As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

[Marssuri]

Just that!
I'll start

I invited friends for dinner at mine. I made traditional dishes from where I'm from, sausage rougail, chicken cari and dessert.

A few days later they text me telling me to come to theirs for some food at dinner time.

I show up and bring a small jar of chilli peppers. One of the people who invited me goes "is that all you're going to eat?". I was confused and asked what they meant. They replied "It's everyone brings their own food."
I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!".
They saw my face and said "don't worry, we can share some food with you!" before cutting a couple of raw carrots, aubergines, cherry tomatoes with some white sauce and putting them in the middle of the table.
They then served each other the meal they had made for themselves and digged in.

Note from MNHQ - we've had lots of nominations for this thread to be moved over to Mumsnet Classics and, as we're very generous hosts, we've done exactly this.

No! They had no alcohol in the house either

Ugh, my mum does this with sausages.

They buy nice sausages, but I'd rather have three cheap whole ones than 1.3 posh ones.

Christmas just gone. Our daughters were each going to their inlaws for Xmas, and so I invited my parents and my 2 sisters and BILs.

One sister offered money towards the food (we refused it) brought soft drinks, a Xmas pudding, chocolates etc, offered to help prepare, offered to help wash up, etc.

Other sister was tasked with bringing mince pies. She brought 5 - there were 8 of us 🤷‍♀️

I was going to say this!😂

When we moved in we were invited next door by our neighbours for a evening meal. We took a bottle of wine, which was placed on the sideboard unopened.
We were then offered a cup of tea and a plate came out with Kit Kats.
We ate a Kit Kat each then an hour later the host opened the wine. We all had a glass of wine, in a sherry glass.
Then the host proceeded to finish the bottle by himself. We left at 9pm starving and dehydrated. All very odd. It later transpired that they were highly religious and apparently I'd blasphemed. From that point on I was looked on as the anti christ and they never spoke to me again. No excuse for bad manners though!

Yes just shocking

Hate stinginess with food if this is the case

To be fair, I think this was a mental health issue as much as being tight fisted but my DD's grandma was horrendously tight. Wouldn't part with a penny unless she absolutely had to. We never expected to be fed or offered more than a biscuit despite several hours of travelling to visit.

She used to buy DD clothes from jumble sales (when she was 2 to 3 years old), often stained or with holes and said she'd "grow into them". Except they were size 14 or 16 and now as a mid 20's adult she still hasn't grown into them. She once took DD to Claire's for her birthday treat and lost the plot when DD picked up a £3 pair of earrings and said "I'm not made of money". The budget was £1. She would also measure bath water so there was no more than an inch at the bottom. The irony of all this was that she was a multi millionaire who didn't enjoy a penny of it because she just couldn't. She had a very sad life unfortunately.

I am sure your friends would understand! The theme on here is people being stingy and not seeing it as an issue/ insult to guests especially if said guests are generous when it's their turn to host. If you are hard up then it's perfectly reasonable to provide less, and from the sound of your post it's just a temporary thing, and your friends would know this

Years ago I was invited ( summonsed ) out to lunch at the home of my manager who was on mat leave at the time.

Me and my colleague came from modest backgrounds and manager would regale us with talk of exotic recipes made with fresh produce from her garden.
We arrived, hungry and overwhelmed to be served tinned tomato soup ( not even Heinz) and half a bread roll each.

Years ago I used to have a friend over every Tuesday for dinner. Not once did she ever bring anything to the table but she did bring her own wine and crisps each week. She would take her leftovers too. Anyway. One day she suggested rather than me cooking should we go KFC. Off we go. She orders her meal and pays. I proceed to order mine and of course. I paid for mine. So stingy.

My own wedding. We only had 40 for the wedding breakfast but had about another 50 in the evening. We had cheese and crackers and wedding cake. I can’t see how it was possibly enough. There was a few hundred behind the bar but I suspect that didn’t go far. I still cringe now when I think about it. At the time it was a fast planned wedding (I was pregnant) and we were on a tight budget with a baby coming. I simply didn’t think about it enough.

@Marssuri was it just you as a guest or others too? Just you would make it even more awkward and rude!!! On their part, ofc

You win the thread!😂

If it makes you feel any better, I have done some stuff that I know would end up on this thread.

Taking absolutely nothing to a dinner party because I hadn't been brought up around parties with etiquette..... my family were a bunch of alcoholics who only ever went to the pub or did cheap sausage roll and crisps sort of buffets. I had no idea I was supposed to provide a gift for the host, and no one said anything when I didn't. It was only when I started cooking and inviting people over when I was a bit older that I realised people were bringing me flowers etc

Taking an opened bottle of wine to a dinner party as I didn't have the money for a fresh bottle

Not being able to split the bill in a restaurant for a large group and instead just paying for my share because it's all I could afford and I got the cheapest pasta on the menu, others had steak and champagne. Others could see that as stingy.

