Usually by the time dinner is done and cleaned up it’s 7pm. I scroll on my phone for an hour then listen to podcasts or watch tv (I’ll put a film on and usually enjoy it if I don’t feel like normal tv). Then I do some yoga nidra (it’s meditation not physical yoga).

Monday night - I do an online Yin Yoga class 8-9 (it’s amazing let me know if you want me to share the details via dm) followed by a long soak in the bath.

Sunday night - I do my ironing and then get in bed and sort out my life admin, finances, plans for the week, online shopping, reply to emails etc. Helps me to feel organised for the week ahead.

I just like to be at home in the evenings. I do plenty of socialising in the day time
so don’t feel like I’m missing out. I find quiet evenings restful and help me to sleep better.

When I do audio books I need to do something else at the same time so I walk the dog, cook, clean, garden, do jigsaws or drive when listening. They don't engage me enough to just sit and listen. Jigsaws I can do any time of the day. I do them so quickly though. The local charity shops can't keep me in sufficient jigsaws!

Still pondering here, could you write something and try and get it published with a journal in the area your degree is in? Or even e.g. philosophy now or whatever similar magazine exists for your area of interest? It sounds like you want deep intellectual engagement and academia is an area where people often work for the love of it well beyond retirement.

I actually wonder if my question should be 'why do I get bored so easily?'

I would LOVE to write something but not philosophy! That was my last unit at uni and I loathed it. English lit and art history are the two things I love and am good at.

Is there anyone locally you could meet up with to play board games with? If there is no one you know currently how about posting on your local FB group, I’m sure there are people in the same boat who would love some company to play games!

Because you’re intelligent.

I know you’ll probably immediately think this is weird, but why not get a second hand Xbox (or PlayStation or whatever… I don’t really know what I’m talking about) and play something you’d never normally do, like some army game.

It might open up a whole new world that you never knew you liked!

I don't think that's weird at all. In fact I've often wondered about it. I think my DH would think I had lost my mind but I would probably enjoy the challenge of some of the games.

What about an online language course? And then plan a holiday (budget allowing) to that country for when your DH retires?

These evenings, I sit outside, go for short walks, garden, de-clutter, bake/cook.

Go for it! Years ago I randomly played Red Dead Redemption once and then became utterly hooked for about 2 months, then one day put it down and never played on a console again.
Give it a go - you can always sell it!

My local uni does summer school classes (I’m doing one) it’s only for a few weeks, twice a week. But it’s cheap and you can do more than one.

There’s a newish local art organisation close to me that does a weekly class and they do a new craft/art process.

Are you on Facebook, I would put a post on a local group and see what’s going on locally to you, finding out what goes on is a bit hit and miss.

Cinema, theatre, gigs, a nearby art gallery often has evening events, gym once a week (I usually go in the day) and meeting with friends after.

I do a little freelance copy-editing. Mine is for a specific publisher, but you could easily pick up work from PHD students wherever you are doing your degree.

I have an allotment, and often potter there in the evening - I have (had until yesterday, hurray) hip arthritis, but found movement helped even when it was painful.

I go out to dinner now and again,,either with my husband, other family, or friends, and I host the odd very informal dinner here.

Aside from reading I:

• Exercise a bit when I'm not too tired! I do body weight, stretches or dumbbell in exercises at home alone or copy a YouTube video.
• Play card or board games with DH. Now and then we have a group of friends round to play games, drink, chat, snack and be merry.
• Watch telly/Netflix alone or with DH. We usually watch a film together on Netflix or Disney+ about once a fortnight too.
• Occasionally go out for a meal and drinks or cinema with friends.
• Listen to podcasts.
• Have a bath.
• Tidy up.
• Do a sorting type job I've put off for months if motivated like sorting through paperwork or a toy box or wardrobe or whatever.
• Life admin on the laptop like paying bills, comparison sites, booking childcare etc.
• Go to bed early if I'm very tired! Kids aren't asleep and settled til 8 and if I'm knackered I will go to bed at 9 myself so after tidying and a cup of tea it's not time to do owt else anything.

Another option, are you potentially feeling under stimulated because of a lack of interactions with people? Most of the activities you mention are solo ones, and you say you struggle with DH wanting to talk in the evening.

Perhaps a weekly evening class, doing anything would help. Gets you out of the house and meeting and talking to new people.

The obvious answer would be ADHD but you could just have an active mind!
I also felt like I had to "do all the things" when I had severe anxiety?

Tell me more about copy editing? This sounds like something i could maybe do.