Not providing what I had promised for a Boxing Day evening because I simply did not have time to make anything..... the day just turned out that way and I was in tears. Guests were making turkey sandwiches at 9pm instead of tucking into the turkey and bacon pie I do every year with leftovers

If there was seconds going I always stuffed myself so I wouldn't become hungry again as quickly as I didn't have a lot of money for food

I can just see it now "she turned up with a half drunk bottle of wine that she proceeded to drink herself and ate all the leftovers" 🤣🤣🤣

Place marking. I love this thread 😟

Nicely done!

@TobarnanGealt ·it was the way she said it and actually when i ran a guesthouse in Blackpool before in room facilities became popular when guests arrived i used to make a tray of tea and coffee with squash for any kids and take it to the rooms for them while they settled themselves in, and if anyone wanted a brew out of meal times no problem and no extra charge

I am so sorry to hear this, were any of your friends aware of your circumstances? Pretty hard if they didn't and were judgy (but worse if they knew and were still judgy!) I hope things are better for you now.
I am also a meet-and-eat down the pub person so this thread has given me a good education on proper etiquette if I am ever invited to a dinner party!

SIL 1 who visited from the other side of the world with her 3 year old. Treated to 4 days at Centre Parks. Would you like a glass of wine. Yeh. Would x like an ice cream, yeh. Bankrolled for four days and not only did they not offer so much as a round if coffee, one evening after we had cooked, supervised all three children, sorted a birthday cake for her son, got up from the table and laid down on the sofa to read as we carried on supervising and clearing up.

SIL2 and then partner who travelled the world used our house as a base when in London. On the third occasion we fed them for a week, put them up, hosted them well. At the end if the week our guest room was left as a tip and they did not so much as leave a bunch of flowers or send a thank you card.

Meaness of spirit and grabby more than the money side of things.

I am very glad they live thousands of miles away. After the first five years of a 30+ year marriage I stopped standing for it.

Love it.

Invited a couple over - we cooked all the food and supplied all the alcohol. They live in London and us in Home Counties so we said they can spend the night to drink. They brought an overnight bag but said they would see how they felt about our house before agreeing to stay. When they came they said it was actually quite nice so would stay (first red flag)

we went out in the day around the area and the man needed petrol so we pulled into a BP with an M&S. He got petrol and also bought a cheesecake for our dessert as their contribution as guests.

We ate starters, mains and were then full, drank loads. Then I went to clear up before bed but they said not to and we’d all do it in the morning. Every single plate and glass in our flat had been used and we didn’t have a dishwasher so I wanted to tackle it but was reassured by them saying they assist in the morning.

They woke us up with a knock at the door at 7am on a Sunday to say they were off. Flat was left in a state. I was hungover and thought the cheesecake would be perfect… went to the fridge…they had taken it with them!!

And we have a winner

*Again though - I don’t understand this.
Wouldn’t you just say “stick the kettle on, there’s a love”? Or at least ask for a glass of water.

Or perhaps some of these friends/family members are trying to tell some of the people on here something?*

Well, seeing as I was only there at her invitation @Ohffsbarbara , i don't think she was trying to tell me anything.

I just thought 'oh, I'm sure she'll offer in a minute' and then the more time that passed the more awkward it felt to mention it.

Plus, it was the first time I'd been to someone's house where I've been told to 'excuse the mess' that I've actually had to excuse the mess, so it was probably best all round.

When I was small, we went to visit my aunt and her husband. My grandma had spent 2 days wallpapering the living room for them, she had a knack for it. We went out later in the week and visited a lovely little village. They had a charity stall with teas, coffees and homemade cakes. Lovely. My grandma bought the drinks for everyone, one each of course. My uncle bought 2 pieces of traybake between 8 of us and proceeded to cut them up to share.

A work colleague of mine was leaving our department and instead of going out for a leaving do, said she would prefer a casual get together at hers as her DH loved to BBQ. She set a a date and we all turned up at her house laiden down with wine, nibbles etc having been told just to bring ourselves.
We were greeted by her at the garden gate with a clip board where she gave us a ticket with her BACS details on and pen each which was to be used to record exactly what we ate over the course of the evening so that the money could be sent to her account before we left. I wouldn't have minded but she priced a cash and carry hotdog at £5!!